


Ingrata Reditus

by floweryfreelance



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama, Drama & Romance, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Kuroshitsuji II | Black Butler II, Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler References, M/M, Manga & Anime, Romance, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:14:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 46,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27835111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/floweryfreelance/pseuds/floweryfreelance
Summary: Alois Trancy and Ciel Phantomhive find themselves in the middle of an unexpected reunion after almost a decade of being separated. Both young men know new things now, secrets that must be kept from the Trancy demon butler Claude Faustus. All they want is to be with one another, but when things go awry, the future begins to look bleak for the two Earls.This work contains eventual sexual content and violence. These chapters will be marked, please read at your own discretion.None of the fictional characters in this work belong to me, and all rights go to the original creators of Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji.
Relationships: Ciel Phantomhive & Alois Trancy, Ciel Phantomhive/Alois Trancy
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> This work of fiction is an original collaborative work between tumblr users @theearltrancy and @floweryfreelance. Its original format was in that of a roleplay, and has been edited to be a more cohesive story. This work was created on 11.10.20 and completed on 11.30.20.  
> Please consider following each author for more fictional works.

“Draw the curtains. Please…” Alois trailed, head in his palm. The blonde was leaned against the window of a carriage that was moving at a snail’s pace. The Autumn air was brisk and foggy as it pulled into London once again. It felt heavy and the man felt crushed by it.  
Freshly twenty-two, he had admitted to no one why he decided to return. After his fling with Ciel, things in his makeshift family turned sour. Claude was impatient in seeing that revenge was no longer on the table after they spent so many cold nights keeping one another warm. His fear was deep-seated, a feeling more than anything that something was coming. Alois believed harm was to come to his lover had he stayed. So he convinced Hannah to lie to Claude, to make him believe that France would bring flavor to the soul, that he might find reasons to turn against Ciel once again after leaving. That was never his plan, but he knew that Claude would push him into resentment anyhow. The flamboyant boy found happiness, but threw it away to pretend to find it once again. He was to study in France until he “regained his anger.”  
That was a solid lie until he met Jean. Jean was a boy of small frame, elegant speech, and blue eyes. They both attended a boys’ school in Paris, trading lies and glances. The glances became long quiet nights together in the dorms. The dorms became a small vacation home in the countryside. The lie became real. Resentment grew, but Jean was always there to calm his nerves. In his eyes, Alois found memory and let it become his reality. It was as if Ciel became someone who could love him. At least, he could until Jean met Alice.  
Alice was a beautiful woman across the lake from their home. She had hair of gold and eyes of crystal - even the boy couldn’t deny that she was lovely and fair. She spoke with more honey, she walked with a light step, she had no tragedy in her past but she had money in her pocket. They spent long days by the lake, boating together as Jean told her about his “cousin.” He told her their entire life together was a family arrangement. He told her he was free to marry. He told Alois he loved her. He told Alois that they could never marry, that another man could never fulfill him. After eight long years of ultimate bliss, Alois was kicked out of the home they shared and sent packing. He was offered to stay, but in a flurry he packed what he could and set running. Now, here he was. Dressed in understated clothing in a carriage headed to his own home London.  
“Master, would you like to stop in the city before we get home? Your clothes are…” Hannah trailed off by his side, pausing before an insult passed her lips. Alois’ dead eyes didn’t betray his mood. He sighed.  
“I suppose it would be nice to look good again. It didn’t matter when…” Alois looked away, swallowing. “Yes, let’s. I need a new coat.” 

The Earl Ciel Phantomhive, now a young man of 21, stood patiently outside of a hat shop in central London. He watched carriages and couples go by left and right, lost in his own thoughts as he people-watched. By his side, just behind him, stood his loyal butler Sebastian, standing just as still and silent as a statue.  
“Sebastian,” Ciel began, circling his thumb around the head of the cane in his hand. “What time is it now?”  
“Just past eleven, Master.” Sebastian responded timely, somehow aware of the exact time without the need to check the pocket watch tucked away in his coat.  
“She’s been in there nearly half an hour,” Ciel sighed, still keeping his composure though his patience was wearing thin. His fiance of some few years, his betrothed for longer, Elizabeth, has begged him to come into town with her to buy a new hat. She received a beautiful new gown from her aunt for her recent birthday, a satin fabric dress the color of marionberries with golden trim on the edges of the skirt and bodice, and so desired a hat to match. Since they stepped foot out of the carriage, Ciel had been stationed by the door, waiting for her as he had no interest in ladies things, especially hats.  
Sebastian released a puff of air through his nose, stifling a chuckle. “Would you like me to fetch her, Master?”  
“No, no.” Ciel waved a hand, dismissing the offer. “A few more minutes should suffice. It’s been so long since I brought her into the city.” It had been so long since he had spent any intimate time with her at all. His brows furrowed slightly. “A few more minutes.”

The horses picked up pace, jutting the carriage forward suddenly. Alois huffed, annoyed by absolutely everything. Hannah reached out briefly to pat him on the back but stopped halfway. Over the years, they’d grown closer, but not yet close enough to touch. She was still a punching bag, and she knew that. She placed her hands back in her lap as Alois looked out the window again. His eyes perked up on seeing one of the shops he used to frequent.  
“There!” He exclaimed. Finally, something that didn’t remind him of Jean. A flash of excitement actually crossed his face for the first time in weeks. It was nice to feel. “I want to go there, Hannah. They use the finest velvets!”  
She nodded. The carriage pulled up to the curb, stopping for the first time in a while. One of the triplets got out to open his passenger door for him. The blonde man grabbed his blue velvet coat with gold trim to hopefully cover the cotton that was his breezy, french clothing. There was the hint of a smile on his face as the door opened and his shoe touched cobblestone. There was no turning back now, but damn, he’d at least missed his silks. 

Sensing a shift in their surroundings, Sebastian paused suddenly, reaching forward to place his arm just in front of his young Master. There was a demon nearby- no, more than one.  
Ciel noticed his butler’s movement. He hadn’t done this in ages, protecting him this way. “Sebastian?” He asked, subconsciously tightening his grip on his cane as he looked at his servant. “What is it?” He didn’t answer, his eyes scanning their close surroundings. Ciel hated being ignored, especially by his most loyal servant.  
“Well? Answer me, Sebastian, what is it?” He impatiently questioned. After having lived a mostly peaceful life for the last while, the idea of something stirring Sebastian nearly scared him. Sebastian took note of the environment. What had changed? He eyed each person that was passing by- no, none of them. But something had changed, what was it?  
The carriage. That carriage, no more than twenty feet away. That was the only variable in their surroundings that had changed. It carried a threatening scent, but a familiar one. Ignoring the sounds of the Earl’s inquiries, he eyed the vehicle as the door was opened by a familiar face. The young man who stepped out, even more familiar.  
His patience finally running out, Ciel smacked Sebastian’s arm away from him, digging his cane into the ground. “Sebastian, I demand you tell me the reason for this! Ignoring me like this, how dare-” Ciel followed his butler’s gaze, eyes resting upon the same carriage just down the street. He watched as a pair of long, slender legs in heeled boots stepped out from the carriage, followed by a tuft of blond hair ducking out. The Earl suddenly felt faint, as what little color that was there completely drained from his cheeks.  
It couldn’t be. It wasn’t possible. Ten years, nearly ten years. He racked his brain, searching for something, anything, that could explain this familiar man. As desperately as he wished for it to not be who he thought it was, he knew deep down that it was the Earl Trancy.

“We’re here!” The Trancy Earl exclaimed, a faint tinge of joy in his voice. The fog suddenly started to feel less suffocating and more bright. Either way, he pulled the sides of his frock together and fastened the buttons. He shifted uncomfortably, not used to walking on stone anymore. Trying to regain his confidence every so slightly, he pushed a hand through the blonde tuft on his head, overgrown but still reminiscent of what it once was. This Alois stood as an echo of the one that left London all those years ago. To a passerby, he would seem nothing more than a wealthy man of marriageable age. In fact, a few women took notice immediately, which he took no notice of himself.  
Taking in his surroundings, he began to look around, eyes crossing Ciel’s for a split-second. It registered in the back of his head, but not right away. He… knew he’d just remembered something. Cautiously, his eyes scanned back over the street, and they locked. No one else wore an eye patch like that, used that cane, scowled in that way. He thought of Jean, how for years the man had only been a replacement for the real thing. He struggled to remember everything that led him to Paris in his youth, remembering only the recent events at first. Was that why he felt his stomach fall into his chest? This man looked like Jean, but… what lead him to Jean other than-  
Realization shook him. He felt suddenly sick with both excitement and dread. He looked the man up and down, frozen still. This was him- no. It couldn’t be, right? For all he knew, his lover had passed years ago. Maybe moved oceans away, maybe left for the New World, maybe fell into the sea. And yet, in his gut he knew they’d be reunited.  
Nearly ten years had passed. An entire life had come and gone, and he’d left Alice and Jean behind to be happy, for lack of a better term, a man that he’d thought of as close to a husband as possible. A man had betrayed him, he’d lost a home, he’d lost himself in France. Ciel’s presence encouraged him to find it.  
Cautious, he took a step in Ciel’s direction despite Hannah’s grasp on his arm to assist him out of the carriage. Behind the ropes of the horses, Claude smiled, knowing just how many ideas he’d planted in Alois’ head about that man in front of them.

He was taller now, Ciel thought. Still taller than him in those boots, but taller. Like himself, he was a grown man now. They weren’t boys anymore. A million thoughts began to rush through his mind, bringing on an intense feeling of dizziness.  
Where had he gone? It was as if he just disappeared. He nearly forgot about him. No, that was a lie. He could never forget about Trancy. About Alois. Not after everything, not even after ten years.  
Sebastian, his eyes darting between each of the demons before them, kept his arm just in front of his master. He lightly gripped the sleeve of his coat, feeling Ciel move to step forward, or perhaps he was about to faint.  
The grey-haired young man swallowed hard, his palms clammy and cold. His gaze never left the Earl’s. “Is it…you?” He spoke quietly, barely able to be heard. “Alois-”  
“Darling!” An excitable, joyful voice shattered the tense silence. “I’m so sorry I took so long! There was a hat the exact color as my new dress, but another one in a color that matched the trim. I just couldn’t choose, so I bought both!” A now grown Lizzie grasped her fiance’s arm, gesturing towards her lady’s maid who followed behind her, balancing two large hat boxes in her arms. “I told you to come in with me, the cold is just dreadful out here.” She trailed off, noticing Ciel’s lack of attentiveness towards her. He was frozen still, gaze locked on something. She leaned in, cheek to cheek with him, looking in the same direction. As she took notice of the Earl Trancy, one could see the wheels turning in her brain as she tried to recall where she had seen this man before. As it dawned on her, her face lit up once more, bringing a hand excitedly up to her cheek. “It can’t be, Alois Trancy? The Earl Trancy?” She chimed. “How long has it been now, nearly a decade? How wonderful it is to see you again!” She gleefully strode up to him, grasping his hand in hers with a warm welcome. Ciel stayed behind, still glued to the ground beside Sebastian.

Though his nerves were certainly running in overtime, it was not like Alois to betray his composure in public. A few women looked on, curious about the new man in town. His eyes were as piercing as ever and in that moment, both knew that the other remembered everything. A gentle smile began to find its way to his pink mouth as he stepped up to the man, only a few feet away now. And then-  
“Oh, hello again!” He exclaimed, letting some of his nerves betray him through the light laugh that followed. Only the two knew why he was really nervous. “Eight years, my dear.” He answered, grasping the lady’s hands right back. He seemed… gentle. Defeated, even. Alois was not usually this calm. Was it perhaps just the years? Or could the other tell something had occurred to scare him back?  
“I studied at a boys’ school in France.” He added, to throw off any scent of worry. “I guess I met someone, but I missed it here. The dinners weren’t nearly as fun.” He paused. “She stayed behind. I’m glad to be back! I see you’ve been shopping?”  
His gaze lifted back to the other man, knowing he’d already said too much.

Ciel couldn’t hide his emotions from his face. He felt completely disarmed. Helpless, weak, comforted. A ringing in his ears drowned out all noise around him, Lizzie’s voice and the bustle of life in the streets. That all stopped once Alois spoke.  
Something was different about him. It was still him, yes, but his demeanor was changed. With anyone else Ciel would have passed it off as change over time, but that didn’t apply to Alois. In all the time he knew Trancy, nothing could change who he was, or how he spoke or how he acted. A twinge of skepticism crept into his subconscious. He watched as his fiance spoke with Alois, the two of them talking to each other like old friends. For a moment he felt like he had left his body, but he was soon shocked back into reality with the feeling of his stomach sinking, as Alois looked back at him over Lizzie’s shoulder.  
“A boys’ school in France!” Lizzie sang, looking back at Ciel briefly. “Isn’t that lovely? Oh Alois, you must have countless stories from your travels. I’m so eager to hear them, and I’m sure Ciel would love to hear them too!”  
The lump in Ciel’s throat grew.  
Lizzie smiled brightly up at Alois, suddenly gasping as a wonderful thought crossed her mind. “You ought to join us at the Phantomhive Manor for dinner tonight!” She chimed. “We just received a new set of fine China, and I’ve been begging Ciel to bring guests over so we can use it. This is perfect, isn’t it darling?” She looked back at him again.  
Dinner? No. No, not dinner. He couldn’t handle it, not now. Not this soon. He couldn’t even manage any words. He couldn’t even avert his eyes from the blonde man from his past. Dinner would kill him.

Alois’ icy blue eyes scanned over to his once-lover. He felt that the other boy was off, and was startled. Admittedly, he was himself as well. Certainly, he didn’t expect to see the man so soon. A few days later, maybe he’d check in, maybe send a letter. And yet, he was right in front of him. As Lizzie held his hands in hers, his mind trailed as his eyes stayed on the man.  
He knew that things had changed. Were they married now? Perhaps the other still held feelings the way he did. Those nights they spent together, speaking into the darkness that they would love each other for ages seemed so much closer. They crossed with his memory of his recent lover, blending together in a way that he never thought they would. They really looked so similar. Even Alice spoke the same way Lizzie did. He realized in that moment he was doomed to repeat this cycle.  
If he were doomed, he may as well do it all again.  
He turned back in, barely catching the offer for dinner.  
“I- yes, of course! My dinnerware is still in shipment and I could use a good meal after all the traveling. Allons-y, certainement.” He added with a smile that betrayed none of his thoughts. “Quite perfect. Oh, it’s so good to see you again.” He looked back to Ciel, unsure. Insecure, even.

Realizing his fate was sealed, Ciel swallowed hard, taking a deep breath before turning his head slightly towards Sebastian. “Sebastian,” He spoke bluntly, as if giving an order. “We’ll return to our carriage now. If we’re to have guests for dinner, we have some preparation to do.” His voice was void of emotion, his eyes staring at nothing.  
“Yes, Master.” Sebastian bowed his head, stepping to the side. “The carriage is just ‘round the corner.”  
“Wonderful.” Ciel nodded, his eyes just barely looking back towards Alois again, as he held out his arm to beckon Lizzie to him. “It’ll be a pleasure to have you this evening, Mr. Trancy. Lizzie,” Ciel’s gaze averted once more, his heart rate steadying as he felt Lizzie’s arm wrap around his.  
The two nobles and their servants began walking in the opposite direction, Lizzie turning back to wave to Alois once more. “We’ll see you soon, Alois! I can hardly wait to hear all of your stories.” She cooed. Ciel didn’t turn back before they vanished around the corner.

Alois caught his name on Ciel’s tongue for the first time in years. Trancy. How he had heard that name - screamed, purred, and spoken with authority like it was now. How it felt like honey and molasses together, like candy and apples plucked straight from trees in the Autumn air. He would let his expression betray him for just a moment - A soft smile with no ice hidden behind it. He nodded to Elizabeth kindly, turning on his heel with certainty.  
“Claude, prepare the proper clothing. Hannah, I’m going to need those new clothes.” He ordered, joy in his sticky-sweet voice.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work of fiction is an original collaborative work between tumblr users @theearltrancy and @floweryfreelance. Its original format was in that of a roleplay, and has been edited to be a more cohesive story. This work was created on 11.10.20 and completed on 11.30.20.  
> Please consider following each author for more fictional works.  
> This work contains eventual sexual content and violence. These chapters will be marked, please read at your own discretion.

Alois had only spent only an hour at home reading before he couldn’t help but start getting dressed. A royal blue ensemble he had chosen, caked in golden trim and dripping with gemstones on the buttons. Alois dripped wealth once again. He had thrown his clothing from the earlier part of the day in the fire, burning his memories with it. Forget about France, forget about Jean, forget about Alice - that whore. He was home, he was back, and he was going to dinner with his real love. It was the first time he’d danced in ages, telling Claude he was excited to tell off the bluenette or plot against him, or- oh, hell, it didn’t matter. He could stack his lies again. He was unbothered.  
When the carriage pulled up to the manor, he couldn’t help but betray his excitement. He stepped out, assisted as usual, but positively buzzing.

“Master,” Sebastian spoke through a cracked bedroom door. “Our guests have just arrived in their carriage.”  
Ciel joined his butler and servants and fiance just inside the front doors, everyone seemingly taking position to prepare to welcome their guests. Ciel rarely invited guests, he never wanted anyone in his home unless he had no choice. For this evening, he chose his nicer evening attire, a deep blue ensemble with black lace trim along the sleeves and ends of the coat, with trousers and black boots to match. He adjusted the patch over his eye, nodding to Sebastian as a cue for him to open the door.  
Lizzie slid her arm through his, squeezing him softly. “You don’t need to be so nervous, my love.” She cooed to him, a comforting and motherly tone coating her voice. “It’s just Alois.”  
Ciel let his eyes fall shut for just a moment before opening them once more, turning to Lizzie with the most subtle of smiles on his face. “I know.”  
Dinner was served rather quickly once the guests were welcomed. Alois and Ciel sat opposite of each other, while Lizzie took her place adjacent to the two young men. Placed before them were heaping plates of richly seasoned pork with sides of roasted potatoes and vegetables, accompanied by both a water glass and one of wine. The table was decorated with extra pieces of the fine China, as well as softly lit lavender candles to calm the atmosphere.  
Excited to hear his stories, though trying to keep her proper composure, Elizabeth wasted no time in poking and prodding at Alois. “So, Alois,” She started, flattening her cloth napkin over her lap. “You said you went to France to attend a boys’ school, didn’t you? You must have had loads of fun when classes were over.” She giggled.  
Ciel locked his gaze on his plate, eating small bites quietly.

Placed now across from the other man so close, Alois looked over the spread before him. Decadent food was a memory from times past, but the wine was familiar. Thin fingers curled around the stem, eyes unsure but smile bleeding out. It felt oddly like home, though it was a frame from an old movie now, dressed in fine china. His gaze lifted to the woman now, sinking into a character of himself.  
“ _Loads_ of fun.” He specified, secretly hoping it would perk Ciel’s ears. “It was beautiful there. I simply realized I wished to see the world I’d been reading so much about at home, I suppose.” He paused to take another sip of wine and picked up his fork. “Though it was only a matter of time before I came home.”

Excited by his answer, Lizzie lightly clapped her hands together. “Oh, I knew it! I haven’t been to France since summertime four years go. I’ve been dying to go back. Their parties are always so lavish and the people so extravagant. Don’t you agree, Ciel?”  
Ciel nearly winced at the mention of his name, secretly praying he wouldn’t have to partake in this dinner. “Yes,” he agreed in a monotone voice. “Very lavish and extravagant. You fit right in, Mr. Trancy.” He stated flatly, eyes only briefly looking up at Alois at the mention of his name.  
Elizabeth shook her head at his mannerisms, smiling softly. “Ciel hasn’t been to France in ages either. When he went last, he had a beautiful portrait painted of himself.” She poked at her food. “I do wish you would hang it, my love. It is such a lovely painting.” She cooed to her fiance.  
My love. “You were the one who convinced me to have it painted,” Ciel said. “I don’t have any need for self portraits.” He continued in a slightly quieter voice, hand coming up to his eye patch for no more than a second before returning to his lap. Half the time, he only knew what he looked like because Sebastian checked. He didn’t usually enjoy looking at himself.

Alois smiled at the glance, leaning back ever so slightly in his chair. False comfort suited him well as a man, clearly grown-up now and only slightly better at holding back the things he really wanted to say. Stories bubbled behind his lips, but he offered few.  
“I agree. I’ve never seen it, but should it betray any of your looks- as a couple,” he added, as if an afterthought, “I can imagine the French did you well.”  
The man smirked, toying now. He took another sip of his wine before placing it back down with grace and cutting off a piece of his pork. “If you ever get the chance to go again, I recommend Provins. The trade fair there is simply to die for.”  
Provins, the city where Jean and himself shopped for meats and vegetables every weekend. Alois swallowed, the light in his eyes dimming for only a second. He wondered if any of the others could tell - something happened in Paris.

Ciel inhaled a bit of his wine upon hearing the Earl’s underhanded nuance. He coughed lightly, setting his wine glass down and dabbing at his lips with his napkin, shooting a piercing glare across the table at him. While he wouldn’t admit to himself that he missed Alois, he most certainly didn’t miss these little games of his.  
“It truly is such a lovely painting.” Elizabeth smiled at Alois, oblivious to Ciel’s minor coughing fit. She paused slightly, curiosity creeping into her thoughts, but worried she may overstep a boundary. “Alois, if you don’t mind me asking,” she began, placing her hands in her lap. “You mentioned you met someone while in France.”  
Upon their first meeting, Ciel had been in such shock he must have missed that comment entirely. He had met someone? He quickly averted his eyes to his plate, trying desperately to push the intrusive thoughts from his mind.  
Who was he? Or was it a woman? Had he fallen in love or just found another toy to use for his own amusement? How long had it lasted?  
No, he didn’t care. He couldn’t dare care. It would hurt too badly.

Alois coughed nervously at the question, playfulness leaving his face. It was truly a sad story that he wanted his lover to know. However, he had to play it cautiously, for it was also a forbidden story, one that could in the wrong hands land him in prison. Or worse, cut off from his loved ones, the only few he’d ever found.  
“I supposed I don’t mind, no.” He took a bite of his dinner before a lump found its way into his stomach. “I did meet a woman. We… we were betrothed for a period of time. But she wanted another kind of life.” He said, soft for once. “I left her the house in Paris. It was right on the lake. Beautiful, really.” He paused, “it was the least I could do for her after seven years.”  
Betraying this fact, he picked up his wine glass by the stem once again, forcing a smile to return to his face. “I haven’t decided what kind of life I want without her quite yet. She was…” Alois trailed off, unable to describe it quite yet. He ran off in the night, though Jean had asked him to stay. Jean loved them both, but Alois was possessive as all knew of him to be. The violent packing, the screaming, slamming doors and pretending it was a family squabble and not the ending of lovers. He really did leave Jean and Alice the house on the lake. It was not for the couple’s sake, but he couldn’t bring himself to ever return. At the very least, his histrionics had never left him. The blonde bit the corner of his lip nervously before returning his attention to his wine.

The air felt thicker suddenly. Elizabeth nodded slowly, feeling intrigued by the Earl’s story but also feeling pity for him, worried she may have crossed a line. A moment of silence passed before Ciel spoke up.  
“It sounds like it would have been a beautiful life, nonetheless.” Ciel commented, a sudden wave of confidence washing over him as he lifted his head to look directly into Alois’ icy blue eyes. “I’m sorry things ended the way they did.” Something in his tone was off, and he knew it, and he wondered if Alois noticed it. In a way, he meant what he said, and he was sorry that Alois had endured such a romantic tragedy. But another part of him, the part tainting his tone, almost felt prideful that it hadn’t worked out.  
Lifting his glass slightly, he proposed a half-hearted toast. “To new beginnings, if I may say so myself.” His eyes lingered on Alois’ for a moment before averting to meet Lizzie’s, a soft smile lighting up her face as she raised her glass as well.

Alois was taken aback, shaken out of his memory. He picked up on the tone to Ciel’s voice, once he hadn’t heard before. They locked eyes for a moment, Alois suspicious of the congratulation. In a way, it pissed him off. Cocky asshole. His lips set into a light scowl as he rose his glass with the other.  
“To new beginnings.” He echoed, lifting his glass to his lips. His tone was tinged with sour feelings - if only he knew how it had really ended. If only Ciel knew just how doomed he was to repeat the same pattern in every country he ever settled in. The blonde had made peace with his sexuality, but not his life due to it.  
He wondered just how much of this Ciel could pick up off of his sudden change in demeanor. The game was on once again, he decided as the alcohol clouded his mind ever so slightly. In the others’ eyes, he found his determination.

The remainder of the dinner was filled with light conversation, none of the three nobles taking notice of the rain outside becoming heavier and heavier. They drank and feasted on small desserts, making casual smalltalk. Most of this, of course, was Elizabeth milking Alois for every detail of France he could remember. Ciel simply listened, keeping his guard up and listening closely for Alois to step out of line.  
It wasn’t until a loud crack of thunder and lightning boomed through the dining room, shaking the chandelier above their heads, that the three turned to look out the large window beside the table. The trees bent with the wind and the Trancy carriage rocked back and forth. Leaves blew by along the ground and the rain pooled in every crevice it fell into.  
“Oh, how dreadful!” Elizabeth said with a small gasp. “I thought I smelled rain earlier. It’s just as I told you, Ciel, isn’t it? I knew a storm was on it’s way.” Ciel nodded silently, still a bit shaken from the sudden burst of thunder. Ever since he was a child, he always hated storms.  
Elizabeth stood from the table, walking to the window to peer outside. Shaking her head, she folded her hands over her chest. “This won’t do.” She turned to her fiance. “Ciel, we can’t send them all home in this weather. The carriage will surely tip over with this wind.”  
Ciel swore he felt his eye twitch beneath its patch.  
Lizzie turned towards Alois. “Alois, you and your servants ought to stay here tonight.” She offered with a smile sweeter than honey. “There’s a spare room and plenty of space in the servants’ quarters, and-”  
“Elizabeth.” Ciel stopped her, trying his best to withhold a glare. He wanted to scream no, but his manners kept him from doing so. “We- We would need to make certain preparations in order for a guest to stay. I’m sure they’ll be fi-”  
“Are you sending me home as well, then?” She inquired. Despite their long engagement, Lizzie still lived at her own estate, only frequenting the Phantomhive Manor. She crossed her arms, staring him down expectantly.  
She trapped him. Damn. His eyes briefly darted towards Alois, then back to his fiance. Damn it all. Doing his best to conceal his disgust for the situation, he stood, waving a hand. “Sebastian,” he called, his butler stepping forward from the corner of the room. “Prepare our two spare rooms, and fetch one of my bed robes for Mr. Trancy.”  
“Yes, Master.”  
Without another word, Ciel stood from the table, cane in hand, and made his way to the drawing room, where more fine wine, a fireplace, and an old chess set sat waiting.

“Hm… such a shame.” The smirking blond allowed, finishing his glass of wine before Ciel wandered off. Truly, such a storm made for a perfect situation for him. Plans began to form in his soured mind as he stood, fixed. “Claude, I need you to tend to the carriage. It looks like it’s going to be a long night.” He ordered, straightening his frock coat and wandering into the drawing room behind the other man.  
Alois emerged in the doorway, cocky and playful yet again. “A storm..” He began in a low voice, walking into the room and to the bookshelf. He pretended to peruse as Ciel looked on. “So, you’re… still unwed? After eight years?” He remarked with a light smile on his lips. “Hell, even I moved on.”

Standing in front of the fireplace, his cane by his side, Ciel stared into the flames and felt the warmth on his face. This was indeed going to be a long night.  
“I’m not sure that’s an appropriate question for a guest to be asking.” Ciel turned his head towards Alois slightly, though he refused to look at him. “Especially after disappearing for so long. I’m shocked you even remember who I am.” He said sharply, words like razors coated in sticky tension.  
A moment of silence passed them as Lizzie entered the room, saying she was turning in early for the night, as the long day had drained much of her energy. She thanked Alois for his company and lovely conversation, bidding him goodnight before leaving her fiance with a kiss on the cheek and a squeeze of his hand. Ciel’s hand lingered on hers as she walked away, in an effort to prove his loyalty to his fiance in front of Alois. Not that that would be enough to convince him. And with that, they were left alone again.

While Alois noticed the prolonged contact, even he could read through it. With a comment on his sham of an engagement, he’d rattled the other’s pride and he knew it. The playful smile returned to his face, his fingers tracing the backs of books on the shelf as the fire’s light played in shapes on his back. Unfortunately, Alois enjoyed Lizzie’s company as well and the whole scene did nothing to shake him.  
“Guest or not, it’s true, isn’t it?” He prodded, pulling a book off the shelf to inspect the cover. “You fixated on a romance from ten years ago, and I’m still the one who shared a home with hi-. Her.” Alois paused, lightly sighing while he opened the cover. His fingers traced the leather with care, a distraction if nothing else. “I mean, I got somewhere.”

His words stung like alcohol on a fresh wound. But he was right, to at least some extent. Ciel had been putting off his marriage to Lizzie for as long as he could remember, and her pure soul remained ever patient, simply waiting for Ciel to be ready. She wanted a happy marriage with him.  
Ciel noticed the blond stumble over his words, a small smirk appearing on his lips. So it was a man he met. He turned on his heel, moving to take a seat on the purple velvet couch in front of the fireplace as he formed a rebuttal.  
“And how did that go for you then, hm?” He prodded, leaning his chin into his palm as he stared into the fire. “If it had really gone somewhere, you likely would still be in France, would you not?”

“Well, that’s the tragedy, isn’t it?” The other Earl replied, putting the book back and wandering over to the fire himself. Picking up the fire poker, he stabbed into a log and watched the sparks fly. Something about it felt nostalgic. His glance shifted to the other man. “Men like us never find happy endings. Be it long life or otherwise.”  
A double-entendre spoke volumes. While they were both aware of their connection, they were also both keenly aware that they were only alive for revenge and anger, nearly demonic creatures themselves by the standards of the society surrounding them. Alois pushed a hand through his hair. “The home is shared with another now, so I let them keep it. I’ll take it back after their life poisons the walls. Maybe tear it down.”

Ciel couldn’t help but stifle a chuckle. “I see you still haven’t changed, even after all this time,” He stated bluntly, his words sharp. “Still destroying and abandoning everything you don’t like. Are you sure it’s been eight years?” He quietly scoffed.  
He could taste the poison on his own words even as they left his mouth. But he knew deep down that, though the past eight years had been peaceful, they weren’t what he wanted. They were lonely. He grew to resent Alois for leaving him, even though he knew their options were limited. After nearly a decade, he was finally beginning to get used to his reality, and here he was again. Just as poisonous and beautiful as ever.

Alois let a smirk cross his lips. He knew that he was consistent, if nothing else. Though that consistency was tainted with flame and gasoline, it was that fire that kept him moving. He crossed the room to sit in the seat opposite his ex-lover. Placing his chin in his palm, his gaze found the other man’s.  
“Eight long years.” He repeated, looking a little more tired than usual admitting it. “I would’ve burned those two inside it if I had only the time.” Alois admitted under his breath, idly picking up the king on the chessboard and knocking over the queen with it.”I never get used to betrayal.”

Seeing that smirk on his lips sparked a feeling in Ciel’s stomach, one of longing and betrayal and anger.  
“Was this all part of a plan of yours, then?” He spat, struggling to keep his composure as he had over dinner. “To just disappear for a decade, let me settle with my life as it is, and then turn up here again to tear it all down?” His voice almost cracked with his final word. He silently prayed Alois hadn’t heard it. Ciel cleared his throat, turning his head away and holding his head in his hand, fingers covering his mouth. “If you told me you controlled the weather, I just might believe it.”

Alois turned to anger at the suggestion that he wanted any of this to happen this way. He felt the fight coming from deep within, all the anger he felt for something that had only happened months ago. It wasn’t as if he wanted to be back in London in the first place. Had he controlled anything, he would have stayed. As much as he’d loved Claude when he was younger, that was also the demon that ripped apart his only known path to happiness. He swallowed a small amount of the venom about to cross his tongue.  
“What I wanted was a normal life! Claude wants you dead, remember?” He spat, taking a breath before speaking again. “And then I go away, find someone who’s willing to kiss me in our home, and they go and fall for some dumb blond whore who prowls my backyard! And to marry her-” He stopped again. Alois looked into the fire behind the man, wishing he’d set the French traitors ablaze. “If I can’t marry him instead, I can at least pretend I chose to leave.”

Ciel still refused to look at him, though he shuddered slightly at the sound of Alois raising his voice at him. Once his tangent had finished, Ciel let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding in, and sat up straight, crossing his legs.  
“Perhaps it’s time we both accept these are the lives we’re destined to lead.” He admitted quietly, despising the thought of it just as much as he believed it. “Forced to either be alone, or live a lie.” His eyes darted towards Alois’, not expecting for their gazes to lock. Cheeks flushing softly, Ciel stood from his seat, standing straight and strong as he looked down at Alois. This was his home.  
“I won’t have any of your games during your stay here. Do you understand me?” Ciel spat in an accusatory tone. “I’ve moved on from this.” _Lies_. He could hear it in his own voice, all lies. “This is nothing more than a coincidence.” One that he had prayed for for years. “...Goodnight.” He turned on his heel, moving to exit the room before Alois could stop him.

Alois, in a reflexive motion, shook himself out of his shock and stood quickly. Before thinking it through, his hand reached out, snatching Ciel’s hand and holding tightly. It was the first time they’d touched in years, the first time at all as adults with lives and pasts that contradicted everything he felt in that moment. It was as if they were kids again, discovering themselves in late nights and bedsheets that cost too much to worry about the future. That was the beginning of it all, but in the back of his head, the blonde always knew it wasn’t the end when he looked back at London in the rear-view window.  
“Do you think I would’ve come back if I didn’t know that?” He accused, grasp tightening even more. Pleading entered his tone, an oddity. “I know it’s all a lie. My departure was a lie, Ciel. You’re the only thing in this world I want to protect and not kill. So I did that. Hell, I lied to Claude to come back here too.” He paused, making sure the other man was looking at him. “I don’t know about you, but I’m doomed to repeat this pattern until I die. But I would do it a thousand times with you. Do you realize just how much I thought of you while I was gone?”

The pounding of his heart was so loud, he wondered if Alois could hear it. His legs felt weak, and he grasped Alois’ hand just as tightly without even realizing it. Ciel stared into the piercing blue eyes of his former lover, his favorite and most terrifying secret, wide eyed and stiff.  
He thought of him. How many times did he think of him while with that other lover of his, he wondered. How many times did he close his eyes and pretend it was _his_ hand he was holding, _his_ lips he was kissing, _his_ bed he was sharing.  
 _My love_.  
Lizzie’s voice echoed through his mind, snapping him out of his trance. He ripped his hand away from Alois’ grasp, only to reach forward and grab him by the color of his dress shirt. “Do you know how terrifying that _pattern_ of ours was? It was like playing chess with Satan himself, one wrong move and all of your secrets would be revealed, your life ruined.” He was nearly out of breath, staring deeply into Alois’ eyes. He missed being this close to him. “I can’t do it again, Alois, I-”  
He stopped, composing himself. Releasing Alois’ collar, he turned away again. “...Sebastian should have given some of my old night clothes to your butler. I’m sure he’s waiting in your room now.” He lowered his voice in an attempt to hide its quivering. “I’m sure you remember where the spare room is. Goodnight, Mr. Trancy.”  
And with that, he left, leaving Alois alone in the drawing room in front of a hot fire, the sound of rain beating violently against the window panes.

Once his collar was released, the man flung himself back into the chair behind him. Defeated for once and tired from the weight of his sins, he slouched into the back and stared up at the ceiling for a while. Time passed as he watched the shadows dance on the ceiling the way he wished he could.  
Terrifying, huh? His whole life was just that. Everything he loved, up in flames for reasons of his own or otherwise. He’d found it ironic when he read of the Phantomhive tragedy in the papers for the first time. Both held history born of fire and only one lived as though he wasn’t doomed to perish in it. Alois knew he lived his life on the edge, but if he were to stop and attempt to find stillness in the web he’d woven his whole life, the web would stop weaving. Over the years, it would simply fall apart, a cobweb of lies and missed opportunity. While boasting a similar lifestyle, only one of the two could ever be wealthy. Unlike his ex-lover, he couldn’t pretend to love someone he didn’t for the rest of his short, doomed life. Unlike Jean, he couldn’t give up his own selfish desires for stability and peace.  
He spent at least an hour in that crushing room, watching the fire crackle until it finally burnt out. He even attempted to read to calm himself down, a pursuit that proved pointless. Finally, he chose to walk to his room and wait until sunrise. Perhaps he could slip out in the darkness if it would just stop raining. However, as he walked down the hall, he crossed Ciel’s room as well. He stopped in the hall, looking around for a moment while he decided to follow his impulses. His pale hand reached out in the darkness to the knob, turning it with enough force to wake the other if he had even been asleep to begin with. As he opened it, he slipped in quickly, shutting the door behind him and pressing himself against the wood.  
“You do _not_ speak to me that way.” He said, though his voice was unsure.

Ciel, now in his warmest robe and tucked away in bed, hadn’t fallen asleep since returning to his room. He was just nodding off, pushing away the intrusive thoughts that used to keep him awake eight years ago, only just returning.  
Shaken awake by the sound of his door opening, he sat up quickly, clasping his hands over his robe to be sure he was covered. His eye, stained with the contract of a demon, glowed softly from beneath his bangs, piercing Alois’ gaze from across the room.  
Realizing now who had entered his room, he calmed down slightly, but still felt threatened. He had been in this situation too many times before; Alois sneaking into his room to try and squeeze more love and affection from his body, doing things to him that put them both in such danger of being found out.  
He narrowed his eyes, not moving from his position. “Leave my room.” He spoke sternly, but softly. The pounding in his chest returned, flooding his ears with thundering noise as another flash of lightning lit up his bedroom for a split second, followed by the boom of thunder that shook the walls. He shuddered again, grasping his robe tightly. “Get...out, Trancy..”

Alois shrunk against the door, reconsidering for only a second. It had been such a long time since either of them were even in the same room together that his tone sparked uncertainty. But he quickly regained his rage enough to overpower it.  
“Absolutely not!” He gritted through clenched teeth. “You are not sleeping unti-” Cut off by thunder and Ciel’s remarks, he was brought to pause and without thinking, he walked closer to the bed in the center of the room. He sat at the end, recognition on his face of the other’s fear. The man looked out the window to watch another crack of lightning as it lit both their faces. Either he had forgotten or he had never known about this fear of his. Taken by concern, Alois’ gaze wandered back to Ciel’s as another crack of thunder rolled. Silence overtook the moment once the shaking passed through the manor. It was as if the building was an extension of the men’s thoughts itself, crushing and yet so empty, awaiting the next crash.  
“I… left for you. And I came back for you. And who knows, in the years, we could both be dead. I don’t want to spend that time pretending I didn’t know you.” He said softly, pleading now. It was the first sense of caution that seeped into his voice regarding the subject. He absolutely knew where it could land them. “I didn’t even do that in France.”

“I don’t believe you..” Ciel interjected, leaning away against the headboard as Alois sat on the edge of his bed. “I.. I don’t believe you came back for me. For all you knew, I could have been married by now. Or sickly, or dead, or far away from here.”  
It was challenging to keep his eyes locked on Alois’. His gaze desired to wander, taking note of how the moonlight cast shadows on the blond’s clothes and face. The way his hair fell in front of his eyes, in this dark bedroom where so many nights had been shared between the two of them, reminded him of everything.  
“We.. We were boys, Alois..” He tried to convince himself, voice threatening to break. “We were just boys, we..” _Gather yourself_. “I’ll call for Sebastian if I must. Your butler is likely wondering where you are.” No matter how hard he tried, Ciel failed to be threatening when his butler was absent from his side. He was helpless, and he knew it. He was caught in this goddamn spider web again, waiting to be devoured. It was all too familiar, all too desirable, and just as terrifying as it was before.

Alois sighed, looking tired once again. At this older age, one could tell that this was a man who knew tragedy, no longer a scared little boy. His thoughts grew more complex as the summers grew shorter and the winters grew colder. Years of rejection and loss were beginning to catch up with him and it was only noticeable in the light of a chipped full moon.  
“And now we’re men. What of it?” He grumbled under his breath, looking back out the window. “That crossed my mind. I would’ve gone to your grave every day, or slept beside you to keep you warm, come up with some lie, or found my way back home.” He leaned into his lap, placing his chin in his hand quietly. “Claude just thinks I’m here to trick you. But what use of that?” He rolled his eyes at the idea of it, remembering the lies he was already stacking just to sit here at the end of the man’s bed. Doomed was the only way to put it, the web he wove years ago even pulling his own self back into its gravity. “Childish romance, innit? I only stayed with that man so long because he reminded me so much of…” He paused again, this time longer as he calculated just how much he wanted to reveal. “Sure, I’ll be honest, I wasn’t sure if you still felt anything, but you’re at least still real.”

Ciel was listening to every word that left Alois’ lips, he truly was. With every pause, he eagerly waited for what was coming next, hanging onto each syllable. As Alois described what he would have done, even if Ciel was sickly or bedridden or on the verge of death, Ciel pictured every moment. Truth be told, he would give anything to die by this man’s side. Some might say he’s too young to be dwelling so much on the thought of death, but Ciel disagreed. He didn’t fear it.  
Relaxing slightly as he saw Alois’ guard falling, Ciel sat up more, leaning in Alois’ direction but not too closely. His heart sank. “He.. He reminded you of me.. didn’t he..” He spoke in a voice not much louder than a whisper.  
He looked down into his lap, shaking his head slightly as he rubbed his contract stained eye. “Our lives would completely crumble if we were found out. Even if anyone caught wind of our past, our lives would end. You realize that don’t you?” His voice raised slightly, becoming angry at the idea that Alois simply didn’t care. “What would we do then, Trancy? You obviously must have all the answers, since you’re so determined to pick things up where we left them nearly ten years ago. I couldn’t live with myself if-” He paused, swallowing hard as another crack of thunder and lightning made him wince. “If anything happened to you..”

Alois laughed darkly to himself, lacking any of the confidence he held as a teen. The years had made him uncertain of himself. Letting his guard fall as he felt the moment soften, he again gazed out the window.  
“He reminded me of you, yes. And at least with you, I know that your marriage isn’t a betrayal. Hiding me in closets, calling me a cousin, covering up our fights and letting him tell everyone it was a family home and not me trying to fix all our past-” He rambled, primarily to himself. “I have none of the answers, Phantomhive. Absolutely none of them. And yet, I’ve already ended my own life at least three times. I’ve still got to live my life even though I could end it again. And if yours ends with mine for the fourth, I’d call curtain and sneak us off stage.” He paused, nodding once to himself. “It’s not that I don’t care, it’s that I can’t die alone. I know I live recklessly, but regardless, I just can’t stay away for long.”  
There it was. Alois had made a web and yet, caught himself inside it instead.

Ciel felt a smile creeping onto his face, but suppressed it. As romantic as the young man’s words were, this wasn’t something to be happy about. This was scary and dangerous and secretive. He had sworn to himself once Alois left that he would seal away this chapter of his life and take it to his grave. And yet, here he was, face to face with the same man he once knew as a boy, just as in love and just as longing.  
And then, for the first time since they had run into each other in town, Ciel reached out to him. He gently laid his hand on top of the blond’s, still cautious and unsure. Every fiber of his being was telling him this was a bad idea, that going any further would trap him and send him spiraling once again, but he couldn’t stop himself.  
He lightly intertwined their fingers, his eyes till averted to his own lap. This felt so familiar yet so foreign. “I.. can’t afford to live recklessly, Trancy.” He said quietly, wishing he was able to give a different answer. “If things were different, if I didn’t have Lizzie to look out for, if..” There was more he wanted to say, but couldn’t find the words. Well, he knew the words he wanted to say; three dangerous words that should only be saved for when you really mean it, three words that he could never truly say to Lizzie; but they wouldn’t come.

Feeling the touch on his own hand, Alois felt a lump form in his throat. He knew it was wrong - it was a secret everywhere they were to go. They could cross the sea, they could drift away into the evenings together and never have a moment of truth again. However, Alois couldn’t remember the last time he’d told the truth to anyone aside from right now. Something about his ex-lover made him feel real unlike anything else. He turned to the other man, taking in just how beautiful he was in the moonlight. A smile crossed his lips without him even realizing it.  
“Lizzie doesn’t even know we’re both on borrowed time. You remember that, right? Passion is the only thing keeping us alive. And I know the only passion you’ve felt lately is rage. Isn’t this better?” He persuaded, closing the distance between them by only an inch or two. “I spent eight years wishing I was right here. Do you feel the same about her?” His smile grew soft, betraying the true warmth he felt for the other man in front of him. “We can keep the nights. Maybe the weekends. Holidays, here and there. I’ll play family friend just as I always do. I don’t have family pressuring me to marry. I can play along.”

His face grew hot as Alois moved closer, just inches away now. Ciel lightly squeezed his hand, eyes darting to his lips and then back to his eyes. He let out a breath.  
“I.. love Lizzie. I do. Not in the way she wants me to but, she’s important to me Trancy..” He shook his head lightly, his hair falling in front of his eyes. “I.. I thought you were never going to come back. I thought I’d never see you again, be here, like this, again.” He was rambling now, unable to keep his thoughts straight. Another flash of lightning made him jump, his own forehead now resting against Alois’, skin hot and flushed.  
How many nights over those eight years had he dreamt of this exact moment; the two of them, close and intertwined, basking in the moonlight under the soft silk covers of his bed, their bed, living as if no one else existed. He missed him. He didn’t know how much until now. Ciel would kill anyone who hurt Alois Trancy, he’d do it himself. The world was against them and he knew it, as painful as it was to admit.  
“I missed you so badly..” He blurted out, forgetting for a moment he wasn’t locked inside a dream. Ciel’s eyes widened slightly, looking up into the sky blue eyes of his lover, cheeks flushing as he contemplated if he had really spoken the words aloud.

Seizing the moment, the blonde raised a hand to rest against the back of his lover’s head, playing with his hair. Though he poised himself as put together and sure, in this moment he was the exact opposite as the thunder cracked outside. He was embarrassed at his own gentleness for this man, this dumb, cruel, and yet perfectly matched partner. It was as if the world existed outside of them and only outside of this room.  
“I know.” He whispered, “because I never went to bed without you somehow…” He trailed off, pulling the other in impossibly close, so much so that their lips brushed while he spoke, “so stupid, thinking he’d just be you one day…”  
With that, their lips met in reunion as if there were magnets that tied them together indefinitely. Somehow, he knew he’d always end up back here. Jean was but a continuation of _their_ story. A chapter left dusty in the attic as years went by and time passed, certainly. Jean was also a preview of what was to come in the future, but as he lost himself in this dream, that didn’t matter. It might matter tomorrow, or next week, but not right now. Minutes passed by, a pregnant pause that the world seemed to give them, just them. It was as if the universe was going to find them pauses in life so they could at least enjoy some of their lives happily. A moment lost in many, an absence of absence.  
If anyone saw them, they could both be killed. Alois knew that he would take that bullet, he would allow that wound. The only person he could ever fathom caring about in this way. Even Jean couldn’t have said that.

As the blond man’s lips met his own, every muscle in Ciel’s thin body seemed to release. He melted into the arms of his lover, his one hand refusing to let go of Alois’ while the other gently came up to rest on the other’s shoulder.  
A million images and memories flew through Ciel’s mind; every night they spent together in their youth, all lips and teeth and tongue and sickeningly sweet whispers of their love for one another. A secret kept by their servants and kept from the rest of the world. Never once in those eight years did Ciel feel at home in this monstrous manor, not even with Lizzie seated by his side. But here, in this kiss and this embrace, he felt nothing but comfort, he felt right.  
Pulling away slightly, the two caught their breath, still embracing one another and showing no signs of letting go. Ciel’s hand ran gently from Alois’ shoulder to the back of his neck, as if worried he would lean away and be gone forever once more.  
“Stay..” He whispered, all needy and wanting. “I dreamt of this. I looked to the sky and prayed to a God who had never answered me before. Don’t leave me now..” He shut his eyes, their noses rubbing together gently. “Stay..”

The man chuckled softly, allowing himself to be caught in this embrace despite everything that would normally cause him pause. Somehow, it did feel right to both of them. If the world were more allowing, he knew that this is how they were meant to live life. He nodded.  
“I’ll stay here tonight.” He confirmed. “And I’ll cover for us in the morning…” He sighed, pulling himself away to lay beside Ciel’s spot on the bed, never once breaking contact completely and keeping him by the hand. “I am really quite tired, y’know..” he admitted, closing his eyes and tugging on his lover’s arm to pull him into the crevice of his shoulder. “But don’t think it was God who finally answered us.” He opened his eyes slightly to look over at Ciel, “God wouldn’t torture us this way. We’re damned. But if we’re to sell ourselves to demons, I’ll live in sin.” He paused, smiling to himself. “And isn’t that just our brand of sick happiness anyway?”

Following his lead, Ciel laid back into the soft pillows of his bed, curling up against the curve of Alois’ side, his head resting on his chest. He listened to his heart beating hard, just as hard as his own, and he felt comforted.  
“I suppose you’re right,” He whispered. “As much as I hate admitting it.” He released a puff of air from his nose as he stifled a chuckle, tilting his head to look up at the man from his past and from his dreams. Ciel leaned up, holding his cheek in the palm of his hand as he directed him to another soft kiss, lingering for a moment to savor the taste of him again.  
In his gut, Ciel knew this couldn’t end well. Even if they were able to keep this up for the next twenty years, they would never be able to fully embrace each other without facing the disgusted wrath of others. But for now, just in this moment, none of that mattered. Whatever was coming, he would deal with it when it confronted him.  
His eyes closed as he laid his head back down without another word. He felt he could sleep for an eternity in Alois’ arms like this, and for now, that’s what he would do.

Finally satisfied with his return, the man pulled his lover close in the dark of the night. Silently, he knew it to be a fact that this would be all their lives - darkness, silence, and secrecy. Of course, he didn’t enjoy that fact either. It could end in flames. It could end in losing everything they had and they could never share a home or a life truly. One day, Ciel would marry another and the lies would have to find a way to cover them up again. Their whole life would be a web of lies and sneaky ploys, sneaking away from events just to share a kiss in celebration for life events. And one day, he’d need a new reason to spend the night in Ciel’s arms. Despite this, the blonde fell fast asleep beside the other, tied in the silence of the dark and forgetting the fog he’d fought to get there.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work of fiction is an original collaborative work between tumblr users @theearltrancy and @floweryfreelance. Its original format was in that of a roleplay, and has been edited to be a more cohesive story. This work was created on 11.10.20 and completed on 11.30.20.  
> Please consider following each author for more fictional works.  
> This work contains eventual sexual content and violence. These chapters will be marked, please read at your own discretion.

When the morning broke, the sun poured in through the same window that had concealed them just hours ago. Upon waking, the man’s ice blue eyes opened once again to reality. 

“Fuck..” He sighed, looking over at his lover, still asleep. He took up so much more of the bed than he remembered, taller but just as small as ever in his arms. Alois sat up, taking in the moments of the morning he had left in this bed. He listened for a moment, trying to take notice of any shuffling in the hall or downstairs. Good, he still had time.

Feeling his partner moving, Ciel stirred slightly, furrowing his brows as he protested the interruption of his deep sleep. His robe was a mess, loosely hanging onto his body now, as he peeled his arm off of Alois and turned to lay on his back. His dream continued, one of a large estate on the border of Austria, one that he and Alois shared alone.

A soft knock on the door seemed to echo through the room to Alois, but Ciel didn’t budge an inch. The door gently slid open, and a figure stepped inside, closing the door behind them. It was Sebastian, here with a damn hot towel for his master and a change of clothes draped over his arm. Upon seeing Alois cuddling his master, he couldn’t conceal the devilish smirk on his face, though his eyes remained calm and collected. They were at it again, as expected.

“Ah, good morning, Master Trancy.” He hummed, bowing his head slightly. “Breakfast will be ready soon. Would you like me to bring your butler to this room to dress and prepare you for the morning?” He offered, a faux kindness dripping from his words.

Alois looked over at the intrusion, then rubbing the sleep from his eyes. A small smile graced his face as he placed his hand on Ciel’s thigh, knowing the butler wouldn’t betray this secret if it harmed the man. At least the secret would live in this room, he thought as he looked back out the window. 

“I can do it myself.” He announced, deciding to begin wandering back to his room where he knew Claude suspected nothing. So long as he and Hannah continued to bury his suspicion under lies, he was safe. Resentment had grown between him and the butler over the years after having found a genuine connection. He was uncertain if the butler had any lingering suspicion of that fact alone. Alois didn’t hate him or hold regret, but there was a certain distance these days. Odd that at one time in his life, he thought the two held any love for one another themselves. He straightened his coat and stood, nodding at Sebastian in a shared understanding. As a man, they could hold that for one another. A truth had dissolved that rivalry long ago. 

“Au revoir, dog.” He remarked, passing the doorway and crossing the hall to his own room.

Sebastian smiled wider, nodding his head and stepping to the side as the young man passed through the door. He looked back to his own Earl, approaching the bed and gazing down at him. He brushed his hair from his face, admiring his features. “My dear young Master,” He chuckled softly. “What have you gotten yourself into now.”

The three nobles joined each other at the breakfast table again, sitting in the same spots they had claimed the night before. Lizzie was well rested and already full of energy, excitedly telling Alois about her plans for that day and the coming weekend.

“I’m going to visit my aunt in Ireland,” she remarked, smiling gleefully. “I wasn’t able to see her during my birthday, so I’m visiting now. I haven’t been to Ireland since I was a child. Oh, I just can’t wait to go back!” She chimed, then turning towards Ciel, and placing her hand on top of his. “My love, I do wish you would come with me.”

Ciel had maintained his calm and collected attitude over breakfast, as if having talked through things with Alois the night before left him feeling calmer. He gently rubbed his thumb over his fiance’s hand, looking at her. “I know, but you know I don’t travel well in the winter months,” He noted. “Besides, you deserve some time with your family.”

“I suppose so.” Lizzie sighed, though the excitement was still painted across her face. “Oh! And did you both see the sky this morning? Barely a cloud in sight,” The young woman beamed, gesturing towards the window. “It’s still awfully chilly, but it seems that the storm has passed. I hope you both slept well through the night.” She commented, looking to Alois for an answer. Ciel noticed this, glancing up at Alois with a look that said,  _ not a word _ .

Alois was filled with the same calm, resting his chin on his elbow at the table and listening with a light playfulness between the two. Despite the situation she posed, the two had always gotten along. They were similar in many rights and Alois couldn’t stop the moving train that was their engagement. Knowing this, he simply allowed himself to enjoy her company, a vastly different understanding than the lack he had had with Alice. 

At the comment, the man looked up out of the corner of his eye as a reflex more than anything, confirming that he wasn’t really alone in the feeling. Seeing his lover glancing back in that split-second, he allowed himself to let out a light laugh. 

“Quite well. Your home is always so welcoming, dear.” He remarked, knowing only two of the three would catch the nuance. “Don’t worry about this one. I’ve known him to adjust quite well to the winter weather.” He added, a playful suggestion if only one knew it. “I’m sure Ireland will treat you wonderfully!”

Elizabeth laughed lightly, smiling brightly at the two young men sitting with her. The three of them ate their breakfast peacefully, servants waiting nearby in case they were called upon. By the time they finished, Lizzie was the first to leave. Alois and Ciel stood on the front steps of the manor with their respective butlers, waving her goodbye only after Ciel planted a soft kiss on her hand before stepping back to his spot beside Alois. Her carriage slowly vanished from the property, not to be seen again until the following week.

Silence followed. No one really knew what to say. The largest threat was gone- he hated calling her that. There was no purer soul than Lizzie’s. But when it came to himself and the man standing beside him, that’s what she was. A threat.

“I’m sure you’d like a chance to unpack your things and rest.” Ciel remarked, speaking to Alois but not turning to face him, hands resting on top of his cane. “You’re... welcome to return for dinner tomorrow night if you’d like. I have some business with the royal family to attend to this afternoon.”

The Queen’s Dog’s way of saying,  _ please come back soon _ . 

The blonde cleared his throat, awkward as well. It had been so long since it had been the two of them - what did they talk about? Did Ciel have any lingering secrets of the last near-decade? He shifted his weight, unsure as a small child. 

“Of course.” He agreed, excited more than he would show. “My furniture and clothing must have shipped by now..” He said, turning to his lover and smiling playfully. He picked up Ciel’s left hand, raising it to his lips and placing a small kiss onto a gloved hand just as he’d done to Lizzie only minutes earlier. He caught the irony of it, and of course that’s why he’d done so. Finding humor in this, he dropped the other’s hand to return to his carriage and head home. 

The day was spent in relative peace as he found new places for his old things. The manor hadn’t fallen into disarray, luckily. He’d hired a team to take care of it in his absence so while it hadn’t grown dusty and decrepit, it had instead grown more and more empty. Putting it all back felt almost like losing, but he knew that wasn’t the case. He hung many of his old outfits from France, keeping only the ones that weren’t his ex-lover’s favorites. There were more than he wanted to admit to that he tossed into the fire, more still that ended up tossed over the balcony as a last slight. 

The night was lonelier than usual as he listened to each tick of the clock and felt every cold breeze, ordering all his servants and even his butler to leave him be. 

The next day passed in growing excitement. Alois decided on a silk frock coat ensemble, emerald green in color. He felt like a kid getting ready for some event, or a maiden preparing for a first outing with their beloved to be. However, he did not feel small. He pulled on a pair of heeled boots that made him stand ever so slightly straighter. With a last fluff of his hair, he took a deep breath and ordered Hannah to take him to the Phantomhive residence.

The day had passed just as slowly for the Earl Phantomhive, even though the past 24 hours had been mostly filled with work. Usually he would be exhausted by now, ready to sleep for a whole day to regain his strength, but not this time. His head fluttered with energy, knowing that Trancy would be arriving soon.

Sebastian helped pick out his attire for the evening; a velvety red ensemble with a white dress shirt underneath and a black string tie. He eyed himself in the mirror, though not for long, before turning to face Sebastian for any final touches. His butler lightly brushed a stray piece of hair from his face, and adjusted the patch over his young master’s eye, smiling softly at him. “You look very nice this evening, Master.” He said, sliding a few jeweled rings onto Ciel’s knuckles.

“You remember what I told you, Sebastian?” Ciel remarked, eyes glancing towards the window.

“Of course, sir.” Sebastian replied, standing straight. “You and our guest are not to be disturbed past dinner unless absolutely necessary.” A pause. “Do you intend to have him stay the night?” Sebastian couldn’t help but smirk, earning a glare from the bluenette man.

“I planned on extending the offer.” Ciel said flatly. “If he agrees to stay, leave my night clothes folded on the chair by the dresser. I’ll prepare myself for bed tonight, so you are dismissed after dinner.”

Sebastian bowed his head as he always did, bringing his right hand to his chest. “Of course, sir.”

Accompanied by his servants, The Phantomhive Earl stood on the steps of the manor as the visiting carriage arrived. It was only proper when greeting guests. His heart fluttered as they approached, feeling as if it had been weeks since he last saw his love. He couldn’t wait to be with him, completely alone, no risks and no fear for just one-

“Sir,” Sebastian suddenly interrupted his train of thought, leaning down as if to quietly say something to Ciel and Ciel only.

He leaned in slightly, furrowing his brows. “What is it?”

“Forgive me for not saying something sooner,” He began, his voice a bit more serious. “But if it is at all possible, I would like to arrange different sleeping arrangements for our guest’s butler while they are here, assuming they stay through the night. Preferably some arrangement where I’m able to keep a closer eye on him, with your permission of course.”

Ciel swallowed slightly, remembering Alois’ words to him just the other night.  _ Claude would kill you _ . “Yes,” he noted. “Do as you see fit.”

Sebastian nodded and stood straight, his welcoming smile returning to his face as the carriage stopped before the steps.

Just like when they were teens, when the carriage stopped a large grin graced the blonde’s face. He felt childish, mischievous, as if he were breaking social codes simply because he knew them. It felt like the excitement of a first love, without all the nerves. With a flair, he disembarked as soon as the carriage stopped. He all but bounded towards the other man, forgetting all the composure a man of his age and status was meant to have.

“Well, wow…” He remarked, at a loss for words entirely at the sight of his lover in red. A sight to behold, truly. His cheeks flushed red, trying to keep his composure though he knew he had no need to. “Trying to impress me?” Alois purred, placing his hands on his hips. Though composed, he was well shaken.

Ignoring the redness rising to his own cheeks Ciel rolled his eyes, letting out a short laugh. It was amusing to him how differently he began to behave when he knew they were safely alone. “It was all I had handy,” He lied playfully, knowing full well he chose this outfit with Sebastian’s help very carefully. “Come inside, dinner is waiting.” He began to turn back towards the manor, but paused for a moment in thought. After a beat of uncertainty, he reached back, gently looping his arm through Alois’ and ushering him into the manor as their servants convened.

Similarly to the last dinner they shared, the table was lavishly decorated with candles, fine China, and garland to celebrate the nearing winter holidays. The main course was oysters with champagne-vinegar Mignonette, accompanied by an aged Port wine. This was their dinner- no servants, no additional guests, just two young men sharing a table for an evening. 

If he were honest, having their arms looped together like that made his heart flutter. Betraying his feelings towards the matter, his face remained hot. Not to mention they hadn’t been alone like this in ages. All of it added to whatever magic was actually possible for them. The table was fully dressed in niceties as if this were actually something that required formalities. 

Sitting at his usual placement felt odd now, but he did so anyhow. Taking everything around him in, he noticed all the smaller details that had been put together in his absence, such as the decorations and the fact that they were the only two in the room. 

“So,” he began as Ciel entered the room, “You’re not trying to impress me… and yet, the holiday decorations are magically up in the one day of my absence.” He smirked playfully, feeling as if he’d really caught the other in a lie.

Ciel paused, absolutely refusing to be pinned for trying to ‘impress’ him. Sebastian had planned on bringing out the holiday decorations over the weekend, although Ciel was the one who pushed him to get it done before the arrival of their guest. It wasn’t to impress him, definitely not. He just didn’t want the manor looking unfinished, that’s all.

“We had planned on decorating during the weekend,” He said nonchalantly, looking up at him as he took a small sip of wine. “If I really wanted to impress you, I would have had a tree for Christmas set up already.” His tone was casual, but teasing- playful almost. It had been nearly a decade since they got to sit and talk so comfortably, although even back then, they didn’t have the life experience they had now. Perhaps it was good that they had been apart, as painful as it was. The two former boys were now grown men, successful and respected in society, both with new views of the world.

He cleared his mind with another bite of his dinner. “I hope the unpacking has been going well.” He noted, leaving the statement open for a response from the other young man.

Alois took a sip of his own wine, sitting back comfortably in his own seat. It was equal parts odd and comforting that his anxiety had waned. For this was an old love, reignited, and not the new one that they didn’t know how to handle when they were younger. They could easily be left alone as adults, society expecting them to wander off in their own paths anyway. Most social circles didn’t expect Alois to marry, considering him a womanizer. Boy, were they off the mark. 

“As well as it could, I suppose.” He answered, knowing what he’d been doing to his own French collections at home. He had all but set Jean himself ablaze. Though, that was still not completely out of the question. “I did some spring cleaning in winter.” He remarked simply instead. He took another slow sip, raising an eyebrow at the man across from him to suggest he’d been far more impulsive.

Ciel knew that look all too well. He smirked, taking a sip of his wine. He could see it now; piles of broken memories and shredded clothes, anything that reminded him of something he hated. As destructive as it was, Ciel had to admit that he admired his impulsiveness when it came to ridding himself of things that reminded him of painful things.

“I see,” He replied, the smirk still gracing his lips. “I ought to do a bit of spring cleaning myself. Some of our spare rooms have turned into storage rooms.”  _ Not the one Alois slept in. He never touched that one. _ The thought caused Ciel to pause before clearing his throat and continuing to pick at his dinner, bite by bite.

Ciel would’ve been right on the money. Piles of destruction, dutifully cleaned up by his staff, various small fires, photos turned to broken frames. While he was tossing those out, he briefly lamented that photography had become more popular. Oh, how uncertainly Jean had placed his arm around Alois’ waist.. Though, in all fairness, he never felt the same excitement even a glance from his lover gave him. Though he had aged out of many of his destructive tendencies, he still indulged where necessary. 

Alois caught the comment, ever quick as a whip. “Is my room still intact?” He asked idly, simple curiosity. He ate more dutifully, not nearly as distracted by his thoughts. Though he wondered, was it? The sheets, folded, and his clothes from those days hung in the closet; he’d started staying so often that he started to move in as his own home became a shell of his happiness and Claude became a symbol of that phase of loss. 

At his question Ciel visibly paused, remembering how much he hated that room after Alois left.

Upon hearing the news that Alois had left the country without a goodbye, Ciel couldn’t bring himself to enter that room. It held too many memories, too many sleepless nights but in the best of ways, too many arguments, too many embraces. Sometimes, even looking at the door as he passed by left a sinking feeling in his stomach. Still, his maid MeyRin was instructed to clean the room once a day, but without being noticeable. She would often clean in the early hours of the morning, as Ciel had a tendency to be awake late at night. With a duster and cloth and new sheets in her arms she would sneak into the bedroom, carefully tending to every nook and crevice, assuring that the room would look spotless. In fact, she was never instructed to stop, so it was likely she cleaned the room again that very same morning.

The young man swallowed the wine he had unknowingly been holding in his mouth, leaving the trance he was just in. “It should be.” He replied, his tongue lightly swiping over his own lips to collect the drop of wine that didn’t get swallowed. “After you went away, I left it as it was.”

Alois paused as well in this moment, catching the change in atmosphere. With a moment of pause, he put down his fork to examine the situation. So it had been untouched. Of course, this meant he had been missed to some extent. While he knew this to be true, Alois wasn’t one to hang onto words, but actions in his later age. He found words to be false too often. He couldn’t help the look of concern that furrowed his brow. 

“I’m sorry.” He admitted, possibly apologizing for the first time since they hated one another as children. He remembered all the petty fights, the hatred driven by the lies of demons. Ciel could be grateful that Alois was neither stupid nor evil, just emotionally raw. The blond shrunk forward from Claude, dutifully behind him in the room, remembering the things that led him to leave in the first place. He quickly discerned he would be out of earshot, even from the demon, if he spoke lowly enough. “I know you aren’t the target of my revenge, nor is your dog. But what he doesn’t know could’ve killed you.” 

Alois took a brief pause, straightening up in his chair and lifting the wine glass to his lips. “I’m back now…” He let a smile come back to his face, wiping his mouth with his thumb. “I’m glad I still have a room.”

Upon hearing Alois’ voice grow quieter, Ciel made an effort not to react to his words, though his hand lifting his fork did freeze for just a split second. So, that’s how things played out after he left. His uncovered eye flickered up towards Claude, immediately looking back down at his plate as he realized their eyes met. Perhaps Sebastian had a better reason for being protective than he thought.

_ Keep talking _ , he thought.

“You do, indeed.” Ciel commented, sitting up straight as he went for a sip of water. “On the topic of rooms,” he began. “You and your butler are welcome to stay here tonight, if you like. I can only imagine things at your manor may be a bit chaotic, with all of the unpacking.”

He perked up upon hearing the offer, his smile becoming more prominent. “It is at the moment.” He confirmed, knowing exactly where they’d end up every time. A spiral or a web, they were both wrapped in it. “So I suppose I should give the triplets room to clean.” He purred, picking up his fork. 

“Claude,” he barked, perking the demon’s attention only slightly, “Prepare my room with my things. And make it perfect.” With a nod, the demon was out of their sight, gone upstairs to settle the request. Alois had given Ciel a chance.

Seeing the other demon butler leave the room allowed Ciel to relax slightly, unclenching his jaw. It helped knowing that Sebastian was just a few feet behind him on his side of the table, but feeling that other demon staring him down made it difficult to enjoy his time with Alois.

Similarly to Alois, Ciel wondered which room they would ultimately end up in. There wasn’t exactly anyone to hide from, but they would likely play their traditional game of hide and seek, bidding each other goodnight and going to their respective rooms, only for one to eventually grow impatient and sneak into the other’s. The adrenaline of being the one to sneak, or being the one to wait, tasted like spice, waking up every one of their senses and keeping them alert.

“Sebastian.” Ciel suddenly beckoned, turning his head over his shoulder. “You mentioned different sleeping arrangements for our guest’s butler. See to it that he gets all of the help he needs preparing the bedroom, and then show him to his quarters for the night.”

Recalling their brief conversation earlier, Sebastian nodded his head, bowing slightly at the command. “Certainly, master.” And he left, the same way Claude did.

Now they were alone, finally. Sitting at a table with delicious food and wine in their bellies, faces illuminated by candlelight, and finally alone. No one listening, no one watching, no one lurking nearby to watch their every move. Ciel looked across the table at Alois for a moment, the eye contact only lasting long enough for his cheeks to tint themselves pink, before looking away again. Even after all this time, Ciel couldn’t help but feel shy around this young man.

The blond’s smile turned to mischief once the two butlers had gone. Alois had changed in his absence; he resented Claude these days. Once he learned just how much disdain the butler held for him as a host and Hannah’s truths regarding his past, the lies piled up like soot in a fireplace that had burned out. Oddly enough, if it weren’t for Ciel’s attempt to best him in duel and nearly killing him as a teen, he may have kept his delusions. 

Back then, he still felt attached to the demon, but as an adult it seemed as though perhaps the other man had missed many long arguments between the two. This would’ve been the truth - Claude and Alois constantly bickered. Alois now knew what he needed to do to complete the contract someday and hand over his life, but Claude wanted to bend the rules and the truth for an unnecessary target he simply wanted more. A mess, truly. His wings were cut off long ago, leaving a mutual resentment.

The man let out a long sigh, relief washing over him. He noticed when his lover’s face turned bright red, delighted he could still stir such a reaction even now. 

“I missed this dearly.” He noted, raising the rest of his glass in a mock toast and downing it.

A soft smile on his lips, Ciel mimicked the other’s gesture, raising his glass as well. “Who would have guessed that having a demon lingering behind you at every second of the day could be so exhausting,” He said sarcastically, taking a larger drink of his wine. “I know I have my own demon,” He began, cutting at his meal. “But I truly don’t know how you stay sane with that butler of yours around. He scares even me.” He admitted, hating that he was intimidated by Claude to a great degree. Though Ciel would likely never act on it, he occasionally did wonder what would happen if the two of them ordered their butlers to kill each other. A dark passing thought, that’s all.

He snickered darkly to himself, shaking his head in weariness. Clearly, being around Claude all of the time tired him out as much as everyone else. It was much like having an ex-husband who he had to stay with for ‘the sake of the kids’ or some nonsense. Except, his ex-husband in this case wanted him dead. 

“Yours cares for you.” he admitted, regretful, “Mine is my ex-lover that won’t stop sending letters.” He sighed, betraying as much of the truth as he wanted to in that moment. “He and I fell out a long time ago. Somehow, he still thinks it’s worth it to lie to me. Luckily, contracts apply to all parties.”

Ciel smirked slightly at the other’s comments, finding amusement in the metaphor.

The two of them continued their dinner in peace, making small talk about anything they could think of, really. After eight years of being apart, it was difficult to know what to talk about. Or rather, what was off limits. Ciel would likely talk about cases and work and Lizzie, Alois would probably only have his love affair to discuss, and the only things they had in common were their love for each other and blood thirsty demons watching their every movie. So, options were limited.

The two finished their desserts, feeling more relaxed now as they made their way to the drawing room. Still alone, they felt they could stand a bit closer to each other than usual, the knuckles of their hands brushing against one another as they stood before the fireplace.

“This feels like a dream.” Ciel admitted quietly, kneading the top of his cane in the palm of his other hand. “I must admit, I don’t feel scared at the moment. In fact, I feel calmer than I have in a long while.”

“Yes, me too.” He admitted, softly reaching his hand over to intwine their fingers together. “It’s been too long since things have been normal.” 

Alois raised their hands to his lips, placing a gentle kiss there. It truly had been too long. Those last few months in France consisted of arguments, violent ones at that. Jean had been no stranger to the other boy’s violent outbursts, even locking up some of his own valuables the week before he left. Alois held no regret in this fact, revelling in his own danger. Though, no one could match it as well as the man who had tried to kill him as a child. While stoic, Jean didn’t hold the same violent streak. 

“The past years really only made me think of you more.” He admitted, smiling to himself. “Nothing really lived up to the same rush.”

Ciel looked over at the feeling of the back of his hand being kissed, cheeks dusted with a light rosy color against his pale skin. The blond man beside him looked so beautiful like this, holding his hand like delicate China in front of a cozy fire.

“I wish I could say I didn’t spend those years trying to forget you.” He admitted, slightly ashamed at his own words. It was true, Ciel spent the last eight years trying to forget that chapter of his life, focusing solely on his work and Elizabeth. “It.. hurt too badly.” His voice was now hushed as he looked into the fire. “I wanted to forget you so I could be free from the pain. It may have worked someday, for all I know. But here we are.” A pleased smile lingered on his lips with his final words, thankful that he wasn’t able to forget his lover over the years. How dark things would have been.

Alois was saddened by the thought of what he must have caused by leaving. At the very least, the blonde got to play pretend. As much as he hated that feeling it left him with, it only could’ve been worse for the other one. Lacking any kind of subtlety, he pulled on Ciel’s hand, nearly crashing the two together but not quite. They now stood shoulder to shoulder, the gesture seeming to be some kind of small tantrum since Ciel hadn’t believed it was for his own good so far. He felt the need to prove himself. 

“I just wanted you safe.” He grumbled under his breath. Alois let out a small sigh. “Claude was starting to catch on that I figured out it wasn’t you.”

His eyes widened slightly as he was pulled, though he couldn’t help but smirk at the childish look on his lover’s face. Years may have gone by, but he could still be so childish at times. It was amusing.

Squeezing Alois’ hand softly, he stared back into the fire. “..I know. Well, I know that now.” He began, taking a subtle deep breath in through his nose. “I was angry at you for a long time, but not anymore. I understand why you left.” It was ultimately to save his life, and he knew that. After everything they had been through, the hate and love and violence and affection, Alois left him to protect him. Of course, he would have appreciated some warning, a letter explaining himself, but he knew deep down that it might have crossed Claude, putting them both in even more danger than before.

Ciel turned towards Alois, reaching up to cup his cheek, planting a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. “You were protecting me. Us, really. Thank you.”

Alois allowed himself to lean into the other’s hand ever so slightly, letting the tension go. A soft smile graced his lips, his face turning pink at the gentleness of it all. It had been too long since he’d felt a gentle kind of love. Even his most recent affair relied on passion and violence. The two here had a long past of trying to kill one another, best one another intellectually, a long game of chess that ended in a stalemate. In that stalemate is where they resided long-term. 

Letting go of his hand, Alois sauntered over to the nearby chair and slumped down in it, his long legs reaching out to the fire. It was as if this was his first break in years, and in a way, it was. Things were as normal as they could be for the gentleman, the constant threat of his own death just background noise. 

“I’m not stupid.” He expressed, his resentment for Claude seeping out, “Hannah told me years ago what really happened. Turns out I was chasing appreciation that was always yours. And to be used as a pawn to bring down your butler so he could finish some stupid revenge himself-” Alois rolled his eyes, much of his true anger having dissipated over the years into constant annoyance. “I’m a sinner, not a pawn.”

Ciel eyed him as he stretched out in the chair, leaning into his cane a bit as he took in the picture before him like it was a painting in a museum. Beautiful and vulnerable and  _ his _ .

“That makes two of us.” Ciel sighed, gazing back into the fire. “It’s rather poetic, isn’t it? This whole.. story of ours.” He approached Alois in the arm chair, perching himself comfortably on the arm. Something in him wanted to get as much as he could out of this moment- no one was around to see them or catch them standing too close or showing affection. He wanted to be as close to him as he could for as long as he could, knowing this night would eventually end and reality would resume.

The comment brought a smile back to Alois’ face as the shadows of the fire danced on his face. He supposed it was rather poetic. He spent his whole life looking for appreciation and love, only to find it in the arms of the one who hated him most, the one who once stabbed through his abdomen and left him to die. In fact, it could even be funny. Had he not fixated on this boy after that incident, they never would have found common ground. Lies turn even the sweetest treats sour. 

Absentmindedly, he put his arm around the small of his lover’s back. As men, they were tired of the years prying them from things that made them truly happy. There would at least be nights now where they could share that together, hang up their coats and shelve the lies and sins that clouded their lives. By the warm fire and under the cover of encroaching darkness, their false lives and niceties could sleep. 

“Only because you tried to kill me.” He recounted in a playful tone, “But unlike everyone else, you couldn’t properly get rid of me. You know I love the fight,”

Ciel sat up a bit straighter as Alois wrapped his arm around him, the affection unfamiliar after all this time. The only person to really ever touch him this way was Alois. Another thing he missed dearly.

At his comment Ciel couldn’t help but smirk, letting out a dark chuckle. “I couldn’t get rid of you even if I wanted to.” He leaned a bit closer, their faces only inches apart. By now, most of the guilt he felt from harming him back then had subsided, as both of them had had their eyes open since then. “You’re like a stray cat who won’t leave because I keep feeding you.” He joked, secretly hoping he could push a button or two. He missed their little games and teasing banter, too.

He allowed a light laugh to pass his lips, inching ever closer to close their distance and tightening his grip around the other’s waist as he did so. “Meow.” He whispered, equal parts playful and eager. If only every moment could be this light. He wondered to himself if anything had ever matched up quite the way they did; did Lizzie and Ciel ever play like this? And in his own life, had he ever played with Jean without feeling regret? 

“You, feeding a stray cat though?” He remarked, leaning in ever more so their lips were now brushing together as he spoke. “Unsightly. You’re allergic.” 

At that perfect moment, a knock was heard on the door. They had forgotten all about their butlers and the outside world, being rattled back to reality. Alois pulled back, rolling his eyes but not loosening his grip on the other’s waist. “I’m going to start leaving him at home. Might buy a kennel.”

Ciel nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of the knocking, his face beet red and chest pounding. He didn’t care whose butler it was interrupting them, curse them  _ both _ .

Turning slightly on the arm of the chair, still well aware of the arm around his waist, he faced the door and cleared his throat. “Y-Yes, come in.” He instructed, folding his hands on top of his cane that rested against his knees.

The door slowly opened, revealing both of the butlers standing straight as ever. Sebastian stood closest to the door, though Claude could be seen just a few feet behind him.

“Master,” Sebastian began, smiling sweetly as ever. “I beg your pardon for the interruption. I simply wanted to notify you that both of your rooms are ready. I’ll be showing our guest’s butler to his new sleeping arrangements.”

“I still don’t quite understand the sudden need for a change..” Claude muttered to Sebastian, though he was just loud enough to be heard by the two young Earls. His squinted eyes observed the closeness of the two men, narrowing his eyes further.

Sebastian grinned a bit wider. “It’s only for your convenience.” The words oozed from his mouth, coated with malice. Lord, anyone could see these two in the same room and know they despised each other without them ever needing to speak.

“Good.” Ciel interjected, annoyed by the banter between the demons. Just the mere presence of Claude made the hair on the back of his neck stand straight. “Show him to his quarters for the night then. We’ll call if we need anything else. Trancy?” He shifted his attention to the young man still seated beside him. “You look tired. Perhaps we should turn in for the night.” He teased, both of them knowing full well this wouldn’t be the last they’d see of each other before morning.

Alois glared daggers at Claude for his comment, the tension between the two palpable whenever they were in a room together. It was once only Ciel or Sebastian that could elicit that reaction from him, but the tables had turned so heavily over the many passing years. While he said nothing aloud, he might as well have loudly insulted the other. For once, Sebastian and Alois were on the same side. 

Sebastian’s comment seemed to wake him from his hate spiral. “I suppose it is good timing.” He acknowledged, but only because he knew the sooner they went to their own rooms, the sooner they could sneak out and share one. The blonde was smug, communicating with his lover only by sliding his hand slightly down his back. It may have gone completely unnoticed if it hadn’t wrinkled the clothing covering it. A silent, ‘I’ll be back later.’ 

Giving Ciel a chance to steady himself on the arm of the chair, the man rose. His heeled boots echoed down the hall as he followed his butler to his room, allowing him to enter with him momentarily only to help him with his clothing.

Ciel let out a small sigh as he watched Alois leave with his butler, getting the feeling Claude was about to get a talking to. The comment he made to Sebastian even surprised him- it was so unlike these butlers, even as demons, to talk back that way. Perhaps that just showed the reality of Claude’s distaste for him.

Standing from the arm of the chair, Ciel turned to Sebastian, staring at him a moment before speaking. “Did he give you any trouble?” He asked, genuinely curious.

Sebastian shook his head, that smile ever present on his lips. “No, master. He asked questions, yes, but we had a little talk and sorted everything out.”

Ciel nodded, spinning the top of his cane in his fingers. “Good. Keep an eye on him this evening.” He instructed, his voice serious. “And as I said before, do not disturb me until morning unless it is something urgent.”

“Of course, master. Do you wish for me to prepare you for bed?” Sebastian inquired, though the tone in his voice indicated that he, too, knew his Earl wouldn’t remain in his room throughout the night.

This earned a side glare from Ciel, not finding the teasing funny. “No,” he said flatly. “I’ll do it myself. You may retire for the night, but keep an eye on that butler.”

“Yes, master.”


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work of fiction is an original collaborative work between tumblr users @theearltrancy and @floweryfreelance. Its original format was in that of a roleplay, and has been edited to be a more cohesive story. This work was created on 11.10.20 and completed on 11.30.20.  
> Please consider following each author for more fictional works.  
> This work contains eventual sexual content and violence. These chapters will be marked, please read at your own discretion.  
> *THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SEXUAL CONTENT.

Ciel made his way up the grand staircase in the center of the foyer, admiring paintings on the walls as he made his way down the hallway towards his own bedroom. As he walked, growing closer and closer to Alois’ old spare room, he heard voices. Ah, he must have been right. That cocky demon butler of his must be getting a stern talking to. He smirked.

Feeling too mature to stand with his ear against the door, Ciel simply slowed his walking pace, tuning his ear just in case he was able to pick up anything being said inside the room. And what he heard, well, it certainly didn’t sound pleasant.

Inside the room was Alois’ voice quickly reaching a louder and louder pitch. He once saved his anger for Hannah, but the roles had reversed now, the man’s now deeper voice rattling things in the room. He could feel himself getting too heated, but the demon couldn’t feel pain; he was keenly aware. 

“No, I don’t care, you absolute wretch!” He screamed, taking his own shoe from earlier and tossing it at the butler’s head. He dodged, the object smacking the wall behind him. “I will do things in my own time, do you understand? I will not be a pawn for your f*cking problems anymore! Not tonight, not ever!” 

Claude’s response was low and threatening, almost as if he were still disciplining a child. In fact, he seemed to think that’s exactly all he was doing. The dismissive attitude only angered him more. “Your Highness… If you do not have the drive to take that man from that wretched butler, you will only be stuck with me longer. It is beneficial for us both that you complete your contract, and that means you must take the boy.”

“For you! Always for you! I signed that contract thinking I would get something out of it! Maybe a companion, for god’s sake!” Alois screeched, knowing now he could be heard from outside of the room. “But all you’ve done is lie to and cheat me! I wanted you to take _ me _ !” 

“You know I cannot do that until you find a way to take  _ him _ . Even if you isolate him, I can leave. I can make it a pleasurable experience for you.” 

“But that’s not what you really want, is it?” The man retorted, cooling into sass. “Get the hell out of here. And take your god damn attitude too. That’s an ORDER.” 

The door opened moments later, revealing an emotionless Claude if not slightly annoyed, and a simply vicious Alois with his arms crossed on his chest. The demon nodded at Ciel as if nothing had happened, but a peek in the room would show that was not the case. The blonde had been throwing all his things around, tearing his clothes from the closet onto the floor now, a flurry of a man. Though grown now, it was at times as if all he had grown was taller.

Ciel couldn’t mask his searing glare at the butler as he walked past, perhaps partially compensating for just how shaken he felt after hearing their words, particularly Claude’s. He really would give anything to just see him dead, wouldn’t he? As is the nature of such a contract.

Seeing Alois in this fragile state, knowing he hadn’t been noticed quite yet, he quietly stepped into the room, looking at the clothes on the floor. “..You’ve made a mess.” He noted, bending down to pick up a deep purple coat that had been crumpled on the floor. “Did you notice?” He inquired, looking up at the distressed blond man before him. “These clothes, they’re yours from all those years ago. I left them.” He inspected the sleeves. “I’m frankly surprised there aren’t more moth holes.”

In his experience, Ciel knew the best way to approach Alois during these fits of rage was calmly. In fact, his presence typically helped to calm him down regardless.It pained him to see him like this. In the past, he found his tantrums childish and annoying, but since growing to understand him, they just hurt to see. However, he always kept a slight distance until he could tell if he was still in the heat of the moment. And so, Ciel stood still, gently holding the small boy’s coat in his hand while looking at his love.

He took a step closer, standing so that his leg was just brushing Alois’ arm as he sat on the ground. He crouched beside him, still holding the purple coat. His mind wandered, trying to find the right words to say.

“..I.. lied earlier.” Ciel admitted, rubbing the coat fabric between his thumb and forefinger. “I didn’t leave this room untouched. I had it cleaned everyday.” It was embarrassing to admit, he felt, but he wanted to ground Alois. He wanted to remind him he was wanted and loved and desired. He could withstand feeling embarrassed for a minute or two. “The maid dusted everyday, changed the sheets once a week. And by the looks of it, kept your old clothes ironed. How she did all that everyday, I don’t know.”

He stood once again, looking around the room he hadn’t stepped foot into in eight long years. It truly looked as though it was in present use, not a speck of dust or a single stain anywhere to be found.  _ Impressive _ , he thought to himself. “I remember sneaking in here.” Ciel couldn’t help but smile softly. “On the nights when you were too stubborn to come to my room, and waited here until I grew impatient enough to sneak into yours.” 

The thought brought a small smile to the man’s face, though he betrayed none of that information to the other. He did lift his head, though, taking a look around at the hell he had created. Though his anger had once again caused destruction, he couldn’t help but notice the man was correct - the room was dusted, polished, and comfortable. His old clothing was flawlessly ironed, and he remembered that before he’d been triggered, it was in fact all folded and hung just the way it was when he was a teen. He let some of the tension in his body go, taking one hand from his head to rest his arm on his knee. 

“We took turns.” He recalled, still breathing heavily but coming back to the room slowly, “I liked to play. You made it easy.” He looked his lover in the eyes. “We were so small.” The man sighed, looking away to the clothes on the floor surrounding him, noting he had also made a small dent in the wall behind them with his heel. 

_ Note to self. Aim better next time. _

“We did play.” Ciel agreed, standing and walking to the wardrobe, hanging the purple coat back in the closet. The remaining clothes could be taken care of in the morning, as they were the least of his concerns. The white night clothes set out on the bed caught his eye, though upon closer inspection, he noticed there were two pairs. He smirked,  _ that idiot _ , he thought, knowing Sebastian must have thought it would be amusing to prepare for what they all knew would happen.

Turning back to Alois, he held out his hand and leaned his cane against the wardrobe. “Here now, stand up. We don’t have our  _ butlers  _ to dress us,” he said sarcastically. “But we can’t sleep in our dinner attire.”

Smiling gently to himself now, Alois took another deep breath and stood up, dusting himself off. He bit his lip, planning his next move, for they were finally truly alone. The man took a good few solid steps towards the other until they were impossibly close. The sudden movement pressed his lover against the closed door of the closet, placing an arm on the other side so that the man couldn’t escape him. 

“I suppose we can’t.” He acknowledged, placing his free hand under the other’s chin. This being the first time since they were young teenagers, he added, “Hm, seems I’m still taller than you.” 

If there were any way he knew how to transition out of an intense emotion, it was straight through another one - lust. Even as an adult, he only had three modes - indifferent, violent, and reveling in sin. 

“So. Dress me.” He ordered.

The cool of the wood door against his back counteracted the heat filling his body. Eight years had passed since he was spoken to like this, touched like this. The Earl honestly thought he would never experience anything like it again, so long as he lived.

His heart pounded in the chamber of his chest, and he wondered if the other man could feel it too. His jaw shifted as he swallowed hard, feeling the warm fingers of his lover caressing his chin. Ciel melted for him, just like he always did. “Don’t order me around..” he protested, the tone of his voice eager and excited but attempting to hide behind a disguise of stubbornness.

Without taking his eyes off of him, Ciel cautiously reached up to Alois’ chest, grasping the buttons of his overcoat and beginning to undo them. His hands visibly shook and he cursed himself for it, it was as if it were the first time all over again. 

“And if I do?” He purred, holding control over himself while he leaned in to press a small kiss on Ciel’s earlobe. His whole body pulled closer, closing even more distance between the two. Leaving just enough space for the buttons to come undone, he leaned back once they were loose, shrugging the coat off to the floor along with his other things. The size difference was notable when the two coats were side by side, Alois now pushing 6′ tall himself. 

In response, he reached back out to his lover’s chest, pulling button after button open. The pale skin underneath caught the moonlight like a modern day Adonis. Just as Aphrodite had done long ago, he would sacrifice his sanity to spend only several nights a year with him if it came to it. Now there was definition to his chest - not quite muscle, but the man wasn’t soft either. Alois smiled mischievously, ducking in for a deep kiss on the lips with no hesitation. 

While the other was nervous and shaky, the taller man was confident and needy. He’d bided his time pretending that positions like this were with his fantasy to begin with. Now that it really was the one he imagined most nights, he’d waste no time. He’d push the subject and get his way - for once, just for once.

“Y..You..” A sad attempt at a protest. He was helpless at this point, as he always was when they played this game. Shuddered breaths escaped Ciel’s lips, his throat and hands and legs beginning to throb with the violent beating of his heart. Hardly even noticing his own buttons being undone, he couldn’t help but stare at the unfamiliar physique of his partner, still just as pale and soft and smelling of lavender, but larger. Of course, he was used to that aspect, as Alois had always had the advantage when it came to physical size. Another reminder they were men now.

A cool breeze crossed his chest as button after button was opened, and he trailed his fingertips down his lover’s abdomen, touching him as if he was still unsure if he was really there. His fingers kept moving until they reached a new texture, his eyes following. A scar.  _ The  _ scar. His thumb gently ran across it, memories of that awful night haunting his memory again.

A distraction. He wanted a distraction. This moment was too sweet to be ruined by those nightmares. Ciel’s hand darted back up Alois’ body, wrapping around the back of his neck and pulling him back in for a deeply passionate kiss, the feeling of his lips on his own bringing him back to the present moment.

Noticing his pause, Alois was pulled out of the moment for a split-second, eyes following the other’s to the raggedly-healed wound on his abdomen. Once upon a time, it nearly killed him. It took months to seal up to the point he would no longer vomit blood. Yet, it served as a reminder to tie the two together. The man had made peace with it, never answering Jean honestly when he asked about it. A fight with a carriage, maybe he’d fallen, sometimes he changed his lie to keep it fresh in his mind. Little did he know about the beautifully composed violent blue boy in London. 

Though the thought didn’t last long until he was to be wrapped in another kiss. The two lost themselves in the texture of the other’s lips, the newfound fullness and softness. For a moment, the blonde forgot that for the other, it had been years since he felt this much passion, for he knew his lover would only accept a partner that could destroy him and build him back up in one night; a challenging love. The night allowed for this kind of depraved waltz. 

Shrugging off his own shirt, he pulled off the necktie he’d chosen for that day, pulling it behind Ciel’s neck and quickly grabbing it tight - cutting off breath for a split-second. The gasp for air would last long enough to make the other slightly dizzy, almost a drunk sort of feeling. While Ciel had been saving himself for marriage, Alois had been learning new tricks in Paris.

His breath caught in his throat as his neck was pulled forward slightly, his eyes widening at the unfamiliar and sudden sensation. He liked it. His hands grabbed tightly at his lover’s shoulders, his body’s initial reaction being to fight for air, until he relaxed and leaned into the lightheaded feeling. As the tightness of the tie around his neck loosened he gasped for breath, heat pooling in his lower stomach.

Ciel’s hand ran up the back of Alois’ neck, lightly entangling itself in the silky blond hair and tugging, all needy and wanting. It was during moments like these that Ciel was thankful there wasn’t a mirror nearby, as he’d never be able to forgive himself for how he looked now- desperate and weak, two traits he prided himself on seldom exhibiting. Meanwhile, his free hand worked its way down to the other’s trousers, his subconscious growing impatient.

A devilish smile crossed the man’s face, a glint of mischief in his eyes as he felt his lover’s hand stray from his chest. In reaction, the blonde grabbed the other by the hips, fingers hooking through the belt loops. Using this guide, he swung Ciel to the other side and walked him back to the bed in the center of the room. 

The soft silk accepted the two into its folds as Alois pressed him down into it, following on top in a straddle. Oh, how long it had been since he had looked down at the real version of this scene rather than the discount. It even made the space worth it somehow, made the taste sweeter. Reaching down to finish undoing all the remaining buttons on his lover’s chest, he took a second to trace the new body. He was certainly well-built, and knowing how many sweets the other indulged in, it made him wonder exactly where it came from. Of course, this matched his fantasy even more so and lit a fire within him.

“I’ve missed the real thing..” He whispered, leaning down to place a lengthy kiss on the other’s exposed collarbone. “You’re worth it.”

Ciel’s hands instinctively fell against the pillows on either side of his head as he laid back, his body remembering how many times he had been pinned down in this position to be toyed with by his lover. His chest rose and fell as he took shallow, nervous breaths, his spine arching ever so slightly as he felt the other’s lips against his collarbone.

This was bliss, it had to be. For eight years he spent every night alone, many of those nights sleepless as Alois’ face appeared behind his eyelids. And yet, here he was. Here they were, tangled in each other’s arms and peppering each other with kisses and nips, their bodies illuminated by a sliver of moonlight shining through the curtains. If he had ever wanted a painting of anything, it would be this.

A hand came up to cradle Alois’ head as he kissed his chest, his other hand sliding up his lover’s thigh eagerly and brushing his fingertips just underneath the hem of his trousers. Lifting Alois’ head so his eyes met his own, he tugged lightly on the fabric of his pants. “Off.”

“Hm,” Alois snickered quietly, smiling against the other’s skin. He’d forgotten all about the past few weeks, even the dent he’d just made in the wall. The man leaned back to stand and undid his belt, allowing the layer to fall to the floor. All that remained now was a pair of not-so-modest undergarments and his socks, illuminated by the moonlight. 

“Since you want to be so demanding,” He purred, leaning back in to speak right against the other’s neck. “You too, coward.” 

The two were as close to heaven as they could ever get. Living in sin left one with only so many options - sink to the bottom, or find a way out. Being that they’d already sold their souls, this love was to be their only glimpse of it. That it was; both were old enough to savor it as such, hardened by the world outside this room. Yet, they were still young enough to allow some recklessness into their doomed sorts of lives. Knowing this fact, Alois rolled off his lover, now sitting on the edge of the bed and gesturing.  _ Up. _

He would never admit it aloud, or maybe even to himself, but Alois was more than likely the only person who could order him around, and have it arouse him. His eyes watched intently as his partner continued to undress, noting the way his fingers methodically moved, the way his stomach and chest expanded with every breath; it was exhilarating.

Hearing the command, Ciel moved in carefully calculated movements, as if he could be pounced on at any moment. He stood up, dropping his unbuttoned shirt to the floor before moving onto his own trousers. Button by button, the fabric loosened before pooling around his ankles. He stepped out of them, his hands on Alois’ shoulders for balance. And there he stood, nearly naked and completely vulnerable for the first time in nearly a decade.

The bluenette moved as if leaning in for another kiss but hesitated, leaning away again. He reached behind his own head, grabbing the string of his eye patch between his thumb and forefingers, pulling until it loosened and fell to the floor.  _ There _ , he thought,  _ off _ .

Surprised by the sight of both eyes, the man’s eyes locked with the other’s. A soft sound of “oh, love…” escaped his lips, his hand moving up the side of Ciel’s skull to gently hold him there. He took a moment to gaze into both eyes, having all but forgotten he’d only ever seen the one. Even as teens, Ciel was always cautious about how much of himself he revealed even when completely alone. Though he knew the contract resided there, it never really dawned on him that he had never  _ seen _ it. Recognizing how raw this moment was, the man leaned back until he was flat against the bed, other hand coming up to trace along his partner’s chest. 

It was only moments before he pulled him back in for a deep kiss, filled now with all the longing and pining of eight full years. For a moment, it crossed his mind that this man deserved better from him- he always had. He deserved all his raw moments, anger and joy, sickness and health, fear and confidence. Alois wished he could find a way to give that all to him. If only there were a way, Alois would risk it all. Maybe someday they could play dead and run away, have Sebastian kill Claude, write Lizzie a nice letter - something about market study in the States. 

At least they could sail away in these sheets for the night, he thought. Before he realized it, his hands had travelled to his lover’s waist, pulling them so close together that it would require something earth-shattering to pull them away. His mind was scattered, but his body fell into old patterns, finding it completely impossible not to touch the other. Suddenly, every moment he spent with his ex-lover felt like a paperback book that ended on a cliffhanger- so close to satisfying, but nothing compared to a happy ending.

Vulnerability was surprisingly becoming on Ciel; as someone who prided himself on being completely untouchable both emotionally and physically, he appeared most beautiful in this state, especially in the eyes of his lover. He rubbed his eye slightly, trying to regain the balanced sight of two eyes he had been lacking for a whole day. He wanted to see Alois clearly.

Pulled back in for a deep kiss, Ciel climbed forward, straddling the blond man underneath him with his arms wrapped underneath his neck, pulling them impossibly close. He hummed as their hips ground against one another, as he brought one hand around to lightly trace his thumb across Alois’ bottom lip.

“Let me see yours..” He whispered, his digit pulling down lightly on his lip and brushing against his bottom teeth. The other Earl’s contract seal was not new to him- he had seen it before a number of times, but he had nearly forgotten what it looked like now, the image just a fuzzy memory buried in his mind. This thing, this stupidly complicated thing, was one of the few things that they felt tied them together.

Smiling with his teeth, a rare sight in and of itself, the man was glad he could share this with someone. Jean knew nothing of his contract, making efforts to hide his contract from the lover of his. It was a deep secret once he left the city, one he planned to take to his grave after Claude gutted him for his soul. It was a secret he shared with the man in front of him and in a way, the shared tragedy made him feel like he could be all of himself without effort. 

He allowed his tongue to stick out of his mouth, the inactive pattern still visible despite its faded nature. It spoke to the strength of the bond he held with his demon, or lack thereof. Though it looked like a burn mark when it wasn’t on display, it was still visible. Alois searched his lover’s eyes for approval, insecurity bleeding through his expression.

Sensing his partner’s vulnerability his lips curled into some mixture of a smile and a smirk, enjoying the look on his face though trying to remain comforting. “Beautiful..” he whispered, fingers grasping Alois’ jaw to pull him into another kiss. This kiss was backed with more fire, all teeth and tongue as they savored the taste and texture of one another.

The fire in his belly growing hotter, he found himself subconsciously rocking his hips against the other’s, searching desperately for some sort of friction to release the knot he felt forming deep inside him. His neediness was showing as he pulled down on his partner’s undergarments, annoyed by the thin pieces of fabric still keeping them even remotely decent. “These too..” he whined, clearing his throat as he felt embarrassment wash over him at the sound of his own voice. “Off..”

A light laugh left his lips, finding the desperation completely hilarious. Alois pushed his lover off eagerly, shifting his legs to get the undergarment off and allowing it to fall to the floor. He swiftly pulled the other man back in for a deep kiss, rolling the two over so that he could position himself on top and straddle the other. Now completely nude, the moonlight caught his skin in his moment of pause. 

“You’re so demanding…” He purred, leaning back in and winding a hand behind the other’s head. He locked his fingers in the denim hair, briefly eliciting a light amount of pain. “Though, you’ve been saving yourself.” He added, raising an eyebrow to challenge him. He’d missed just how needy his lover got with him, circumstance leading them to secrecy, and him being the only man unafraid to break that barrier - the only man who held this secret with him.

A soft whine left his lips as his head was pulled back, his Adam’s apple protruding from his throat as his neck arched. His face contorted slightly as he gazed up at the controlling man, brows furrowed and eyes slightly widened as his face flushed a deep rosy red.

He would be lying to himself if he tried to claim he wasn’t at least a bit nervous, as excited as he was. It had been nearly a decade since he had been in this position, this situation, and it had his nerves running rampant. Considering he still wasn’t married, he really hadn’t been physically intimate with another person since he was a young teen, when they experimented with each other’s bodies and memorized every curve and mark.

Ciel swallowed hard, the action difficult with the angle of his neck. “Eight years.. yes..” he breathed, his hands gently running up Alois’ thighs, dangerously close to his core but refusing to touch it. As desperate as he appeared, he liked to play games with him, too.

“Mm…” He trailed, tensing at the touch and biting his lip to stay calm as possible. “All for me, then..” He hummed. He was getting closer to losing his mind in the intimacy, whole body heating up. While he hadn’t had a lack of intimacy by any means, none of it was anything honest. He’d used his ex-lover as a means to an end, a way to spend those eight years not so alone. None of it was true pleasure. 

But this, this most certainly was just that. It was as if he hadn’t been touched in years either, never as nervous with another as he was with Ciel. The man knew every curve and spot by muscle memory, but his passion clouded his mind, rendered just as useless.

Removing his hand from the back of Ciel’s head, he grabbed the hand that was wandering near his thighs. Alois guided it, allowing it to rest directly beside his member, leaving the choice still ever open. Besides, his own hands had become shaky, his eyes having trouble staying open. “Please…” He whispered, opening his eyes for a second to reveal a pleading expression.

Ciel’s lips parted and hung open, his eyes never leaving Alois’ as he carefully wrapped his palm around the other’s member, grasping it gently. He watched his face for a change in expression, enjoying teasing his lover even as he laid underneath him, powerless.

Truth be told, Ciel would stay in this moment for all eternity if he could. Just the two of them; bodies bare and vulnerable, entangled in each other’s arms and legs twisted around one another, just like this forever.

Despite his current position, he couldn’t help but feel a rush of confidence as he touched the other man, his hand slowly beginning to move back and forth, his movements triggered by muscle memory. He grinned, looking up at Alois through half lidded eyes. “I so love that face you make..” He commented, his free hand running up and down Alois’ chest and stomach. “The same face, only older..” His hand squeezed slightly around the other’s member, hoping to provoke a more entertaining reaction from his partner.

Upon the contact, the blonde man gasped loudly, clapping a hand over his mouth in embarassment. Although they were entirely alone, it had been a long time since he’d felt a genuine surge of passion and the sudden vocalization shocked even himself.  _ Confident, my love.  _

_“Ah-”_ he attempted, his breath catching, God, it was so hard to speak when handling actual pleasure. His entire body was so hot. “I’ll need to relearn you…” He trailed, eyes closing again, “all over again…” He admitted, his memory of Paris disappearing as the evening turned to deep blue night. 

Like the other, he wished for the time to just freeze here. They were so safe under the cover of night, and they didn’t have to lie to the world here. The blonde could be open with the other man underneath him, mouths and sins combining.

Ciel’s face subconsciously mimicked the other’s, his mouth slightly agape as he felt his lover harden under his touch. He continued stroking softly, tracing his thumb ever so gently around the tip.

“Then start studying..” he whispered, his voice breathy and longing. The knot in his stomach grew tighter and hotter, the friction between the two of them arousing himself as well. “You have a lot of catching up to do.” His cockiness was showing, made even more obvious by the smirk spreading across his lips like melted butter. Ciel spoke teasingly as if he himself didn’t have to relearn his lover’s body.

But his teasing didn’t stop there. He swiftly removed his hand from Alois’ member, placing both of his hands by either side of his head against the mattress. Alois got a taste, now it was his turn. And he would lay here until he got it. Clearly it hadn’t taken long for the two of them to fall back into the passionate and competitive, also quite stubborn, nature of their games.

“Fuck you…” He breathed, sending his lover a dagger of a glare. The man crawled off the bed at this moment, sliding down to the ground on his knees. He didn’t wait for the other man to reposition, but instead chose to grab both legs and tug him closer to the edge of the bed. 

The blonde licked his lips, a glimpse of his contract seal showing as he did so, leaning in now to place his lover’s member in his own mouth. Things like this held double-meaning for him, only ever soiling his seal for the other man. He and Jean’s love life was still a mystery to both; Alois lived in a daze then, and feeling alive at all came at a price. One thing could be said about it, however - Alois never allowed anyone else to touch his tongue in such a way. 

He worked the other to a fever pitch, he himself getting lost as well. _ Lesson one _ , he thought,  _ one of many from here on out.  _ The idea that the other was still engaged made him smile, knowing that he was able to prove his own worth on his knees.

A surprised gasp left him as he was pulled, moving to sit up on his elbows to watch Alois sink down to the ground before him.  _ A pretty sight _ , he thought, though the devilish smirk on his face was quickly wiped away as soon as he felt his mouth on him. His right hand immediately went to the blond’s hair, gripping tightly as his left hand twisted itself in the sheets. His head, suddenly heavy, fell back against the mattress, a whimpering moan pouring from his lips.

Before his eyes, the other man could see his stomach muscles twitching and his chest heaving with heavy breaths as his mind frantically tried to make sense of this long forgotten feeling. Fingers and toes curled, back arched, eyes shut tightly as he felt his member engulfed in wet warmth.

His goal pleasure, the blonde bobbed his head dutifully, lost in the motion. He could feel his lover grow harder and hotter on the walls of his cheeks, a forgotten feeling and one long-missed. Ciel’s moans were a welcome melody to his ears, hands grabbing the other’s legs tightly; he had to be careful not to leave any bruises though he would delve great pleasure from doing so. 

He wished nothing more than to provide pleasure, despite only ever being good at receiving it. It was bliss to see the other’s edges soften right in front of his eyes, his breath quickening and his reaction exactly what he wanted out of the other. The taste of skin and the heat of the room were but a backdrop to their worlds entwining for a night - hopefully, there would be many more.

The two continued without words, only the sounds of whines and moans singing in their ears. Opening his eyes after holding them so tightly shut, Ciel felt as though he were seeing stars. He felt as though he could cry. Eight years of loneliness, eight years of being completely touch starved and wishing everyday so ashamedly that it was Alois’ cheek he were kissing instead of Lizzie’s.

His legs suddenly curled up around Alois’ head, unknowingly squeezing him between them as he felt hot pleasure pooling deep within him. It couldn’t end now, he had to last longer than this. He wished he could last hours doing this, all night if he were able. Gripping the blond’s hair tighter than he meant to, he pulled, lifting Alois’ head from his groin before he fell over the edge.

And what a sight he was. Pink and flushed and sweating and completely out of breath, barely able to hold himself up balancing on one elbow dug into the mattress. Ciel stared into nothing, eyes half lidded and pupils larger than moons, a bit embarrassed at how quickly Alois had gotten a rise out of him, but also trying to come down off of his overwhelming high.

The high was like a drug, a quick and fast hit now and then to stay satisfied. Alois felt like an addict, seeking his next hit from every hallway and dark room until he could come home and get high on his own supply. To compare it, Jean had been like a weak supply, a watered-down opiate that kept him alive but did naught much else. Ciel was the cleanest form of it, one hit could make him lose his mind. 

The contact turned his entire face bright pink and his whole body hot as the fire they stood in front of earlier. He was briefly thankful that his butler had worn him down already, stripped him emotionally so he could feel his lover piece him back together, breath by breath; pure opium poppies to soothe him. The blonde felt dizzy and lightheaded as his hair was grasped, crawling back on top of his love. What a sight that man beneath him was. 

Ciel had grown into a remarkable man, chiseled chest as if by the gods themselves. He took a pause to look him over, messy and unseamed. This was a sight he could behold for hours upon hours, the moonlight through the slightly drawn curtain dancing on them both. Leaning down on his own elbow, he placed a soft kiss on his lover’s cheek, a sweet gesture unusual for the Earl. 

“You’re beautiful.” He mumbled, brushing hair from the other man’s face with his free hand. “All I ever wanted.. right here.”

It was painfully poetic, how the two Earl’s saw each other in exactly the same way, particularly in this very moment. Flushed pink, out of breath and sweat beading up on their foreheads; surely the most beautiful sight they had seen in a long time.

Catching his breath, Ciel looked Alois in the eyes upon hearing his words, his heart clenching.  _ Beautiful _ , the voice repeated in his mind. It was in moments like these that Ciel struggled to find words, too caught up in the act to think properly, as if he never learned to speak in the first place. He did what he could only think of doing then, and wrapped his arms tightly around Alois and pulled him in close, capturing his lips yet again in a deep kiss. His legs lifted, locking ankles around Alois’ hips, and he trailed one hand back down to his lover’s member, wasting no time in stroking him eagerly. Ciel wanted to capture every one of his moans and breathless gasps.

He needed him. He wanted him. He wanted just as much for it to happen as he wanted the scene to last for hours. “Please..” he whined in the kiss, nearly desperate enough to begin begging. “Alois, please..”

Allowing a heavy breath to pass his lips upon the touch of the other, he closed his eyes in desire. His hot breath released onto his lover’s face, relaxing into a soft smile. Alois opened his eyes to fix his gaze on his face, taking in every sweet second they had right now. 

“Take me however you wish.” He stated, weak and low. “You’re the one who’s been waiting without a placeholder. So… show me what you fantasized about.” His statement dripped with desire and longing, his thoughts still partially distant but his body and world contained in this room. He wondered exactly what the other wanted to see from him, nothing but a circus clown when it came to the other man. Alois knew in that moment, he’d do absolutely anything if it made the love of his life feel some kind of freedom from all the responsibility they both held, knowing none of those fantasies were for the consumption of his betrothed.

With his hand still working diligently, stroking his lover ever so intently, his face froze as he stared up at the other, looking so deeply into his sea blue eyes he thought he might be falling in.

What had he fantasized about? Eight years had passed and Ciel spent every one of those days trying desperately to forget Alois; his scent, his body, the feeling of his skin against his own. When they were young, they spent nights like these experimenting, learning about each other’s bodies and their own; what felt good and what felt right. In fact, thinking about it now, they had probably used almost every surface in this room for sinning. Ciel’s face turned an even darker red at the thought, those memories resurfacing.

But ultimately, he knew what he wanted. “This..” he breathed, bringing both of his hands up to Alois’ cheeks to hold him and stroke his thumbs across his skin. “Like this.. I want to see your face..” Saying it this way made it sound romantic, and while of course it was, a part of Ciel also wanted so desperately to watch the other’s face contort with pleasure as they neared the end of this. That was admittedly his favorite part. “Take me this way..”

He nodded softly, breath catching in his throat at every stroke.  _ Fuck, jean wishes he could _ . Alois had only ever loved one other like this- his butler never returning the favor, every other man in his bed only ever filling the space. He had nearly forgotten what love really felt like; the passion of such a love never quite matching up. 

He rolled himself over, taking his lover with him since they were locked in such a manner. The man splayed himself out beneath him, giving himself up to the moment. “All of me is yours,” he purred, leaving himself on display for the other alone. His pale skin was hot as a stovetop, arching towards the other in desire. 

It has always belonged to the other man, he thought. No matter what he tried to do to move on, none of it had worked. He knew now that this was due to the fact that having sold their souls, their bodies were forever bound by the lack. They were a match made directly in hell itself, the fires of which came through their bodies when they were alone.

A moment passed as Ciel regained his balance from being flipped over, now hovering over the other young man with his hands against the mattress on either side of his head. He forgot how this felt, being in control. A rush of confidence sparked through him, sitting up straight to look down at Alois, a calm but devious look in his eyes.

Ciel slowly ran his fingertips under Alois’ jaw, placing his first two fingers against his lips. “Open.“ He commanded, slipping his two fingers into the other’s mouth and against his tongue, coating them in slick saliva. “I forgot how lovely you look like this..” He teased, grinning as he pressed his fingers down against the pad of Alois’ tongue, admiring the seal that was barely visible.

Alois heeded the command, parting his lips eagerly. The seal of his contract appeared as if a latent burn mark, branded but inactive as ever as he waited for his lover to defile it. The act was one of disrespect, wanting his mouth to be used to the fullest extent to coat the mark. The man smiled slightly, wanting nothing more than to be used. 

While he always stayed on top in the past, he felt comfortable letting himself loose only with his love. It had been years since they’d been together, years more since he’d been used last like this. While some memories still burned of the old man and his torture, Ciel would be the only one who could take those memories and light them ablaze. Nights such as these served as his only form of therapy, twisting his old memories into new ones and taking their place.

While distracting Alois with his fingers in his mouth, Ciel thought deeply about how he should go about being in this new position of control. He hadn’t done it like this before, and was wracking his brain for memories of things Alois had done to him. This was the perfect opportunity to give his lover a taste of his own medicine.

And suddenly, he had a wonderful idea. He stifled a small laugh, sneering as he removed his now soaked fingers from Alois’ mouth. In what looked like one swift movement from Alois’ love drunk point of view, Ciel scooched down the bed, lifting each of Alois’ legs over his shoulders and pulling him close by his thighs. “Relax for me, love,” he cooed, pressing an eager digit to his lover’s entrance. Remembering the initial discomfort he usually felt during this, he made sure to stimulate him in other ways, squeezing the other’s thigh with his free hand and licking gently at his member. He kept his gaze locked firmly on Alois’ face, studying him for any hint of pain or pleasure as he slowly massaged his finger inside of him, deeper and deeper until he reached his second knuckle.

With a sharp gasp, the man pressed into it, growing dizzy. While painful, no one else ever took so much care with his body. It hurt, but in the best kind of way; pain morphed into pleasure, heat growing in his abdomen. Letting out a soft moan, Alois closed his eyes tightly, breathing through any of the remaining pain. 

The man wanted to lose complete control underneath the other, relaxing as his fingers tied knots of the silken sheets and sweat beading on his chest. Drunk on love was a look that suited him flawlessly, arching his back into it and giving himself up to the mercy of the moment. He grew harder, heartbeats siphoning blood to the region and heard through the silence now only they punctured. 

“F…. fucking  _ hell _ …”

Watching him carefully through his eyelashes, Ciel left wet kisses along his inner thighs, stopping to bite lightly at the skin. Hearing the other’s comment he couldn’t help but grin, sensing another opportunity for cockiness. “Don’t be so sensitive with me now..” he teased, remembering every time their positions had been switched, with Alois purring in his ear about how sensitive and tightly wound he could be.

Careful not to move too quickly, Ciel massaged in a second finger, this one sliding in a bit easier than the first, He curled them together, gently beginning to move them in and out of the other’s entrance. His free hand ran up, up his thigh and up the side of his torso, eventually finding his hand and interlocking their fingers tightly. “I’m never this quiet,” he smirked, pushing his fingers in just a bit deeper. “Let me hear you..”

_ Neither am I _ , he thought,  _ not when I’m faking. _ That was just it, wasn’t it though. This time, Alois was actually embarrassed by how desperate he’d gotten for this brat. While familiar with the feeling, he wasn’t used to his heartbeat quickening this much, the heat in his stomach growing so much. Everything without him had just been a release, and only satisfied when he could block out Jean’s body. Thank god their faces were similar, but their personalities held different appeal. The man inside him now, for example, was one he loved. 

With another thrust, he was driven close to the edge. A louder moan escaped him, his eyes rolling back in pleasure. Sticky-sweet bliss coursed through his whole body, feeling as though he had been dipped into syrup with how lost in paradise he was becoming. His fingers tightened into the sheets, pulling them off the other side of the bed as he allowed another moan to escape.

“You make such pretty noises..” He hummed, sucking a dark bruise into the inside of Alois’ thigh. He continued twisting and thrusting his fingers into him, curling them and trying to ensure he was relaxed. It wouldn’t be pleasing for either of them if it wasn’t.

Planting a quick kiss on his thigh, Ciel gently removed his fingers, sitting himself up and pulling Alois’ legs around his hips, securing them there. His chest rose and fell as he took deep breaths, trying to push aside the nervousness he felt in this moment. A final look at the blond’s face caused him to relax completely, feeling the heat between their bodies grow hotter. He swallowed hard, leaning in to kiss his lover passionately.

Pulling away so they were just centimeters apart, Ciel gazed into the eyes of Alois, exhausted and aroused. “Stop me if it hurts..” He whispered softly, remembering how Alois always said something along those lines to him when the positions were switched.

Ciel gently stroked himself a few times, stifling soft moans before pressing the tip of his member to Alois’ entrance, moving as slowly as he could as he began to push inside. A low groan melted from his lips, feeling the tight heat surround his member. It was almost enough to send him over the edge just like this, but he was determined to hold on. Steadier now, he placed his palms over Alois’ locking their fingers together on either side of his head against the mattress.

Wincing slightly, he exhaled sharply as he felt the other enter. It did hurt, of course, but he could relax into it in a way he hadn’t been able to with his replacement. It had been years however, since he’d done anything like this, and he was tighter than he used to be. Held down by his palms, he struggled to clear the brain fog that made him feel drunk. 

Eyes watering at the remnants of pain, he let himself ease into the pleasure. The heat in his abdomen grew, placing him right on the edge of the cliff. The man moaned repeatedly at every thrust, leaving his mouth open so as not to worry about it as much as he was prior. The room grew louder and hotter and he felt himself edging so close to release, fingers holding tightly through the other’s. 

After only minutes, Alois felt the pressure burst, arching back into the bed in ever-fleeting bliss. The moment made him feel lightheaded, all the blood rushing to the area and leaving him a succulent mess. Embarrassed, he released his fingers to wind tightly together behind his lover’s back. “Fuck you…” He sighed, an echoing release rocking his body again.

Upon feeling his body relax, Ciel picked up his pace a bit, thrusting rhythmically into his lover. Soft gasps and low groans tumbled from his lips, his brows furrowing as sweat beaded along his rosy forehead.

Only minutes later did the rhythm he found begin to fumble, his thrusts becoming less precise and more desperate. He leaned over Alois’ body, gripping the sheets above his head as the other wrapped tightly around his back. The knot in his lower abdomen pulled, tighter and tighter until the rope snapped, forcing his blissful release inside of Alois. He shuddered, his hips still slowly rocking as he rode out his high, looking down at the mess Alois had left all over his lower stomach.

Ciel barely had any energy left, his muscles quivering slightly as he rested on top of the other man, yet to pull out. He chuckled softly at Alois’ feisty words, peppering the side of his face and neck with soft kisses. “You loved it..” Ciel hummed into his ear.

After taking a few deep breaths, Ciel moved to pull out, both of them flinching a bit as he did so, followed by a relaxed sigh. He knew they had cleaning up to do, but he decided it could wait a few more minutes. The power high he had felt was dying down now as he curled up against Alois’ side, resting his head on his lover’s chest and listening to his heart. It felt as though a part of him had been fulfilled, like an incomplete puzzle finally placing the last puzzle piece after years of being incomplete. Alois Trancy was his missing puzzle piece.

“Mm…” Alois hummed ,closing his eyes and holding his lover close. “Irrelevant.” He teased, looking over. He poked one finger into Ciel’s red hot cheek, causing the other man’s face to shrink for a moment. The expression made him chuckle lightly, all tension gone between the two. It was a childish gesture, calling back to the years they spent apart and tying the time together. It was as if they’d never been apart to being with, the shedded years as irrelevant as the comment.

The taller man turned his head, nuzzling into Ciel’s neck. “I just want you to know,” he began softly, “you have no one to compete with.” 

He wondered just how much his past affair bugged the other man, though he hoped not at all. Jean had looked nearly the same, spoke the same, and shared most mannerisms. Yet, he held the knowledge to be true that the comparison was never truly there. Nights were desperate in a different way, as if he had to prove himself time and time again. Both men had grown up beside Alois, but Alois had never grown out of London, rather leaving a piece of himself here that he was able to gain back in these sickly sweet nothings.

Ciel closed his eyes, nuzzling deeper into the embrace and wrapping his arms around Alois. He wrapped a strand of blond hair around his finger, twisting it gently.

The sudden confession took him by surprise, his eyes opening although he didn’t move. He was surprisingly not angry or hurt in the slightest. The two of them were not only living under different circumstances, one of them actively engaged and the other free to do as he pleased, but they also handled their pain quite differently. Ciel tended to shrink away from the world and wallow in silence, muting any emotion he felt until it passed. Alois would act out in a number of ways, grabbing onto anything he could to chase a new feeling that would distract him from the pain.

“I know..” he whispered, lifting his head to look at Alois, still playing with his hair. “I do, I know..”

The two Earls shared that moment, looking into each other’s eyes and reaching a silent understanding that they would be okay, that the past didn’t matter and whatever happened in the last eight years wasn’t something they could change. They laid there awhile longer, snuggling close and sharing the occasional kiss, before eventually rising from the bed to clean one another. Ciel felt both pride and pity at the sight of Alois struggling to sit up, hiding a snicker as he helped clean him up.

Their bodies cooled down, no longer out of breath and coated in a layer of sweat. They pulled the silky covers over themselves, resting their heads comfortably in the folds of the pillows, still clinging to one another as if they feared the other would disappear before morning.

Tied together, all worries dissipated in the fog of the London night. They were finally alone, even if it were for only a night or two here and there. As grown men, they knew they were both on borrowed time even more so than as teens. Any moment outside this manor or this room could endanger either one, and yet they were perfectly calm. Falling asleep now, the blonde was sure to hide in his lover’s chest, letting darkness cover him completely. Pain from long ago didn’t touch him here, sewing up the lost edges of their love story.


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work of fiction is an original collaborative work between tumblr users @theearltrancy and @floweryfreelance. Its original format was in that of a roleplay, and has been edited to be a more cohesive story. This work was created on 11.10.20 and completed on 11.30.20.  
> Please consider following each author for more fictional works.

Morning light poured into the room, illuminating the entirety of the mess they made the night before. Clothing strewn all over the floor, closet door still open, the dent Alois made the night before in the wall now revealing also ripped wallpaper frantically trying to cover the damage. This room was undoubtedly the taller man’s, bleeding disorganization after just one night of his return to it. It was a wonder that he kept anything in his life together, let alone an estate and an alliance with the Queen herself. 

Icy blue eyes fluttered open to witness it, first confirming that his lover was still by his side. Ciel consistently woke up later than he did by mere minutes, but he still enjoyed the time he had with the peace. These were the moments he felt the most peaceful, these secret moments in the early morning that he didn’t need to spend alone. He shifted in bed, stretching his arms over his head, realizing he was still unclothed from the night before. The sight made him smile, reveling in the taste of the memory.

Feeling the movement beside him, Ciel groaned softly, his nose scrunching up as he turned his head towards Alois. It appeared he might be waking up then, but that wasn’t the case. His side felt a breeze as a result of Alois shifting in the bed, and so in a deep sleep he turned over, wrapping his arms around Alois’ arm and buried his face between his shoulder and the pillow. Warm again, he sighed contently, continuing to sleep.

At this point in the morning, it was mostly a waiting game. The Earl, whichever one it was in their respective homes, would wait in his bed until his butler came to wake him. He would carry a warm and damp cloth to wipe his face down, as well as prepared suggestions for both his attire for the day, a memorized breakfast menu, and a list of any duties they had for the day.

The only question now, considering they both resided in the same bed this morning, was which butler would appear first.

Alois smiled at his lover beside him, taking in the structure of the man’s face as he slept peacefully. This scene was perfection to him. While the evenings were consistently foggy, the mornings were normally quite bright and welcoming. The sky opened up, illuminating the softer side of this sin they shared. 

In that moment, there was a soft knock at the door, causing the blonde to look up quickly and pull the sheets up to his collarbones. He prayed silently that it wouldn’t wake Ciel too quickly, and hopefully it wasn’t-

“Good morning, your highness.” The demon greeted cooly, walking into the room with a cloth draped over his hand and a smug look on his cold face. Making amends, perhaps? No, he wouldn’t hope for that - just grin and bear it like every other morning. Claude never said sorry. Alois rolled his eyes, sitting up fully in bed but discreetly placing his other hand on his lover’s shoulder so as to hopefully wake him gently.

He was dreaming about a party, a grand one at that, a scene in which Ciel Phantomhive would rarely be found taking part. But in this dream, Ciel and his love attended together; they sat together while eating and talking with other guests, hung on one another’s arm, and danced around the room, most of which was Ciel fumbling and trying to keep up with Alois who was a natural at navigating such parties.

But the dream faded away as the sun hit his eyelids, Ciel groaning softly as he was gently shaken awake. He rolled onto his back, letting out a cutely impolite yawn, his fingers wrapping around Alois’ wrist. “Mm, it’s bright..” he whined. But something was off, he could tell Alois was focusing on something else. Had Sebastian already come in?

Ciel turned over to look towards the door, his heart dropping into his stomach as he recognized a butler standing a bit too close to the bed for his own comfort, though it wasn’t  _ his  _ butler. He sat up quickly, using one hand to pull the sheets up to his chest as his other hand quickly covered his contract-stained eye, averting his eyes so as not to make direct eye contact with the demon in the room.

Alois again used his hand to gently comfort the other man, keeping one hand on the other’s shoulder. The butler was a problem, but it was his problem and it would deal with it, especially after years of fighting with the man. He sighed, irritated, reaching out for the towel reluctantly. 

Wiping his face with it, he then wadded it up and tossed it right into Claude’s face. The act of defiance barely phased him, eliciting only a long blink. The blonde huffed as if he were still a young teenager. 

“Would you like to know the options for this morning’s breakfast?” The demon offered, emotionless. 

The blonde pursed his lips, returning the damp hand to the pillow and tossing himself back in bed in reluctance. It was heard to believe this man was an adult when he did things like this. “Not really. I’ll have whatever he does.” He said blankly, pulling the sheets over his head now. “Get out.”

With Alois hiding beneath the covers, it created the illusion of Ciel and Claude being alone in the room together. That was the last thing Ciel wanted; he was often faced with the dilemma of being close in proximity to someone who wanted him dead, but something about Claude made his hair stand on end.

Despite his order from Alois, Claude didn’t immediately act. He stood there a moment longer, his eyes moving from his own master to the vulnerable bluenette sitting up in bed. Still concealing his contract eye, Ciel glared him down, masking the uneasiness he felt in the moment.

“You heard your master.” He spoke harshly, clutching the sheets tightly against his chest. “Get out. Sebastian will come, he’ll be responsible for the both of us.” The command didn’t leave Claude with much to do, but Ciel didn’t really care. He was afraid of this demon, knowing what he knew now.

The faintest sneer crossed Claude’s face, though it quickly returned to the same old emotionless slate. He bowed, folding the cloth over his arm before backing towards the door, eyeing the Phantomhive Earl over his shoulder as he exited. As the door closed shut, Ciel released a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding, falling back into the pillows.

“Motherfucking scum.” The man grumbled to himself with his lover’s return. He remained hidden in the sheets, pulling them down only slightly to reveal his golden head. His hair was now disheveled, staticy despite the silk sheet, the cotton of the pillowcase betraying him. “I hate him, I hate him..” 

The morning still held the same playful, light atmosphere even though the blonde was in a mood now. Somehow, he felt better knowing that his lover knew not even he approved of the attitude coming from the evil that unfortunately followed him. Without another word spoken, the man childishly reached out to the other smaller man, holding him tightly to his own chest. At least he had someone to ground him.

Ciel returned the embrace, wrapping his arms around him and nuzzling into the crook of the other’s neck, blonde hair tickling his nose. He could hear his heart beating, elevated and frustrated.

“He knows..” Ciel commented, halfheartedly attempting a joke. He sighed softly, his hot breath hitting Alois’ neck. He decided to change the subject. “What will you do today?” The still half-asleep bluenette inquired, lifting his head so as to be understood more clearly. “Will you go home? Or will you stay? The weekend hasn’t ended yet..” He snuck in that little side comment, hoping Alois would stay at least for part of the day, if not another night. There were so many things he wanted them to do together; play chess, walk outside in the garden, even read in silence and just enjoy each other’s presence. He dreaded the thought of him leaving again.

Alois let out a half-hearted snort. Despite the interruption, his love was fairly good at grounding him. If he hadn’t been still feeling such an annoyance, one would think that the butler had never entered the room. It was a skill, a deadly one if used in the right context. Alois relaxed into the embrace, half-smiling at the thought of being wanted. It wasn’t new, but it took him by surprise constantly. 

“I’m not leaving.” He stated, realizing only afterwards how matter-of-fact he sounded. “I mean, I want to stay. Hell, it’s been almost ten years since I saw your home.” He commented, the picture of the garden in his memory crossing by. He wondered if any flowers had been planted in his honor; perhaps there were bluebells now, his favorite flower, planted absentmindedly in an effort to forget. “I plan to stay as long as you’ll let me.” He mused, hand finding its way into the man’s dark blue hair and running it through his fingers. Alois hoped the notion was appreciated, knowing he’d stay forever if fate only allowed.

Ciel eased into Alois’ hand, closing his eyes as his fingers combed gently through his hair. “Then you’ll stay another night,” He remarked, tracing light circles on the blonde’s shoulder with his finger. “Elizabeth likely won’t return for another week, but I have a case I need to take care of after tomorrow.” He sighed, recalling the piles of paperwork on his desk in his study. “So, you’ll stay until then.”

The moment was interrupted yet again with another soft knocking on the door, although it was Sebastian who opened it this time. He smiled at the two young men, presenting himself with a half bow as he stepped into the room. “Good morning,” he cooed, approaching the bed with a hot towel for Ciel, and an additional one for Alois in the off chance he would want another upon seeing the one for the other man. “For breakfast this morning is a full English breakfast, with porridge, bacon and eggs.”

Sitting up now, Ciel wiped his face down with the hot towel, sighing into it as he attempted to fully wake up. “And how is the weather?” He inquired.

“A bit chilly, master, but the sun is shining brightly.” Sebastian replied, taking the towels back.

“I see,” Ciel noted, glancing at the window before turning back towards his butler. “We’ll have breakfast outside in the garden this morning. Ready my coat in case it’s colder than expected, and Mr. Trancy’s traveling coat as well.” By now he was already sitting up, rolling his shoulders as he stretched and pulled on his undergarments that had been discarded on the floor the night before.

Sebastian nodded charmingly, then turning his attention towards the Earl Trancy. “I’ll return my master to his bedroom to prepare him for the morning. Your butler will return here shortly to do the same for you, if it pleases you.” He said, picking his master’s eye patch up from the floor and beginning to fasten it onto his head once again.

Alois sat up as well, taking the towel and actually wiping his face with it, still groggy and irritated. Recognizing he was being addressed, he set the towel down beside him. Letting out a long sigh, he pushed a hand through his hair, moving it from his face. 

“I’ll allow it.” He stated, cold. The rivalry between the two was completely gone by now, Alois unaffected by Sebastian’s presence. He grumbled once again under his breath, crossing the room to put his own undergarments back on and half-heartedly picked up some of his other clothing. Though rudely interrupted, this was still a better morning than any he spent at his own home.

As he was escorted from the room by his butler, Ciel smiled softly over his shoulder at Alois. Something in his smile was reassuring, reminding him that even with that awful demon’s presence, they had a nice day ahead of them; hours and hours to spend with one another, uninterrupted. For the most part.

-

An hour passed, as each of the young men bathed and picked out their attire for the day. Ciel, with the help of his butler who always seemed to have an eye for that sort of thing, chose a dark green ensemble, all velvet with black lace on the ends of his sleeves and coat tails, golden buttons, and a black dress shirt underneath. It wasn’t as formal as he would usually wear out, but seeing as he was staying in today, he felt the outfit was appropriate enough.

He arrived at the table first, just outside the back of the manor in the center large patio of his garden. It was a simple black table with a glass top, and elegant chairs to match. Breakfast was already being set out; steaming bowls of porridge and plates of bacon and eggs, all covered to trap in the heat, accompanied by a lovely tray of sliced fruits and Earl Grey tea. His favorite.

Ciel sat down in the chair Sebastian pulled out for him, scooching in close to the table. He took a deep breath, feeling clean and awake and refreshed, and admittedly quite hungry. But he would wait here, just like this, for lover to arrive, hopefully just as clean and awake and refreshed.

The hour was long, but Alois made it his prerogative not to start an argument this time. Some days were better than others between him and his butler, most of them passing uneventfully. While slightly more difficult in a home away from home, and particularly the home of his ex-rival, most actions went off without a hitch.

His morning bath went fine, no conversation or lingering needed, and he preferred to do much of it on his own anyway. The Earl chose a maroon ensemble for the day afterwards, gemstones embedded in the buttons and black velvet on both pocket flaps. He spent quite a while in the mirror afterwards, adjusting it to make sure it sat at the exact point in his waist that he wanted it to. The velvet coat was one of his more expensive Parisian items, though being how he was, he didn’t particularly care if he was to go out in it or not. Besides, it would keep him warm enough in the brisk London morning. 

Just as the clock hit 8am, he finally left the room as his butler picked up and sorted the clothing all around the floor. This was one of the better sides of his stolen wealth; he never had to account for his tantrums. As he walked out into the garden with Hannah by his side now, the man even allowed a tinge of excitement to spend the morning with his lover. 

“Quite the classic spread,” he commented, as if he hadn’t been in a dark mood just an hour earlier. Hannah took more joy in her work than the other despite her lower position as a maid, pulling his chair out for him and calmly standing several feet behind him once he was settled.

Seeing as the two Earl’s were now both seated at the table, Sebastian took it upon himself to lean over, removing the covers from their breakfast platters. He hummed a small “Please, enjoy” before returning to stand behind his own master.

Ciel nodded, beginning to stir his porridge. “Indeed,” he agreed, blowing on it before taking a bite. A hot meal like this was perfect for the blustery morning. “The tea is Earl Grey, I hope it’s to your liking.” The commented, looking up at Alois as he took a sip from his own cup. “It’s still my favorite. I like to have a cup every morning with my breakfast.”

The blonde beamed at the meal, closing his eyes to take a big whiff of it all, for this was a special morning. Excited, he lifted his own teacup with an undue amount of care, careful not to spill any of the drink. Although it was a simple pleasure, it was rare that he got to share it with anybody. He blew on the cup before taking a small sip of it, still just barely too hot but he didn’t mind. 

“It’s always been mine as well,” he commented, looking up to meet the other’s eyes. They shared a soft smile, pleased to simply be across from the table from one another. The blonde wanted to soak in every moment they had, for it was never enough.

The two young men continued their breakfast peacefully, unable to remember the last time they both felt this tranquil, especially together. They talked about all sorts of things: Alois’ adventures moving back into his estate, Ciel’s overload of work and desperation for a good long holiday, and even some talk about the places they would go together if they ever had the chance.

Upon finishing their hot breakfast and tea, Alois and Ciel left the cleaning up to their servants, rising from the table and subconsciously making their way deeper into the garden, not wanting their time alone in the cool morning air to end just yet. The strode side by side along a fine gravel path paved between rows of rose bushes and fully grown trees, the leaves of everything beginning to turn yellow and orange with the changing of the seasons. Feeling their hands brush against each other, they linked pinkies, keeping contact with the other without the “dramatics”.

“If it wouldn’t be so bloody suspicious,” Ciel began, a faint pout on his face as he inspected his rose bushes. “I’d keep you here forever in that room. Even with Lizzie here.” Of course such a thing would never be possible, but daydreaming about it would be harmless.

The blond laughed joyfully, having dreamt of that exact thing for years now. He’d attempted to do just that in his second home, failing miserably but not for a lack of trying. Alois swung their hands back and forth as they walked together in the crisp fall morning. The action felt so casual, so everyday, that he could forget their circumstances if only for a moment or two. 

“And forever I’d stay,” he added, smiling to himself as he eyed the red roses and the tall trees. They’d been much smaller last time he was here, having grown enough to likely shade them in the summer, months ahead now. It was freeing to daydream, planning to stick around for as long as the other would allow. He wondered idly what would happen if anyone else knew of them; of course they couldn’t marry, but he’d thought of many ways to run away together. Though, none of them were logical. 

A long academic retreat. A business trip, ending in false tragedy, presumed dead only to secure land in Austria, perhaps America even. A secluded “business partnership…” Alois’ smile grew wide picturing it all. Maybe in some universe, Lizzie would understand, marry for love but not the romantic kind they shared. Oh, one could dream.. 

“Sometimes I just wish it was all so much simpler.” He admitted, reaching out to hold the stem of a rose between his index and middle fingers.

Ciel hummed in response, gazing in admiration at Alois observing the rose. “I wish things were simpler all of the time.” He rolled his eyes, his comment sparking a new train of thoughts. “It all seems so fictional. Demons, curses, forbidden romance and secrecy..” He trailed off, sighing to himself. “Sometimes I wonder if this is all real, or if I’m just stuck in a twenty-one year long dream.”

They wandered further, continuing to take in the natural beauty around them, and occasionally sneaking longing looks at one another. Ciel thought Alois looked like a painting in a museum with the roses and stone statues behind him.

He looked around them nonchalantly, checking to see if there was anyone near them who could be watching. Seeing no one, Ciel tugged on Alois’ sleeve and pulled him just behind a nearby rose bush to the side of the paved pathway, cupping his cheeks and pulling him in for a soft kiss. His pale cheeks quickly turned pink, hoping the sudden action didn’t come off as  _ too  _ needy.

Startled and stumbling slightly, Alois caught his balance just in time to return the kiss. The gesture made him laugh against the other man’s lips, placing his hands around his shoulders to steady himself. Gentler now, he pulled back only to place another kiss on the man’s soft pink lips. He stood back, running a thumb against them, taking in the texture of his skin to memorize it. His eyes were soft, searching for confirmation that the other felt the same in this moment - joyful, light, playful, and completely in love. 

“I’ve heard there are groups,” he mentioned softly, his tone hopeful, “There are other men like us… maybe someday this part of our lives will at least be less fictional.” He paused, brushing a strand of hair behind the other’s ear, distant. “Maybe we’ll even finish these contracts someday, be normal people as best as we can…”

One of Ciel’s more negative traits was his pessimism. As much as he wanted that ‘normal’ life with Alois, he didn’t believe they would ever have it. It was like Alois told him the night before; the two of them were doomed to live in sin, tied to demons who one day would take their souls. There wasn’t a way out of it.

But he refused to let those thoughts spoil this moment. Alois’ breath smelled of Earl Grey tea, and Ciel’s mouth watered a bit. He would pocket this beautiful memory as well, tucking it away to remember when he felt alone;  _ two young men taking a morning walk in a rose garden, sharing kisses just out of sight _ .

“Perhaps..” Ciel hummed, resting his forehead against the other’s. “Perhaps we will..”

Alois reached down, grabbing both of his lover’s hands in his tightly. Keeping their faces close, the man closed his eyes, a wistful smile resting on his lips. Despite his lover’s pessimism, he wanted to believe in something. 

“We’re not the only ones,” He said quietly, reassuring the other. “Not everything about it is completely unnatural. We may be doomed, but we’re at least not the only ones..” He repeated, thinking about the headlines he’d read in the papers recently. “There’s one thing we can stop worrying about. Maybe someday they’ll change something.”

There was a group of men just like him, right in London. The article that followed was filled with hateful words, as expected, but it was the idea that he clung to. Before then, he had accepted that he would never love a woman, but he always assumed that it was tied to a life of sin. While he never internalized it and lived as if it were normal, it struck him to have confirmation that other people did in fact feel just as he did- purely in love with other men, wholly human and wholly raw, perhaps unnatural but _ real. _

He relaxed slightly as his hands were squeezed in the other’s, and he nodded, trying to muster up even a bit of optimism. “I hope they will.”

Ciel had seen it too, the articles in the papers. There were in fact other men like them, although their existence was met with disgust and hatred from the public and from the churches, calling them abominations and demanding horrible things be done to them. It was difficult for Ciel to focus on anything other than the public’s disgust for men like him, but he admired Alois’ ability to hold onto the fact that they weren’t alone- that they weren’t some strange mistake in the universe that wasn’t supposed to occur in the first place. They weren’t alone, that much was true.

The two young men spent the rest of the day together, just as they planned. They spent much of it sneaking away from their servants for just a bit of private time, looking for any opportunity to sneak a kiss, sit closer together than normal, or intertwine their fingers together. They held a lively conversation over several games of chess, only one of which Alois was able to win. The pair enjoyed an hour or so of light reading, most of which was Ciel actually trying to read while Alois did his best to distract him, and even shared another walk around the property. Lunch was held inside as the weather grew colder, the air smelling of rain once again. Across the table from each other, they talked while sharing glances out the window at the tiny droplets of rain beginning to lightly tap against the large window beside them.


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work of fiction is an original collaborative work between tumblr users @theearltrancy and @floweryfreelance. Its original format was in that of a roleplay, and has been edited to be a more cohesive story. This work was created on 11.10.20 and completed on 11.30.20.  
> Please consider following each author for more fictional works.

The end of the day grew nearer as the sky turned dark, the servants of Phantomhive Manor making their rounds and lighting the candles that illuminated the hallways, foyer and dining room of the building. Over dinner, Ciel began to have trouble focusing on their conversation, something he hoped Alois wasn’t picking up on too easily. Every time his gaze arose from his plate with the intention of looking at his lover, they always seemed to be caught in the eyes of the demon Claude standing several feet away. All those years ago, he often felt threatened by even the mere presence of Claude, but knowing now that the two were responsible for keeping a secret, a secret that could mean the end of him if found out, it was leaving him more on edge than usual.

Upon hearing his name leave Alois’ lips, he snapped back to attention, unsure of just how long he had been oblivious to Alois’ words. “I.. I’m sorry, yes? I went away for a moment there.” He tried to cover for himself. “I must be tired from the long day.”

Smiling softly in response, the blonde looked down at the table, having noticed the other man unable to focus. It was fully his cross to bear, and in response he turned to look at Claude, much of the anger from the morning having faded but still a tension between the two. 

“Claude, why don’t you go prepare some snacks for later and set them in the study?” He suggested, though a threatening tone still laced his voice. “When you’re done, go see if the other servants need any help. I’m sure that maid is tied up somewhere in god knows what” 

With that, the butler nodded and left the room, though a glare crossed his face. It wasn’t as if Claude wanted to follow any of his master’s orders, but bound to contract, refusal meant contradicting his nature. Alois took this seriously, wishing he’d follow simply because he was masking as a butler; the lifestyle proved difficult for some demons. 

“I was saying how I need to challenge you to a rematch,” he chimed, turning back around and picking up his fork, stabbing a piece of beef that was tenderly cooked to perfection and glazed in a hearty sauce. “If I can beat you once in chess, I can do it a million times!”

Sebastian stood by the door, stepping aside as Claude exited. He shared a glance with his master, earning a small nod from Ciel as a confirmation to follow him, and so he did. As Claude left the room, it was as if the air opened up. It was physically apparent how Ciel had been able to ease himself now that it was only the two of them in the room.

He cleared his throat, taking a sip of water to alleviate the feeling of dryness in his mouth he hadn’t noticed until now. “Yes, well,” he smirked, seemingly back to his normal sarcastic self. “If you’re to beat me in chess a million times, we’ll have to play at least five million games, four million of which I will win.” He bragged, never competitive about chess until he was faced with a cocky opponent such as Alois.

Seeing as they were now alone, Ciel decided to take the opportunity to ask a question he’d rather now have heard by either of their butlers. “So, assuming you’re staying again tonight,” he began quite nonchalantly, pausing to take a small bite of roasted potato. “Who’s room will we end up in this time?” Ciel’s teasing tone was always one of nonchalance; instead of acting playful he would simply act as if he didn’t care, always hoping to get a rise out of whomever he was speaking to.

Alois spoke with his mouth full, never having fully shedded his lack of manners. The man was never fond of them, never having made any particular use of them. “I like this game we’re playing,” he remarked, pointing at the other with the tip of his fork, “I suppose yours, since you’re so eager. I don’t think I’ll get a moment away from you, do you?” He purred, twirling his fork with his words. 

Chuckling lightly to himself, leaning back in his seat. The moment would be stored in his brain, a painting that would crack over the years.  _ Lovers sharing a casual dinner,  _ he logged, romanticizing every second he was able to. And if he were allowed, he would paint in every age spot, prolonging the memory for the next generation. 

The rest of the dinner passed with laughs and even more stories shared between the two men. Alois described his French home, suggesting he’d kick out the two lovers inhabiting it in a dramatic declaration of love. Perhaps with a staged fire, or an eviction notice, something of the sort. Those walls were to hold love, and he would only allow theirs to seep into them, no matter who he allowed into his own bed. 

Illuminated by the fire, the two men had retired to the study once again. Alois himself was running his finger along the spines of books that hadn’t been touched in years, taking a particular passing interest in the ones on gardening. It was a hobby he found dirty and beneath him, but he always wanted to understand how things began and thus, died. He wondered what he could do in order to keep a plant alive, even preserve one after its passing. 

“Do you read any of these?” He asked, noting the cover of dust on some of the pages of the ones he pulled off the shelf to flip through. “No interest in… horticulture? Oscar Wilde? Picture of Dorian Grey?”

Ciel sat in the armchair by the left out chess set, illuminated by the fire as he played with a Knight piece in his hand. He looked over at Alois, squinting slightly to see the book he had picked up.

“Most of them I read in childhood,” he commented, attention turning back to the chess piece. “Many of them haven’t ever been read. I used to have less work, and more time alone. Now I hardly have any time for such things.” Something in his tone was nostalgic as he recalled the days he would spend alone in his study or his bedroom as a young child. Before there was much work for him to do for the Queen, he would often read in isolation, always asking Sebastian to bring him a new book to escape into. That’s what most of them were, after all; escapes.

As calm and collected as he tried to appear, Ciel wasn’t always the most gifted at concealing his emotions. Though his facial expression was rather mute and nonchalant, something about him was still off; his aura, perhaps. It was the same energy Alois felt from across the dinner table. Something was still bothering him, and he wouldn’t speak of it. Likely, that something was related to Claude, one way or another.

It’s a good book,” he noted, opening it and flipping through to a particular passage- “  _ We are punished for our refusals. Every impulse that we strive to strangle broods in the mind, and poisons us. The body sins once, and has done with its sin, for action is a mode of purification… . Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself, with desire for what it's monstrous laws have made monstrous and unlawful. It has been said that the great events of the world take place in the brain. It is in the brain, and the brain only, that the great sins of the world take place also.  _ “ He smirked, closing it and placing it back in its place. “How naive.” 

The man looked over now to his lover, noticing finally his expression. A look of concern settled onto the other’s face, a frown forming. He strode over to the chair by the fire that he rested in, taking his place on the arm if it, allowing the velvet of his coat to buckle and wrinkle with the action. Soft, he placed his own hand over the other’s, staring longingly into the fire himself. 

“Two pence for your thoughts, my dear?” Alois inquired, quiet.

Ciel shifted in his seat as Alois sat on the arm of the chair, making a bit more room for the both of them to be comfortable. He leaned his head into his palm and stared at the fire, his other hand being held by the other’s. He thought for a few moments before speaking, hoping to articulate his mess of thoughts in a clear way.

“This.. secret we’re keeping,” he began, the heat from the fire beginning to make his exposed eye feel dry. Ciel turned to look up at Alois, trying desperately to squash his unease. “I’ve kept secrets before- Hell, I’m keeping  _ us  _ a secret rather well..” His thoughts began to wander, and so he trailed off, his mind darting from worry to worry as he struggled to figure out what to say next.

Alois sighed, his other hand reaching up to run through the man’s dark hair in hopes of comforting him. True, the situation was taxing when it wasn’t blissful, and while the blonde did his best to ignore that he knew his lover wouldn’t be capable. 

“Which part of it is the part bothering you now?” He inquired, smiling down at his lover, icy blue eyes seeking an answer before he responded. 

Outside the door, Claude had been following his hated rival for the majority of the evening. The two had cleaned the entire manor, folding every sheet possible and washing every window. It would make his blood boil if he’d had any human traits to speak of. It was then that he heard his master, wondering if there had been a speck of information he could use for himself. Surely, there was something here he could glean from the experience. He stopped in front of the closed door, pressing an ear softly against it.

The Earl ran both of his hands over his face, sighing as he stood from his chair abruptly. His reaction came across as frustrated, though he was truthfully only scared.

“Which part do you think?” He spat, purposely speaking to the other side of the room so as to not make Alois think he was angry at him. “Alois, if that butler of yours-” He turned to face him, taking a breath as he ran his fingers through his hair in an attempt to calm down. “If  _ Claude  _ knew what we know, he wouldn’t hesitate to kill me. And ironically, that’s something I can handle.” He pointed out, beginning to pace. “I’ve lived most of my life just  _ waiting  _ for death to take me. But he’d likely go after you, too..” Ciel’s voice softened slightly at the end of his rant, the thought of Alois being killed making him feel as if he were being suffocated by the air around him.

Pouting slightly at the outburst, Alois felt again like a child in the arms of a demon that was so much bigger than he’d ever hope to be. He could kill himself off as many times as he wished; he would never truly die until Claude wanted him to and was able to collect his soul as a light snack before killing his lover as well. With his luck, he’d probably live through it and watch Ciel die. The thought alone made him feel like he was about to choke. Both his hands dropped to the arm of the chair, steadying himself. 

“I just… need a way to do it gently.” He pleaded, locking his gaze on his lover’s face. “My revenge is over. If he knew that, he would be able to go… I don’t know- rogue.” He stated, gritting his teeth at the thought. “Releasing him from the contract, if he knew it was fulfilled, we could both die. I doubt he’d pass up an opportunity to end us both.”

Ciel raised a brow, turning back to face Alois with a look of disbelief on his face. “ _ Gently _ ?” he repeated. “And how, exactly, would you even go about that?” Ciel crossed to Alois, cupping his cheeks and holding his head in his hands. “I know you want to believe there’s a way for this to go well, I do as well. But there simply  _ isn’t _ .” If one looked closely enough, they could see the fear in his exposed eye, his pupil small and quivering. Ciel dropped his hands to Alois’ shoulders. “He’ll kill us, or at least try to, no matter how you go about telling him.”

The young man turned away once again, crossing his arms across his chest as he rested his chin between his thumb and forefinger. His shoulders rose and fell as he took a deep breath, determined to calm down. There was no point in getting worked up about it now, not here and not like this.

“I’ll help you if I must. I’ll bring Sebastian if you think it’ll help protect us from whatever rage, wrath- whatever follows.” He spoke in a serious voice, completing his thought before looking towards Alois over his shoulder. “But we needn’t come up with a plan tonight. As long as we can keep this between us, we have time.”

The blonde was backed into a corner emotionally, trapped in a prison of his own creation. He’d wished many times that at the very least, Claude could be more like Sebastian- a protector, a friend, a loyal dog. That simply was never in the cards for him, tossed around like a nuclear bomb of emotion ever since he was young enough to feel again. Killing those who used him could only bring him so much safety, wrapped in the lies of a demon at the end of the night, every night. 

He buried his face in his hands, mind swirling as it did when he started to feel any strong emotion. Things like this made him feel small, like a child again in his own casket back when the old man was still alive. He’d be stolen and used over and over again - it was time for that to stop, now in his adulthood. 

“We… have to find a way.” He whispered, choking up as he lost himself in his own head once again. “I can’t spend my whole damned life afraid, Ciel. I want a chance!” 

Claude had heard everything, processing what he’d just heard his own master say. He was… free? He had been free for how long? When had Alois figured out that Sebastian hadn’t been the one to bring harm to his brother? Who had told him that they weren’t tied by fate, but instead only tied through lies and time? It would’ve been his deepest fear for the boy if he hadn’t also been freed in the meantime. He no longer had to wait for an order- he could collect Ciel, exact his own revenge, and set the table for a long-awaited feast. Perhaps years ago he would collect Alois as well, but the scent of him no longer enticed him.. What a disgusting thought, eating him. 

They had less time than they thought.

Hearing the quiver in Alois’ voice he turned to face him again, his expression turning to one of pity and regret. He shouldn’t have said anything. It could have waited another night.

Ciel approached him, kneeling down next to the armchair and gently taking Alois’ hand in his own. “I’m sorry,” he spoke softly, his thumb tracing soft circles on the other’s skin. “We don’t need to discuss it anymore tonight. We’ll come up with a plan later.” He planted a light kiss on the back of Alois’ hand, getting his attention so he could look him in the eye. “We’ll discuss it later. Come to bed with me, it’s late.”

He stood from his position, pulling gently on Alois’ hands to stand him up from the chair. Their hands squeezed each other lovingly, comfortingly, as they looked upon each other. “Come now then, bed.”

Ice blue eyes focused on the other, now wet with tears that had only begun to form. He wasn’t sure how his lover was able to calm him down so well. He blinked them away, sniffling slightly and nodding. With his free hand, he dusted his coat, a distraction more than anything. 

“Right, bed… Okay…” He responded, thoughts still far away. He followed reluctantly, dragging his feet the whole way to Ciel’s room. In a way, he wanted to be alone to think, speed up the process so in a few days he’d have a chance at living. Even he knew it wasn’t that simple, though. 

A soft knocking came to the door, revealing the Trancy butler with a fresh change of clothing for the night and another damp towel. Despite his mood, it couldn’t have come at a better time, wishing to wipe the dried tears from his cheeks. He’d been crying silently to himself, pretending to admire the fabrics of the room and settling in by the window to watch the gentle rain hitting the windowpane. Although his lover was certainly aware, the blonde couldn’t be rattled from one of these moods once he got into them. Even with their distance, his lover knew this to be true as well. 

He held his hand out, hearing Claude enter and feeling a familiar tingle on his tongue. These days, it was more of a burning feeling that betrayed the animosity they shared. He knew the steps of his demon’s feet, the sound he made when he was in a room, recognized the smell of his laundry, if only to give himself a couple more moments to prepare. The demon handed him the towel, wiping his face off and refusing to look over at him. 

“Leave the clothes over there on the bed,” he ordered, distant.

“I actually feel like staying.” Claude uttered, out of turn. This was unusual- normally he would linger or bicker, but always followed orders. He didn’t have any agency- did he? Alois’ eyes widened, the thought crossing his mind that he may have been too loud earlier.

Now in his bedroom together, Ciel sat on the edge of the bed, opposite the room as Alois. He knew his lover well enough to know when he needed to have a moment, but desired the presence of someone he trusted for comfort. And so, that’s what he did.

His back facing the door, he tensed up a bit as Claude entered, once again feeling the air around him grow thick. The young man decided it best to not say a word to the butler, and simply endure his presence until he did his duties and left.

Upon hearing Claude’s dissent, something in Ciel froze, something deep inside him. Looking towards Alois out of the corner of his eye, he saw the other’s look of shock and worry, and his own face began to mirror the same expression. Between the three of them, the room seemed to fall under a dark and heavy cloud of dread, one that was so thick it made them feel as if they could choke.

Did he hear them?

Frozen in his place, Alois felt awash with fear all of a sudden. He felt many emotions towards the other, but never endangered. His hand slowly rose to cover his mouth, beginning to shake. 

“Get-… Get out!” He screamed, turning to stand and face the butler, now only slightly taller. However, it was clear that the two were far from being on the same level with one another. Nose to nose, the demon smiled out of the side of his mouth, pushing up his glasses and walking away- only to meet Ciel and lean in close. The tension was palpable as he eyed the man, dissolved to just a child in front of him. He ran a cold index finger along the darker man’s jaw, lifting his chin so he couldn’t look away, a threat if there ever was one. 

“Trancy,” he began, low, “I hope you remember what being alone is like.” He stated. With that, he straightened and pushed back his glasses, walking towards the door frame. He stopped just before leaving, making eye contact with the Earl Trancy, his last moment as a proper Trancy butler. “You won’t be coming with.”

Turning on his heel to leave, Alois stood frozen in complete shock and defeat. He dropped to the floor, fear gripping him in its entirety. He felt his body rock with sobs, but he wasn’t aware of any of it, the action not coming from emotion but rather absolute shock. They were in danger, and he’d willingly die with Ciel, but to die without him, no longer wanted….

Ciel had nearly lost all control of his body as he was faced with the man, sitting down but feeling as if he would fall if he tried to stand. His entire body went cold, clammy and quivering, and he flinched as he felt a gloved finger run along his jaw. In Claude’s golden eyes he saw nothing but darkness, a threatening void that left an lingering sense of terror as he walked away.

A ringing in his ears silenced Alois’ sobs and the sound of the door shutting behind the demon as he left. Ciel couldn’t move, completely and utterly frozen in place as his mind tried to make sense of what just occurred. The desire to hit himself crossed his mind, just in case this were a dreadful nightmare he hadn’t yet woken up from. But it wasn’t.

Abruptly, Ciel shot up from his seat on the bed, stumbling forward and grabbing hold of the bed frame for support. He screamed for Sebastian, louder than he had ever screamed before, his voice growing hoarse and cracked the more he screamed. It was only moments before Sebastian appeared in the doorway, a look of intense concern on his face as he rushed to his master’s side, helping him stand as he took notice of Alois crumpled up on the floor.

“Master, what is it? What’s happened?” He inquired, completely unaware of the events that had happened just moments before his arrival.

“It’s..Claude..” Ciel choked out, putting most of his weight on Sebastian as he struggled to stand upright. “He’s going to kill me..”

“Dear master, he can’t-”

“HE CAN AND HE WILL!” He screamed, looking desperately into his demon’s eyes. “The contract has been filled, it was kept a secret from him.. He doesn’t answer to Trancy any longer, he’s going to try to kill me..” Ciel spoke quickly, eyes darting back and forth between Alois and the door. “He’s gone, but he’ll come back. No one comes onto the grounds, and no one leaves, do you understand me!?”

Sebastian’s eyes widened, admittedly shocked by the confession. His brows furrowed as he nodded and closed his eyes briefly, helping Ciel to sit back on the bed. “Yes, master. I’ll take appropriate action immediately.” The demon then left the room swiftly, determined to notify the other servants, both of Phantomhive and Trancy manor, and to search the grounds for any sign of Claude.

And so, they were left alone. The noble Phantomhive Earl sitting lifelessly in silence, and the stately Trancy Earl sobbing and balled up on the floor.

Alois pulled his knees to his chest in an effort to calm himself, still dryly sobbing to himself for a good few minutes in the dark of the night. He couldn’t yet bring himself to stand, reduced to a childlike state of shock. Claude didn’t even want him anymore… which in and of itself was hurtful enough. But then, he also wanted to take the one chance he had at happiness with him. He’d be left forever in a Hell of his own making, no solace to be found. The contract would leave him wealth and power, things while paled in comparison to companionship, once the only thing he actually wanted out of his demon.

Ciel’s screams echoed in his ears as if he were miles away or perhaps hearing them in a nightmare. Though, it must have been only moments before Sebastian found the other Trancy staff, Hannah rushing in to hold the man in her gentle arms. The Earl grabbed on tightly to her, knowing she would be the only one to love him if he ever lost his lover. She pushed his hair out of his tear-stained face as she got to work putting him back together. She whispered a few reassurances to the man, Alois hearing none of them and beginning to cough and choke on his tears. Holding a handkerchief to his mouth, she spent a few more moments with him in silence, the closest thing he had to a mother. 

“Ciel,” she began, looking behind her shoulder at the other man, also falling apart at the seams. “I swore to his brother to protect him. I know now that includes you.” She stated with the calm only a demon could manage in the moment. “I will not hesitate if I must break rank.” 

Still hearing none of the sounds in the room, Alois muffled his coughs against Hannah’s chest, raising a hand to hold the cloth to his own mouth now. He struggled to breathe, pretending instead that he was in the room alone and had the time to compose himself. He still shook and held the woman to steady his body. Hannah buried her face in the man’s golden hair, feeling the closest thing a demon could ever feel to fondness. 

“There, there… you’re going to be safe…”

Hearing his name seemed to shock Ciel back into reality, suddenly unsure of how long he had been frozen in place and time. He especially wasn’t used to hearing his first name leave a servant’s mouth, but that was the least of his worries. He snapped his head towards her, wide eyed and pale as he listened to her words, and nodded to show her he understood.

It wasn’t just them, then. They weren’t alone in this; they had Sebastian and Hannah, the remaining Phantomhive manor staff and perhaps even the triplets, if they could be of any help. He would remind Alois of this when he was calmer.

That thought struck Ciel then, suddenly seeming to snap him back into the real world and truly analyze what was going on. Claude knew that he was free from Alois. Claude was going to try to take his life, and leave Alois behind to suffer. They weren’t alone in defending themselves. It was as if Ciel’s mind, in an effort to preserve his sanity, turned to his work related thought processes, working to keep him grounded and practical. This wasn’t the time for him to act emotional. They didn’t have that leisure.

Ciel rose from the bed, timely moving to crouch in front of Alois and cup his cheeks with still shaky hands, reminding him he was still there. “Alois, look at me.” he ordered, lifting the man’s head so his eyes met his own. “My staff are doing a search of the perimeter. No one is getting in here.” He turned his attention towards Hannah. “We’ll sleep in here tonight, with the door open. You’ll stand guard in case he returns tonight.” There was no time to make polite requests. He turned back to Alois. “He’s gone, Alois, he isn’t here right now. It’s just us, and we’re protected for now.”

Hannah nodded, leaving Alois with one last squeeze of his hand. She stood, turning on her heel to walk to the doorframe and prepare for a long night. It was at this moment that the triplets ran up, catching her in the light of the hallway. She gave them instructions, too low for either man in the room to hear, and they saluted, only to run off in different directions. While they weren’t huge fans of the Earl himself, they were bound to the female instead and heeded her every order. If her orders were to protect Alois, they would without a single pause. 

The man shakily rested his own hands over his lover’s on his face, cold but steady. Through tears, he locked eyes with the other, searching for his reality. He blinked the tears from his eyes, sniffing and some clarity coming back to him. 

“He… doesn’t even want me..” He said, processing aloud. While this was not the primary concern, he always supposed that if the contract ended, he would at least put the blonde out of his misery. As a last slight, however, he planned to take everything from him and let him sit in it. He scrambled through his memories, that night he asked for the demon’s help playing on repeat. He’d felt so wanted back then, but now he knew it was only until he found something better. The tables turned, the demon seeking revenge on him and Sebastian at the same time. Ambitious. “He… I….”

Ciel’s heart felt like it was being squeezed in that demon’s grasp as he watched Alois struggling to bring himself back down and ground himself. His thumbs gently stroked his cheeks as he leaned his forehead against the other’s, closing his eyes. “He’s evil and he’s angry..” He reminded Alois, hoping he could help him see that, after everything, the demon’s actions weren’t that surprising at all. “He won’t take me,”  _ You don’t know that. _ “We’re protected,”  _ He’ll find a way in. _ “He’s not going to kill me,”  _ He will. _ “And I promise you, you won’t be alone.”

It was then that Sebastian reappeared, sharing a brief word with Hannah before entering the room and standing before the two young men on the ground, though his attention was solely on his own master.

“Anything?” Ciel asked quietly, looking up at his butler as he cradled Alois’ head in his arms.

Sebastian shook his head. “No, master, no sign of him. He’s left the premises. But I have staff stationed around the manor, and I’ll be doing rounds of my own tonight.” He gestured towards Hannah. “I see Miss Hannah will be responsible for the Trancy Estate’s servants, and will be here tonight as well.”

Ciel nodded slowly, trying to take deep breaths. “Yes, she stays here. But I don’t want you going far, you hear me?” After all these years, Ciel would be lying if he claimed he didn’t feel uneasy whenever Sebastian wasn’t near. “You answer to me and me only, and I command you to protect me at all costs.” His voice was low now, threatening even, but not towards Sebastian. It was as he said before: he had gone most of his life expecting death to take him at any moment, but he’d be damned if he left Alois alone in this godforsaken world.

The blonde, now coming down slightly, allowed his head to rest against Ciel’s chest. It was in this manner that he insisted on hiding from the world if only for now. There was a period of time when he was wanted by the demon for his own flavor and not the people he could collect in his grasp. For companionship, he posed as the son of a sodomiser, mingling with the family of his former abuser for only the reassurance he had standing dutifully behind him. He had not wished for wealth nor power, but respect and companionship. If only he had known what it would turn into, he would’ve taken his revenge only on the Old Man, the true Earl of Trancy, and allowed himself to be taken with the demon into a cold, unforgiving Hell. 

His whole life now stemmed from those choices he’d made as a last resort when he was only thirteen. He wondered if he would have still met Ciel if he hadn’t been the fake Earl Trancy, but in this moment he almost wished he weren’t, all posturing and lies. Alive for naught but his rage and distaste for anyone who wasn’t him. and yet wanting someone to notice. Organically, someone had. If he hadn’t made that choice, perhaps even Hannah would’ve still eventually stepped forward for his brother, allowing him a chance at life. 

Alois looked up into Ciel’s eyes, making sure that that one person, this one thing, was real. Claude had… left the premises. Resentment was one thing, but this was another entirely. Abandonment. “I… I want to sleep…” He mumbled, still quite out of it. “I’ll… need help… untying…” 

Now the only two in the room, with the exception of Hannah’s presence by the door, Ciel helped Alois stand and walked him over to the bed. Without a complaint he began to unbutton the other’s coat, discarding it before moving onto his dress shirt and tie. He helped him undress silently, pulling a warm cotton robe from his wardrobe and pulling Alois’ arms through it. “Let’s not worry about night clothes, we’ll sleep in something warmer tonight.” Secretly, a part of him hoped the smell of him on the robe would calm Alois, perhaps even allow him to sleep.

After tying the robe snugly around the other man’s middle, he turned away to begin undressing himself, copying the same ritual and process of removing his clothes and folding them neatly on the table by the dresser beside Alois’. He, too, wrapped a warm robe around himself, circling around the other side of the bed to crawl in and under the covers beside Alois.

The two naturally turned into each other, this time with Ciel holding Alois tightly in his arms and combing his fingers through the blond’s hair in his chest. “We’re safe..” he whispered, letting the darkness engulf them, closing them in a small and comforting space that felt sturdy and reliable enough to be a fortress.

Whether or not the two of them would sleep that night or lay together in silence was hard to say.

Alois, unfortunately, was still reeling. His whole world shattered that night as he tried to build a new home in his lover’s arms. The robe made him feel only slightly better, smelling of the Earl Grey tea and merlot smell that encompassed the entire manor. In an effort to ground himself, he pulled it up to his face and smothered himself in it, trying his best not to think about his butler, betraying. 

He thought of Dorian Grey, a novel he’d found refuge in the whole time he’d been travelling. If his sins and choices were portrayed on his face, he wondered how ugly that would make him. He’d reeled the love of his life into this mess, reckless perhaps, but he’d known no other lifestyle. Were he simply wealthy by birth, none of this would have happened. He wouldn’t have had to fight for bread, and traded his life for an endless supply of it. He was still clean-faced and lacked any wrinkles or signs of age, but he was sure that his sins would make him look like the monster he knew himself to already be. 

The night passed as if caving in on both of them, Alois occasionally sitting up having heard a raindrop hit the window wrong or Hannah’s heel shift with her weight. No sleep came to him, waiting for the world to explode around them or for the butler to come back in through the window. For an hour or so, he even sat up in bed, just anxiously watching the night pass them by. This continued through morning, when the sky began to glow blue with the return of sunlight and some clouds became tinged with orange light. Though the night had felt long, he was surprised that they had in fact remained undisturbed all night. Realizing this, he looked up to Hannah, who had remained in the doorway the entire night. He wondered what orders she’d given the triplets, as he hadn’t even seen them to begin with. Without a word, Hannah flagged down Mey-Rin in the hallway, stepping away for only a moment to inform her that Alois was awake and she wished to retrieve him a change of clothes.

Just a short while later, Ciel began to stir as he felt movement beside him, weakly opening his eyes to see Alois sitting on the edge of the bed now and being dressed by Hannah. Now aware he was still close, he let out a short breath, relaxing his head back into the pillow. With his left arm he reached across the empty space to gently caress Alois’ lower back, stroking the skin with his thumb. He didn’t say good morning, as it wasn’t likely to be a good one.

Ciel wouldn’t claim he slept that night, rather he dozed while remaining on high alert. When Alois stirred, he would wake. When the wind was just a bit too loud, he would wake. When the floorboards creaked, he would wake. It was only in the last hour or two that he had really fallen into sleep, his arm draped over the other man’s lap until just moments ago.

The night before was still fresh in his mind. He was a target once again, for the first time in a long time. But now, he wasn’t the only one involved.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work of fiction is an original collaborative work between tumblr users @theearltrancy and @floweryfreelance. Its original format was in that of a roleplay, and has been edited to be a more cohesive story. This work was created on 11.10.20 and completed on 11.30.20.  
> Please consider following each author for more fictional works.

The passing days went by painfully slowly, both young men feeling the weight of the world on their shoulders and trying to hide it from each other. Each day was a struggle for normalcy as they strived to live normally while being followed by their demons, both literally and figuratively. Shadows seemed to loom over them at every second of the day.

Ciel had written to his fiance Elizabeth, explaining that something had happened at the manor and it likely wasn’t safe for her to return. He sent her flowers and a bit of spending money, encouraging her to travel a bit during her absence. He of course received a letter back from her, dripping with concern and worry for her love, but he assured her things would turn around and that he would contact her as soon as it was safe for her to return to him. He didn’t mention Alois, or Claude, or the fact that there was a chance he wouldn’t live much longer.

On this particular day, no less than three days after the incident with Claude, the two young men were walking through the shops in London to take their minds off of ‘things’, as they had been for the past week. Ciel and Alois walked side by side, with Sebastian in front of them and Hannah close behind them. The sight of a servant walking in front of his master earned them a few confused looks, but it mattered not to them. The triplets of the Trancy Estate were nearby also, keeping a watchful eye from afar.

Alois had tried his best to push the situation from his mind. Despite getting odd stares, he wished nothing more than being so close to his maid and not his butler. His mind had been constantly clouded with worry, the intensity of his emotions distracting more than usual.

He had spent the past few days watching clocks, doors, windows, anything that moved. Alois had a tendency to get fogged up with emotion, taking a back seat in his own life at times. It was almost as if he would watch himself perform tasks as usual but was not there to experience them. The hushed kisses, the late nights, the shared walks in the garden had turned into movie scenes for him, barely remembering to return any of it. His lips would move to meet his lover’s but he was not there to experience it alongside the movement. After a day or two, these stopped as Ciel took notice of his state and he instead spent all his time reading - the only time he felt like he was inside his body. 

In this state, he’d been asked out for a shopping trip. While he wasn’t sure safety would be optimal, he’d agreed if only to feel a little more normal. He’d spent an unusual amount of time picking out his clothing for the day with Hannah, trying his best to return to his usual self and tie and button everything right. 

Now, they were in downtown London as a posse with Alois and Ciel in the center and dressed to the nines like everything was normal. Alois sighed heavily, placing a smile on his face for appearances alone.

Even though most of their time together was spent in silence, the two never spent more than a moment apart. They shared a common fear that the current moment would be the last time they saw the other if they looked away now, and so they stayed together, determined to be with one another no matter what happened next.

Ciel noticed the smile on Alois’ face, though it didn’t bring him any reassurance. He knew that smile; it hadn’t changed since they were children. Alois was simply determined to convince everyone around him that there was absolutely nothing out of the ordinary going on. Still, it was nice to see him smile.

Thick grey clouds loomed overhead, causing Sebastian to suddenly stop and turn to his master. “It looks as if it may rain soon,” He commented, as the weather just an hour prior had been surprisingly clear. “Shall we stop for some tea to avoid the rain?” He gestured across the street to a dainty little restaurant, with signs in the windows that read “TEA & CAKES”. The inside looked quite nice, with small booths for seating with a nice amount of privacy.

Looking to the sky, Ciel noticed the clouds as well. “Ah,” he noted, twisting his cane in the palm of his hand. “I suppose it does look that way. Trancy?” He inquired, looking to his love beside him.

Wearing the muddied smile of his childhood gave him some comfort as well, knowing he was performing the way he was expected to. Catching a few glances of women passing by solidified the falsity into his expression, knowing it was at least kind of working. If he didn’t do emotion well, he would master faking. 

Looking upwards at Sebastian’s comment, he switched into a persona. At the very least, he should probably eat something. He’d only picked at food the last few days, distracted. Alois put out a thin hand to test the weather, finding that it was not yet raining. Hearing his name, he snapped back to reality and looked over at the other man, brief confusion flashing in his eyes. 

“Yes…. Yes, of course!” He replied, snapping back into his persona. “I have been wanting a nice cup of tea, now that I think about it.” He paused, a gentle smile crossing his lips, this time real. “I’ll get you any cake you want.”

Ciel noticed the smile, and it brought one of his own to his lips. He reached his hand to his, giving Alois’ fingers a gentle squeeze as sneakily as he could. “Well then,” he turned back towards Sebastian, gesturing to the street with his cane. “Let’s cross.”

Once seated in a comfortable booth, the weight on their shoulders seemed to lift ever so slightly. After all, they weren’t out in the open here; the booth’s walls were tall, nearly reaching the ceiling, and there was a curtain swept in front of it to allow for more privacy. Hannah and Sebastian stood just outside of it, their silhouettes able to be seen through the fabric. Here, there were walls on every side of them. No room for surprises.

A waitress came by with chamomile tea in a dainty floral tea set, soon followed by a tiered serving tray with small cakes and treats stacked neatly. As she left, a few beats of silence pounded in their ears, louder than it had been over the last few days. They could speak here, if they wanted to.

Lifting his tea cup to his lips, Ciel quietly cleared his throat, his visible eye focused intently on the blond man sitting across from him. “...How are you?” He asked with such sincerity, though a warning tone lingered, as if to say  _ don’t lie to me, I’ll know _ .

The blonde sighed deeply, as if it was the first breath he’d taken in days. before acknowledging the other’s words, he took a small plate of his own and lined it with a sandwich triangle and two small cakes. Placing a napkin in his own lap, he held the teacup that he had chosen and poured himself a cup, holding it in his hands and appreciating the warmth. 

_ It’s safe here _ .  __

“I’ve… been stuck in my own head.” He admitted, aware that this was more on the normal side for him and amongst gentlemen, he was ill. Knowing most of society couldn’t know this, he spoke lowly to keep up appearances. “Sometimes it feels like I’m just… watching myself from right behind my body. And…” He paused, unsure he wanted to admit the next part to his own lover, “Well, I never thought he wouldn’t want me.” He chuckled darkly, blowing the steam from his cup, “I’ve been wanted for my body and my soul, but only ever as a commodity until, well…” He trailed off, raising an eyebrow to his lover and taking a small sip of his tea. Chamomile was a good choice; he was instantly ever so slightly calmer. “I suppose sometimes it expires, like produce… Well, not for you.“

“Never for me.” Ciel responded abruptly, a tinge of anger coating his voice. While he understood it, he hated hearing Alois talk about himself this way. He took a short breath, and another sip of tea. “He’s vile. You know he’s only doing this to hurt you, and likely Sebastian as well.” Ciel gripped his tea cup tightly so as to stop his hands from shaking. “He’ll pay for this. He’ll burn for eternity for this.” When overwhelmed by anxiety, Ciel had the tendency to mask it in one of two ways: silence or anger.

The Earl rarely found himself backtracking through his past. He would often prefer to pretend it never happened, or to silence the constant whispers of  _ how did this happen to me? _ There was no point, as Ciel saw it. This was the hand he had been dealt, whether by God or the Devil himself, and so he had to play.

Alois leaned back, bringing the tea to his lips and sighing heavily again. He could tell his lover was getting agitated, and while he knew why, his own short temper made bad timing for it. Tired and stressed, he often would make comments that got on the other’s nerves for various reasons, and he rarely took notice until it was too late. 

“I hope you’re right.” He added, looking down to his lap. “Either that, or he’s doing everything right in accordance to his own king and we’re pawns.” Alois paused, placing his cup on the table and picking up his small sandwich, then holding it up to the light almost as if inspecting it. “Y’know, I dream of taking you away a lot.” He admitted, speaking with his mouth full in private, “Let’s find a way to survive this… and then find a way to New York.” He paused again, making eye contact with the other man. “Only for a little while, of course.”

The sudden shift in tone caught his attention and he looked up, his eyes locking with Alois’. Something about the moment felt quite intimate, which he couldn’t keep hidden as his cheeks flushed a soft pink. “Yes,” Ciel nodded lightly, taking a dainty bite of a small cake. “We’ll go away to New York. For business, perhaps...”

His own mind began to wander. New York, how pleasant would that be? A holiday in the New World, where no one knew them. They could ride through the countryside in a horse drawn carriage, visit the theatre for marvelous performances and dine by the coastal waters, only to retire at the end of the day to a hotel they shared. A conjoined suite, perhaps, to ward off any suspicion.

But, no matter how confident he appeared, Ciel still couldn’t shake the feeling that this time could really be  _ the  _ time. He had evaded death all his life, but something about this time felt different. This time felt personal.

_ No matter. Worry about it later. _

“We’ll explore as much of the new world as you like,” Ciel added, reaching rather unceremoniously across the table to wipe away a few crumbs from the corner of Alois’ mouth. “We’ll stay by the ocean, too. It would be nice to stay somewhere outside of the city.”

As Ciel brushed his thumb against his lips. The action brought a smile to his face, quiet and unsure but also comfortable with his lover. While he knew that they were likely to die soon, he refused to put any attention towards that fact, instead entertaining the thought of the two together in the New World, where only some would know their names and statuses but for the most part, they could be more open. A business trip, for market research. While Alois owned no company himself, he would play business partner and have reason to visit Ciel late at night in his suite. Dressed in heavy wool suits of the highest quality, only to toss them to the floor before bed…

“We could see some of those things Americans like. Central Park is supposed to be magical… I even hear the locals like to skate on the ice! How fun!” He mused, his mood improving in his fantasy. Speaking of it made it feel more real - that they really would live to see that. A smile graced his lips. “All the carriage rides we could take together to the city, just us…” 

Losing himself in the fantasy brought him back to reality more than the past few days had. He was now smiling quietly to himself, dreaming of their made-up future together. It was much like playing house at times, knowing they would always be on the fringes of society. 

“Oh!” He exclaimed suddenly, leaning out of the booth to quickly say something to Hannah, who shuffled about for a second and produced a shopping bag. He discreetly pulled it into the booth with them, rummaging through it as though he was checking it for something and then smiling brightly with his teeth. “I found something I thought you’d like when… you weren’t looking. The man admitted, stuffing tissue paper back on top of it and pulling the bag up by the handles onto the table, pushing it towards his lover. “I demand you at least wear it once.”

Ciel’s eyes lit up upon seeing the bag, knowing it contained a gift for him. His cheeks darkened as he attempted to suppress both his excitement and the embarrassment he felt for not having bought the other man a gift as well.

Placing his tea cup on its platter he reached for the bag with delicate hands, a shy smile spread across his lips. He held it in his lap, pushing apart the tissue paper to reveal a hat resting at the bottom. His smile grew as he pulled the hat from the bag, making sure to handle it carefully.

It was a hat perfect for formal attire: black with a rounded rim. Wrapped around the band of the hat was an emerald green trim, lined with black lace that connected to an eye-catching piece on the side. A black fabric rose. It was lovely.

“It’s...wonderful.” Ciel cooed, holding the hat at a different angle now to admire it further. He hadn’t received a gift in a while. The gesture left a warm feeling in his chest. Suddenly he placed the hat back in the bag rather hastily, reaching across the table to pull Alois’ hand to his lips where he placed a gentle kiss as he looked him in the eyes. “Thank you. I’ll wear it tonight, at dinner.”

The man laughed lightly, keeping a grip on his lover’s hand and their eyes locked. It was a moment of intimacy, more than others they’d shared because with the thread of death looming, the clock ticking, it was more intense. Sure, they could be safe together for a long time forward, but Alois knew in his heart that he may only ever see Ciel in that hat, unbloodied, once. 

It felt more terrifying than the other times they’d been thrust into danger. It felt final. It felt determined by fate. It felt like the culmination of all his bad choices of the past ten years, inviting sin and waste into his life and then being confused when it caught up with him. He never expected to fall in love, and for his own sins to encapsulate his whole life. Subtle but not undetectable, Alois released his hand to reach for a handkerchief in his pocket and turned away to wipe off the corners of his eyes with it. He wasn’t particularly emotional, but the stress was catching up. 

It only took him a moment to pull himself back together, sniffling and putting away the handkerchief. With his hands back on his teacup, he swirled the remaining liquid and looked up at Ciel from the corner of his eye. 

“We’re going to make it to New York.” He took a sip, nodding to himself. “Mark my words. And you’ll wear it there as well.”

Ciel nodded as well, placing the gift bag beside him on the booth seat. He picked up his tea cup and gestured to Alois, as if making a minor toast. “That we will.”

The two young men spent the next hour or so in the comfortable privacy of their cafe booth, making small talk about their future plans while admiring the rain that had only arrived a short while ago. Seeing as the weather wasn’t letting up, they decided it best to call it a day and return to the Phantomhive Manor.

The rest of their afternoon was spent locked at the hip, reading together by the fireplace in the Phantomhive Earl’s drawing room and playing a game or two of chess. A delectable dinner feast of beef and roasted potatoes and vegetables came and went, accompanied by a glass or two of aged wine. Ciel made sure to wear his newly gifted hat with a lovely, and possibly too formal, ensemble as a way of thanking his love. He looked beautiful in it, pale and completely flawless. Ciel made sure to thank Alois again as they exited to the drawing room, peppering him with sneaky kisses when no one was looking.

It was quite possibly the most relaxed day the two had experienced in a week. Though they never completely forgot their current situation, it was easy to get lost in the company of one another. Just as it was when they were boys, the rest of the world around them seemed to disappear when they were together.

Sleeping in the same bed once again, Ciel and Alois made their way up the stairs towards the master bedroom. But Ciel paused a moment, giving Alois’ hand a light squeeze. “I think I left my cane in the drawing room,” He said, looking up at the other from a couple steps below. “Go on and get changed, I’ll follow shortly.”

Less suspicious this night, he went willingly on his own to the large room with Hannah, even ordering her to leave as he undressed and redressed himself this time. He even had a moment before Ciel was to come in to reminisce on the day, sitting down on the silk comforter and looking over the room. Hannah had started a small fire in the fireplace, warming the whole room and keeping it quite comfortable. He looked forward to this night, hoping to hold his lover close and feeling the same anticipation he normally did once again. 

The blonde stood, walking to the window and peering out.It was still as usual, the trees bouncing only with the raindrops on their leaves. However, in the blink of an eye, something caught his eye, blazing past the trees quicker than he could see it - some black shadow. 

It was then that he heard a loud scream echo through the halls and his heart dropped.

The Earl had made his way back down the staircase and down the hall, past the dining room to his drawing room. He walked in, eyeing the room for where his cane might have been sitting and-

The window was open. Had they opened the window? No, they wouldn’t have, it was still raining and the floor was wet now. Ciel eyed the dampness on the floor, beginning to notice a pattern- a trail of wet footprints leading to where he was standing. And suddenly, the door shut behind him.

Nearly jumping out of his skin he turned as quickly as he could, locking eyes with a pair of familiar golden irises behind the shiny glare of a pair of glass lenses. In that moment Ciel did the only thing that came to mind. He screamed as loud as he could, stumbling backwards into the chess table and taking it with him as he fell to the ground. He shuffled away frantically, visibly quivering in fear as he stared up at the figure moving towards him slowly.

_ This is it _ , he thought.  _ This is the moment I die. Alone. _

Alois reacted on instinct alone, snatching his coat that had been folded over the back of a chair and some shoes that were easy to slip on and running straight out the door. He barely noticed that he was most certainly not the only one running to the room they heard the scream from, tunnel vision set on where he was headed. Hannah and the triplets, as well as the Phantomhive staff were all rattled, though Sebastian was the one who reached the door first, flinging it open and nearly hitting Alois in the face with it. 

He stumbled back for only a second, rushing into the room himself and noticing that there was now no one in it. There was commotion, the window was open and the floor was wet, but there was no Ciel.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work of fiction is an original collaborative work between tumblr users @theearltrancy and @floweryfreelance. Its original format was in that of a roleplay, and has been edited to be a more cohesive story. This work was created on 11.10.20 and completed on 11.30.20.  
> Please consider following each author for more fictional works.
> 
> *THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS VIOLENT CONTENT.

Alois racked his brain for an answer, when suddenly it struck him. 

“They’re headed to my estate!” He screamed, voice nearly breaking in panic, “They have to be! That’s where I found him, it’s his home too! Hannah, quickly!” Alois ordered, already running to the carriage while simultaneously pulling his coat on. The Phantomhive butler had already ducked out the window upon hearing his destination. 

The carriage ride to his home was longer than usual, every moment feeling like hours. He could tell they were going quickly by the way the rain hit the windows and the carriage leapt from roadbump to dirt road, but his heart was pounding in his ears. He felt nearly sick, holding on to the fabric of the seat like it would save him from the feeling.

When they arrived, Alois all but tossed himself out of the carriage and ran straight into the manor, having to tug on the doors which were still almost too heavy for him.

Ciel expected Claude to say more, something threatening at the very least, but he was silent and emotionless. Only his eyes held any sign of emotion: excitement. Like a predator.

And suddenly, everything was dark, or blurry, or both. He could feel the rain and hail striking his cheeks, leaving small cuts on the soft flesh. Was he in the sky? On the road? By the time they stopped, Ciel felt sick as he realized where they were. The garden, specifically the garden at the Trancy Estate. He wasn’t dead, but why?

Ciel’s heart sank as the realization hit him. Claude was going to make them watch.

Claude gripped Ciel by the back of his neck, lifting him and forcing him to kneel on the ground beside him. Ciel struggled against the demon’s painful grip, the positioning of his gloved fingers nearly cutting off the circulation of the veins in his neck.

The scene was deafeningly silent, all but the rain and hail pouring down on them. The Earl couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. All he could do was wait, held still like a dog gripped by the scruff of its neck. His already racing heart beat even harder as he heard the demon speak for the first time.

“Now, we wait,” Claude cooed, using his free hands to remove his damp and fog covered glasses and place them in his pocket. “Let us see if they arrive in time for the show.”

In all truthfulness, Alois knew Ciel’s manor better than his own, having only recently seen it again after eight long years. It was dark inside to boot, forcing him to stumble through the hallways to find the back of the manor. He ran until he found his ballroom, towards the back of the home with windows lining the garden. Alois stumbled over, hands on his knees as he caught his breath.

It was hard to see anything but the rain in the moonlight now, but he raised his head to look outside, into his own garden. He couldn’t make out a whole lot besides the dead rose bushes right against the window. Then, he saw something catch the light in the paved part of his garden, before the maze. Glass. 

The realization hit him as soon as Sebastian caught up with him, trusting Alois for once to know Claude best and where to find him. The realization hit him at the same moment, wondering why they were out in the open and not hiding away. Were they still early enough? It didn’t matter. Without thinking, the blonde shot off into the garden as fast as he could run as the servants that had found him followed after him into the dark. He felt the rain pierce him in the face, blinking it away and refusing any barrier that kept him from saving Ciel. There was no time to pause, there was no time for emotion, there was only the love of his life and the manifestation of the evil he allowed to control them both. 

Unbeknownst to Alois in the English midnight rain, Claude smiled to himself in anticipation, pulling a small dagger from his pocket and snatching Ciel to hold it to his throat. 

“I won’t be making this quick.” He purred into the man’s ear, watching the blonde appear from the night towards the two and making sure that the servants were following.

The young man’s breath caught in his throat as he felt the cold steel against the softest part of his throat. He reached his arms up and behind him, clutching Claude’s arm as he struggled to stay still. Squinting with the only eye he could see out of, he saw a soaked head of blond hair racing towards them, followed by what he could barely make out as Sebastian and Hannah. His eyes widened, his heart dropping into his stomach as he forced out a weak and hoarse shout. “Alois, stop!”

Sebastian had caught up with the Trancy Earl, reaching out and stopping him in his tracks as he grabbed hold of his shoulder. This was a sticky situation, and the last thing he needed was Alois Trancy acting foolishly based solely on emotion. He eyed his master, searching his face and body for any wounds other than the cuts caused by the icy rain. He then focused on Claude, narrowing his eyes as they stood no more than twenty feet apart. Silent, Sebastian began to survey the situation, searching for a way to-

“Sebastian!” Ciel shouted once more, his voice exhausted and failing him now. Sebastian’s eyes snapped to attention as he locked his gaze with his master’s, who was looking at him with weary, tired eyes. “Protect Alois,” He breathed shallow breaths, his gaze flickering briefly to Alois and back to his butler. “...at all costs..”

The demon nodded in acknowledgement, filing the command in his mind as he turned his attention back to the most important task at hand: saving his own master.

Claude let out an icy laugh, holding an adult Ciel almost off the ground by his collar, steel blade pressed uncomfortably tight to his jugular. It would take a single swipe to kill him, but that wasn’t what he wanted alone. He wanted Alois to suffer for dragging him along so long. He wanted revenge on Sebastian for keeping this stern, determined soul to himself. 

“Do you really think you’re going to be able to do anything to me?” He bellowed, taking a step forward with Ciel if only to make him squirm in terror. “I’m going to kill all of you. All but you, Alois.” He announced, attention suddenly turning to the rain-soaked blonde with wild eyes. “All those years I spent serving you, holding back, only for your soul to dim… I plan to make you suffer the way I did under your thumb.” He paused, locking eyes with the other, “For fun, your  _ Highness _ …”

His words no longer affected Alois, solely focused now on saving his lover. For if he could do that one thing, his death would come sweetly in the process. He made up his mind, shaking off Sebastian in almost a kind of wild fit, screaming for no reason as he did so. “LET ME GO! LET ME  _ GO _ !” 

He barely freed himself, shaking the only shoulder Sebastian had loose thanks to the drenched state of his wool coat. In a fit of determination, he ran towards the butler, shoving Ciel to the ground beside them. 

Then, he was warm in his abdomen. Then, he was in pain. Searing, unbearable pain as he was thrown away as if garbage to the side of Ciel. His thin, cold fingers felt the spot where the pain was coming from. He’d been stabbed. Deeply. 

Alois barely noticed as Claude let them both alone and shot off towards Sebastian instead, not intending on killing him right away if at all. He could feel blood coming up his throat as it pooled around his spot on the ground. A weak hand reached out to Ciel beside him, grabbing his arm loosely as he lost blood.

Ciel grunted in pain as he was shoved aside, the back of his head slamming against the pavement beside Alois. He struggled to open his eyes, his vision blurry and uneven. In a fit Ciel tore off his eye patch in the hopes it would help his sight even out, and he sat up to feel the back of his head. He looked at his fingers and he saw blood. Had he not felt the touch on his arm, Ciel might have spent more time worrying about his own injury.

Looking to his side he saw Alois laying on his back, one hand weakly gripping Ciel’s sleeve and the other pressed against his abdomen. His eyes darted between his stomach and the bit of blood on Alois’ lips, panic setting in. “N-No..” he stuttered, frantically ripping open the blond man’s coat to reveal his undershirt, now soaked in his own blood. “No, no, NO!” He screamed, tears filling his eyes and blurring his vision. “Hold on, just- Alois,” He spoke in a frantic whisper, tearing off his own coat and pressing it to the wound. He leaned in close, looking into his love’s tired eyes. “Sebastian has to protect you, h-he.. I ordered him to.. He.. He will, so.. Please, hold on..“

Ciel wouldn’t lose him this way. It was supposed to be him.  _ Him _ , for fuck’s sake.

Upon seeing the other demon rushing towards him, Sebastian was quick to evade him, leaping to the right and opposite Hannah, hoping she might take him from the other side. From each of his pockets the butler swiftly pulled three sharp kitchen knives, locking them between his fingers as a makeshift weapon. He turned quickly on his heel as Claude darted just past him, sinking one of the knives deep into the soft flesh between his neck and shoulder.

He grunted in pain, being handled but only slightly aware of anything around him. His vision was blurry, unable to tell if it was the rain on his eyelashes or the blood loss causing this. Alois could taste blood on his lips, coughing and spraying it onto Ciel’s hair. In this moment, all he could think was how disgusting he must seem. He hadn’t even saved Ciel, he hadn’t saved himself, he hadn’t stopped anything. His eyelids were drooping, so much as he tried to focus on his lover and raised his other hand to place it on his cheek. A soft smile made it onto his face as he looked into the other’s eyes. How beautiful that he got to see both, if this were to be one of his last moments, he thought. Everything seemed so… metallic. 

“Listen to me…” He whispered, all he could manage in that moment. “If I die here, just know that I did it for you to live, okay? You have to live.” He pleaded, blood from his hand now running down his lover’s cheek.  _ How grotesque. _ “You’re going to live. And- and you’re going to marry Elizabeth. And you’re going to get everything you want…” His head started to feel so light, as if he were floating. His grip loosened ever more, struggling to stay awake. 

How funny it was to him that it was once Ciel who did this to him last time. 

Claude was now tied in a full battle with the other demons nearby, wincing at the knife stabbing him now in his flesh. He threw it aside after removing it, a small amount of blood leaving his false form. Smiling, he ran at Sebastian once again with his blood-dressed dagger, stopping only an inch from his face as the other caught his hand. He jumped back, attempting again to run at him and take him over. He was now also avoiding Hannah, whose weapon of choice was another dull blade, and the triplets who did naught more than push him back into the space when he tried to sneak away to get Sebastian by surprise. 

The battle of demons, out for their own interests. In most circumstances, Alois would have found it quite exciting. His head was now bobbing into his chest, losing consciousness. Alois wrapped both arms around his lover, hoping that at the very least, Claude would have to remove him before being able to get to his lover. He closed his eyes, breathing still, however weakly.

“Shut up, SHUT UP!” The young man sobbed, gripping Alois’ bloody hand to his cheek as his other hand continued desperately pressing down on the wound. “I’m not losing you this way, you’re not going to die, you CAN’T!” Noticing now that the blond’s eyes were closing, Ciel struggled to multitask, still putting pressure on the wound while trying hopelessly to cradle his head in his chest. He quietly sobbed, pleading with him to stay awake and cursing the very ground they sat on, the rain and blood mixing in a grotesque pool around them.

Any onlookers might have thought that there was some sort of psychic link between the five demons battling the one, and what a battle it was. Small wounds healed at a supernatural speed, though the blood still stained their skin and the rips in their clothing. Sebastian’s attention continued darting back and forth between his master, the young man he was ordered to protect, and the demon before him with hunger and excitement in his eyes.

Claude was slowing down; not by much, but still slowing nonetheless, as the battle was ultimately five against one. However, the triplets were growing weaker and more exhausted, the three of them not as strong when it came to fighting. It looked as if it would be up to Hannah and himself to end this, once and for all.

It was at that moment, though, that Hannah caught his eye. Something in her eyes was signalling him; giving him a sign that she had planned her next move. Careful not to acknowledge her and give away her plan, he ran at Claude from behind, a knife in each hand, only to have each of his wrists be caught in the other demon’s grasp with the tips of the knives just barely piercing the skin on his cheeks.

Hannah stepped back from the battle into a patch of the space that Claude’s attention wouldn’t catch right away, preparing for her next - and only, hopefully - strike against Claude. She unhinged her jaw, reaching into her throat and keeping her eyes on the battle as Sebastian kept him distracted. Uncomfortable as it always had been, she began to pull the demon sword she carried from her body. She knew she had to be quick, for she could see her master against the garden walls, head now completely leaning against Ciel’s chest and barely awake. 

Claude was turned away from her as she ordered Sebastian to move out of the way. While she knew he had gotten him in his grasp, she also knew him to be a powerful demon, one well above Claude in rank. Hannah had to trust that this would work… it had to. 

In almost the same motion as she took to run at Claude, she held the sword back and skewered through his heart… or rather, where it should be. The ravenous demon froze in place, hands coming up to meet the half of the sword through his body. If she’d had any sympathy for him, she may have considered the look of shock on his face. However, instead she pulled the sword back through his body, watching him crumple to the wet ground before them. There was no remorse in her eyes, no sentimentality, only concentration. Quietly, the triplets reappeared, taking the sword from her to hold it as she walked up to the demon who was now surely dying. 

“A Trancy servant who can’t even protect his own master,” she said cooly, crouching down, “isn’t worth his salt.” 

Alois was now fully unconscious, having passed out the moment that his butler collapsed. He’d stayed awake long enough to see it, allowing himself to fall asleep now. 

_ Ciel would be safe… If I go now, I know he’ll be safe…. _

Upon hearing the commotion before him grow quiet Ciel lifted his head, observing Claude crumble to the ground as Hannah stood over him, Sebastian standing nearby and breathing deeply. He didn’t blink a single time as he watched the demon die, terrified that if he did he might reappear. The Earl, now exhausted and terrified and holding Alois close, watched as Claude turned to ash, washed away with the rain that still poured down.

It was over. Ciel swore he had never heard silence this loud. It was finally over, all of it. Finally, he and Alois could-

_ Alois _ . His eyes darted back down to the blond man in his arms, his heart beginning to race again as the rain and his tears blended together. “Sebas- Sebastian..” He croaked, lightly shaking Alois in his arms. “SEBASTIAN!” He screamed as violently as he could, his voice breaking as his butler rushed to his side, gently taking the man effortlessly in his arms. Ciel lurched forward and grabbed hold of his collar, staring him in the face with crazed and desperate eyes as his contract appeared to glow. “I ordered you to protect him, I ORDERED YOU!” He beat his fists against Sebastian’s shoulder, struggling to follow him as he stood. Sebastian said something to the triplets, but Ciel couldn’t hear. “BRING HIM BACK!” He cried, his legs giving out as he tried to stand to follow his butler as he walked towards the manor. “BRING HIM- Bring... him...” Ciel was out of breath now, collapsing on his hands and knees in the dirt, watching helplessly as his butler carried Alois Trancy into the manor, followed hastily by Hannah as they shifted their focus to tending to his wounds. The triplets, following instructions from Sebastian, rushed to the Phantomhive Earl’s side to help him into the manor.

Normally, Sebastian would have ignored anyone else and immediately rushed to his master’s side. In fact, he wanted to do just that. But the fact of the matter was, Ciel was unharmed, and he had to follow through with the order he was given.

Alois could feel himself being picked up, another rush of pain surging through his body and a sharp breath leaving him. He blacked out immediately after feeling it, nothing but darkness surrounding him. When you die, aren’t you meant to see a light? For him, he expected to hear screaming from Hell itself. Yet, he heard nothing; he saw nothing. 

Was this his death? Nothingness forever now that Hell wouldn’t even accept his soul either. Then, he heard a faint voice. Distant and small, a small boy - Luka? The man could see his own form now below him, lifting his hands to examine them. They were clean, and he was dressed in an all-white suit, pristine. The boy was visible now, running up to him to grab both his hands in his tiny ones. He was so cold… Alois could feel the tears forming in his eyes as he crouched to meet his brother’s eye level. 

“Brother, I didn’t expect to see you so soon.” He squealed, a bitter smile on his face. The man was confused - was he not meant to die so many years earlier? 

“Something happened… Shall we go home?” He offered, confused. Was he not dead? 

“No-” Luka demanded, cutting him off. He reached up with a tiny hand to wipe the tears from the elder’s face. “I’m supposed to see you later. With a man who’s about your height. He looks angry all the time!” He exclaimed in the way only a child could. The blonde was taken aback, eyes widening at the statement. 

“A-A man…?”

“Yes, a man! And you’re going to be really wrinkly! Both of you!” The child giggled, squeezing the other’s hands. “But if you ever miss me, you can visit me in your dreams, okay?” He nodded, giving the blonde a soft kiss on his forehead. 

And then, he was gone again. Alois looked frantically around for his brother, calling into the abyss he was stuck in. Finally, a door appeared about twenty feet away from him. Desperate to find anything, anyone, he ran towards it, flinging it open to a bright white light. His eyes readjusted, finding himself on his own dining table in his manor… was this the real one, he wondered. His hearing came back slowly, hearing Ciel’s screams and the commotion around him come into focus. The man blinked quickly, adjusting his eyes to the bright lights surrounding him. 

“See, I told you he would be okay.” Hannah remarked beside him, an arm crossing his body to place itself on Ciel’s on his other side. Still confused, he looked to his right, where he once again saw his lover. Tears welled up in his eyes, knowing that if this was Heaven, it is exactly how he wanted it to be.

His hair was still wet, but drier now. His shirt was still wet enough that it was sticking to his skin. A warm towel was wrapped around his shoulders; Sebastian insisted on changing him into dry clothes, but Ciel refused to leave his side. His cheeks were stained with old, dried tears.

Hearing Hannah’s words, Ciel’s head snapped up and grabbed hold of Alois’ hand, standing abruptly and stumbling as he was still regaining his strength. He leaned over Alois on the table, his hands stained red with his lover’s blood.

“It’s me,” he whispered to him, his free hand cupping Alois’ cheek and stroking it softly with his thumb. Truthfully, he wanted to scream with relief, but he thought it best that he stay gentle and calm for now. His relief manifested itself in the form of new tears, instead. “I’m here, you’re alright.. I promised you, you’d be alright..”

After everything they had been through, Ciel no longer cared about the presence of their servants around them. They knew their secret, and they also knew full well it was never their secret to tell. Leaning down, Ciel planted a soft and needy kiss to Alois’ lips, leaning their foreheads together as he cried softly. “He’s gone.. It’s over, Alois..”

Still confused and frankly very weakened, the man placed a hand on Ciel’s cheek as their lips briefly met, gentle and warm. It was then that he knew this was real as the motion caused another surge of pain in his side, but he didn’t care. Alois kept his hand on the other’s skin, confirming everything around him. There was such a loud silence, and he’d never seen so many people surround him in care instead of malice. 

This must be it, then. This was life without Claude, without a contract meant to eventually harm him, without a constant worry over his shoulder at all times. While the world may not accept their love yet, he was sure that everyone in this room wouldn’t endanger them for it. This manor would remain his, the money and power would remain his, Hannah and the triplets would remain his servants and now he had the two things that had kept him alive more than once - freedom and companionship. Alois smiled weakly at his lover, knowing new things now. 

“I saw Luka.” He said hoarsely, thumb tracing his lover’s cheek. “He knows what you look like. He saw you… with wrinkles.” He paused, raising an eyebrow or at least trying his best to do so. “Remember - I promised to take you to the New World. I can’t die yet.”

Hearing a name he hadn’t heard spoken since they were young boys, Ciel leaned back to look Alois in the eyes, an expression of shock and confusion on his face.

He had seen Luka, his late brother? Was it real? Or just a delusion? It was impossible to say, and it was likely neither of them would ever truly know for sure. The Earl had to admit that he became skeptical upon hearing his love’s late brother had seen him with wrinkles.  _ Wrinkles _ . Ciel never imagined he would live that long. Even on his twentieth birthday, he felt surprised he had made it as far as he had.

But all that mattered to him was that Alois found comfort in what he saw, real or not. He smiled softly at the reminder of their plans for the New World, a holiday or business trip that wouldn’t last forever, but would do them good. Planting a soft kiss on the blond’s damp forehead, he whispered, “You’re right, you  _ did _ promise..”

For a moment, the space around Ciel Phantomhive froze, leaving him alone with his thoughts. It felt surreal knowing they didn’t have to run anymore, at least not from this. There would still be the lingering secrecy of their love for one another, the chances of the world suddenly accepting men like them still slim. He still had Lizzie to care for, to love, and to lie to, but something told him things wouldn’t be as terrible as he had feared since he was a boy. Gazing down at the man he loved with everything he was, he imagined what potential the rest of their lives held.

They embraced for what felt like hours, Alois reveling in the freedom they now had. He knew the world to be cold and hostile to men like them, but they could have the option of secrecy with their level of influence. It would most certainly not be easier, but it would be less threatening without Claude breathing down his neck into older age. 

After a good long while, Hannah suggested that he be carried to his own bed that night since they were already at the Trancy manor and it wouldn’t be smart to travel in his condition. Reluctantly, the man agreed, insisting Ciel stay the night there instead, to which the staff planned things out for them. There was to be no funny business, to which Alois rolled his eyes, and the bandages on his abdomen needed to stay put. A hideous mess of cotton, he called it, complaining to his lover who seemed to understand his condition better than he did alone.


	9. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work of fiction is an original collaborative work between tumblr users @theearltrancy and @floweryfreelance. Its original format was in that of a roleplay, and has been edited to be a more cohesive story. This work was created on 11.10.20 and completed on 11.30.20.  
> Please consider following each author for more fictional works.

“Phantomhive, you’re going to make us suspicious if you keep this up…” Alois cooed, placing another kiss onto his lover’s cheek. The two were dressed for a walk in the park in the spring of the New World. Alois wore a more American style of suit, tailored and tighter to his body than he normally wore, all in tones of deep blue with a matching hat that boasted a black ribbon all across the base of it. It matched with a black fabric rose pinned to his lapel and his black dress shirt, tucked into a pair of blue trousers and a matching blue satin vest and wool coat. 

The two had spent the entire morning together in their hotel, a large high-end building on the edge of New York City itself. With all the lying they had to do to get here, they planned to make the most of it and insisted on breakfast in bed, which they ordered on their own and then Ciel had crawled into his bed for. It was now nearly afternoon as they dressed one another, taking extra time to button and tie things, just to be close to the other. 

It had been about four months since the incident. Luckily, Elizabeth had assumed that it had been what the letters were regarding. Alois insisted on it being a fight with a rival, mostly so he could tell extravagant stories at dinner to her and watch her face light up. The wound had healed well, spending most of his time in bed on his maid’s direction and not travelling even to the Phantomhive manor until now. While he was meant to be walking with a cane as well, he swore it off for the sake of high fashion and finesse, instead walking with a very slight limp for the time being.

The bluenette man smirked as he straightened out his lover’s wool coat, then turning to slide his arms through his own coat that the other held up for him. His attire for the day was similar to that of Alois: far more American than he was used to, but with a bit of flair. His undershirt was black and buttoned all the way up his neck, with a faintly patterned emerald green vest sitting snugly on top. A matching set of deep green wool pants and a coat complimented the ensemble, with the hat Alois had bought him months ago completing the look.

“I haven’t the slightest idea what you mean,” He teased, playing coy. Truthfully, he had become a bit more relaxed about sharing affection, at least behind closed doors. He no longer feared someone would be peaking through the curtains or barging in on them, at least someone other than their servants.

Coat now on he turned back to face the taller-than-he’d-wish-to-acknowledge blond man, looking up at him lovingly. “After our walk, I’ve reserved a table at Delmonico’s on Beaver Street. I’ve heard they specialize in lobster.” He crossed the room then to his cane that leaned against the wooden wardrobe, picking it up and holding it handle-out towards Alois. “And with all this walking, you’ll be using this.”

He stifled a laugh as he noticed the look of protest on his lover’s face, stepping forward to grab the other’s hand and gently place the cane in his palm. “Ah, I won’t have any complaints from you about this. Regardless, it’s black,” Ciel pointed out, turning Alois’ body to face the full length mirror on the wall beside them. He wrapped his arm through Alois’ as he stood just behind him, and rested his chin delicately on his shoulder. “It matches perfectly.”

Alois rolled his eyes, looking in the mirror at the two of them - the taller blonde man with a cane now and the smaller man who rarely looked this peaceful. Despite both being men, they truly made a wonderful couple and even seemed to match perfectly, both in deep jeweled tones. It brought a reluctant smile to his face, knowing that even though no one else may know, they certainly looked the part of a high status couple. 

“Fine. But only because you said so.” He responded, flashing a smile to his lover in the mirror and readjusting on the cane to stand up straight. He knew that all that walking would begin to hurt him after a while, though, and it would be the wiser choice for him. 

With a sigh, he stepped towards the door, pulling out of his lover’s embrace. He caught Ciel’s hand, however, pulling him towards his own body and catching him in a passionate kiss. Laughing lightly at his reaction, much like a lovesick teen, he opened the door to the world and dropped Ciel’s hand. Alois hoped that that moment would remain in the other’s head for the entire day.

A small gasp of surprise escaped him as he was pulled into the kiss, his body relaxing as he leaned into Alois. He hummed softly into the kiss and brought his hand up to the other’s cheek, holding him close. As he felt the other pull away and heard the door open, he blinked, admittedly disappointed. They had a few weeks in New York, and he’d happily spend all day in this room with the man he loved.

And so, out they went, into the world that despised them for who they loved but somehow felt lighter than it did before. Both young men knew full well that their struggles hadn’t vanished, but they could cope. They could work with what they had now, spending every extra moment with one another under the protection of servants they trusted with their very lives.

Society threatened their very existence but they were stronger with one another. They were in love, something no person, no demon, not even Satan himself could take away.

After all, there were still grey hairs to grow, and wrinkles to gain, and  _ that  _ they would do together.

**FIN.**


End file.
